Finally the festive
session was over and so was Deepawali, festival of fire-crackers, lights,
sweets along with lots of enjoyment, fun, games and purchasing of new silver or
steel utensils, furniture and fixtures, new colour coats in the existing house;
and last but not the least, buying of gold jewellary on the day of Dhanteras, which
used to be the most auspicious day of the year, have just passed away.
I have been
reminded several times, before Deepawali, by my beloved wife to give her
additional money for this Deepawali along with the monthly cheque for house
hold expenses. She had already prepared a long list of items which she wanted
to purchase before the festival.
It was almost eight
o-clock’ in the evening, I was still sitting in the office and giving the final
shapes and touches to my monthly sales plans so that I can close my month with
double digit growth.
I came home around
9 pm and simply sat down on my favourite chair; and within few seconds, I was
served a hot cup of sugar free tea and snacks. Meanwhile, the news hour had
just started on the TV so I decided to watch the news while enjoying my hot cup
of tea.
After the tea
break, I sat down with my laptop and started checking my emails. There were 41
e-mails in my inbox and I started reading them one-by-one and also responding
simultaneously. Suddenly I was forced to stop reading one mail of one very dear
friend of mine whom I have never met in-person but I knew her very well through
her regular correspondence, which were very honest, open, true, touching and
transparent. But in today’s mail, I could sense deep sadness, sorrow and pain,
which directly touched my mind, body and soul and the last paragraph of her
mail straightaway pierced my heart and I could feel the blood in her words
which was over flowing and shouting in pain in full voice and volume.
I was looking
blankly at my laptop. I stopped reading further and shut my laptop. My eyes
were filled with tears and I didn't realize when I started crying; whereas I
could not hear any sound of weeping, but my eyes were flowing with tears
uninterruptedly.
Within no time I
forgot my sales target and Deepawali shopping experience; the festival mood was
also vanished within seconds. I was wondering, who she was: “An angel, goddess
or my sister”. I was unable to define this relationship where I was emotionally
attached to someone who became my lifeline and I was having no clue, idea and
imagination about it. I found myself in Catch-22 situation where neither I was
in acceptance mode nor denial except to accept the situation as it was, the way
I was breathing, she automatically became the part and parcel of my life and I
could simply hear sound of her pain submerged with my own heart beats.
Suddenly, I woke up
from my illusion; my wife was calling me for dinner. I got up from my study
room and walked towards dining table which was hardly ten steps away from my
study but walking those ten steps seemed like ten miles and I found it very
difficult, hard and heavy to put forward each step towards the destination.
Over dinner, I
could not speak a word, my wife inquired twice why I was not eating properly,
but I could not look at her because she was the only person in my life, after
my mother, who knew me inside out, she could read me instantly. Throughout the
dinner, I was trying to ignore her gaze.
I came to my
bedroom and straightaway went to bed. She came running after me and first she
shook my forehead and asked me with lots of care and concern: “What happened to
you, not feeling well, did not eat properly also, what happened, tell me?” What
shall I tell her, I simply closed the chapter by saying: “I have had heavy
snacks in the office hence not feeling hungry?” But I could pretty well imagine
that she did not buy my explanation and simply looked into my eyes and I could
not hold back my tears.
She also sat down
with me on my bed; her eyes were also filled with tears but for different
reasons. She was worried about me. She did not know anything about my friend.
But being part of my life, she knew me so well and without much difficulty she
understood the agony, pain and suffering I was going through at that very
moment, without much difficulty and she quietly walked away from my room
leaving me all alone in totally shaken condition.
It all started from
last year in the month of July-2011 when for the first time I got her small
note, after reading one of my blogs, which said: “God is not kind to me” and I don’t know why, I responded
with a detailed mail explaining the meaning of God Almighty which I have
understood so far and the reason of our suffering which were directly related
to our past life’s Karma and Samskara. We are here on this earth because our
accounts in God Almighty’s bank is having debit balance and we must have done
something good in our past life that’s why we were given one more chance of
making our debit balance zero-zero and got this birth of a human being, it’s
all due to HIS blessings.
She responded to me
promptly with facts and figure proving her point of view, I was wondering why
she thought in such a negative manner about the creatures of this universe?
This is the
beginning of the new relationship between us, which started on Lord’s name. She
was a non-resident-Indian settled abroad. By birth a Gujarati but brought up in foreign culture. Her father was
a businessman from Surat-Gujarat and her mother was an English lady. She was Kavya Patel but known among friends as Kaypee. She was a
lawyer by profession, married to local citizen, divorced with one young girl who was studying in College.
After her divorce
(which happened in June-2011) she started living with her parents and stopped
visiting temple and church any more. And that was the time when she came into
contact with me in the month of July-2011. She also tried to commit suicide but failed miserably and on
top of it, she got into legal hassles with the local administration besides
cutting sorry figure among her family in general and her daughter in particular.
I told her many
times that she has no right to kill herself. I told her to be strong and face
the world with full aggression, excitement, energy, enthusiasm, happiness, joy,
life, vision and zeal. She has recovered from her present state of depression
but today’s mail has proven otherwise, that life is not mathematics Things
never happen the way we want them to happen in our lives and the situation we
face today never come to our dreams even.
She was diagnosed
with stage-4 colon cancer or colorectal cancer that starts in the large
intestine (Colon
I was hundred percent
sure and confident, there has to be some hidden agenda, objective, purpose,
plan and reason behind this act of God, which was full of depression,
destitute, pain and sorrow on the face of it, but deep down, I was not
convinced with my own logic simply because our Lord never does anything
without any objective, purpose and reason or I could say it must be beyond my
comprehension capabilities, capacities and skills due to which I felt so
helpless in life today and left with no option except to offer my sincere prayers for
Kaypee’s good-health, happiness, patience, strength and well beings along with pain-free
and peaceful life ahead, Amen!
With
Prayers
Gurcharan
