Her life is most important for me, by all means!

I had just finished my breakfast and after picking-up my laptop bag, lunch-box and newspaper cuttings, I was proceeding towards the exit door of my house, while leaving I instructed my wife to take some biscuits with her morning cup of tea. She did not respond, but put up a very soft smile on her face and simply lied down on the bed. I went back to ask her casually: “Still Feeling sleepy?” She whispered in a very low voice: “I am not feeling well; this chest pain is getting unbearable.” She closed her eyes with severe chest pain; I could see the tears flowing from both her closed eyes.

I moved towards her and pulled her in my arms, started calling her by name in panic. She told me to go to office so that I may not be late but I was not feeling comfortable and my instincts were indicating me otherwise. Moreover, I had never seen her in such a state before. She is a brave woman who has suffered two big operations on her body but today’s scenario was totally different. Therefore, without wasting any more time, I lifted her from her bed and made her to sit on the back seat of my car and rushed to the hospital. On the way, I tried to contact our family doctor but his line was engaged at a stretch; within next 15 minutes we reached the hospital. 

I parked the car in front of the EMERGENCY ward and called the nurse for a stretcher but my wife, with great courage, slowly walked towards the emergency room on her own without any help. One doctor and two nurses came rushing towards us. I briefly told them about the morning incident. Meanwhile, one nurse told my wife to remove all her ornaments, slippers and changed her clothes. I was getting impatient, because they were not providing any medical help to her. The doctor asked me about her problem, one nurse was instructed to take ECG and another nurse was advised to take necessary blood samples for various tests. 

After preliminary investigation the doctor told me that they doubt a heart attack but they were not sure because her ECG results were normal. Therefore they advised an angiography test to be done immediately to know the actual cause of chest pain. [Angiography is a imaging technique used to visualize the inside of blood vessels and organs of the body, with a particular interest in the arteries, veins and heart chambers. This is traditionally done by injecting a radio opaque contrast agent into the blood vessels and imaging using X-ray based techniques such as fluoroscopy]. Meanwhile, I was instructed to fill-in the admission forms, provide her medical policy details and deposit necessary cash-advance.

I was very disturbed and worried; they made me sign 18 different forms. I could not understand while her ECG report was normal, why they wanted to go for angiography test? After completing the admission formalities, I came back to the emergency ward, but, I could not see my wife there. I enquired from one nurse who was attending on her: “Where is my wife?” She said, not to worry, she has been shifted to ICU on the  second floor and she gave me one plastic bag in which my wife’s clothes, slippers and ornaments were kept, which she was wearing at the time of admission.

Until now, I  gathered myself well and was keeping control on my mind, body and soul but somehow my patience was withering away gradually and when I was stopped at the entrance of the ICU gate by the security guard, I lost my cool and shouted on him, who stopped me from going inside the ICU. And suddenly I saw one nurse coming out of the ICU, who scolded the security guard for creating unwanted noise in front of the ICU. 

The security guard immediately raised his finger towards me and said I was shouting on him and forcefully trying to enter the ICU. The nurse looked at me with a very sharp gaze and said: “Why are you creating disturbance and making noise here, don’t you know this is an intensive care unit (ICU) where complete silence is required?” I could not control myself and confronted the nurse by saying: “Look sister, my wife is inside and I am supposed to meet with her Doctor, I want to know what course of action the doctor wants to take for her treatment, so let me go inside.” The nurse seemed very upset with my arguments and furiously asked me a counter question: “Are you a doctor and how will you understand what treatment we want to take on the patient; you see, investigation is going on, she is under observation and once we have all the test-reports, the concerned doctor will call you and tell you the next course of action, please wait till then?” I was losing my patience and insisted: “No, I am not a doctor but that does not mean, I can’t see my wife and her doctor.”

By that time, another nurse came out of ICU and called my wife’s name and said who has come with this patient? I raised my hand and enquired; “What happened?” She said, “The doctor want to see you”.  And without wasting a moment, I rushed towards the ICU but I was again interrupted by the security guard, who instructed me to wear polypropylene shoe-cover on my shoes before entering the ICU and handed over one pair of polypropylene shoe-covers. With great difficulty I wore those plastic blue color covers and rushed inside.

There were 12 beds in the ICU and all were occupied by the patients. They all were looking similar to me on the face of it due to their common light blue colour dresses but I could not see my wife among them and shouted again: “Where is my wife?” One nurse who was standing with a doctor near my wife’s bed raised her left hand and instructed me to come to her side. I walked straight towards them and first enquired from my wife about her pain. She said it’s still there but in between the Doctor interrupted me and enquired about her past health record, current medication and medical history. I gave detailed information about her past two operations, her cervical and sciatica problems along with her present medicines with prescribed dosages.  

After noting down all the details, the doctor gave me one printed form of different packages offered by the hospital for the heart patients and said, I may choose one package as per my budget. And he further explained to me about the proposed treatment procedures for my wife: “After angiography report, either they may insert stent or implant pacemaker or go for bypass surgery based on the percentage of blockage in the heart. Therefore, I may choose the package out of silver, gold and platinum and let them know my decision now and arrange funds so that after my consent they can immediately start next course of action, to save the patient’s life.   

I was standing still numbed in front of the doctor in ICU; I was almost in a shocking state after listening to doctor’s explanation. I could not speak out for a few seconds. Somehow I mustered strength and with great courage I asked the doctor about her angiography report. The doctor told me that they have not done it yet and only after my decision they will proceed further. I was advised by the nurse to consult my family, arrange funds and sign the form for the selected package.

The package started from Rupees 2.5 lakhs to 10 lakhs depending on the treatment opted. Although I was covered by the healthcare policies but the amount was not sufficient. I never thought even in my dreams that I would land up in this situation where my true lifeline and better half would become a victim of this dreaded disease. She is inside ICU and I am facing all alone the worst crisis of my life, fully confused, uncertain and baffled about the next course of action.

I was fully shattered, scared, feeling very sad, low and disheartened. At that moment, saving my wife’s life was the top priority for me. Arranging money was also a difficult task but I was confident that I would be able to arrange the required funds without much problem or difficulties. 

Today, saving her life was more important for me and I was not thinking much on the financial issues. As a matter of fact, without her consent, I had never done anything in my life and whenever, I had decided to do something on my own (without her consent), I always failed miserably. She had always advised, instructed, guided and inspired me to put my right foot forward to do thing in the right prospective and proper manner without harming, hurting and hitting others and keeping the family interest on top. And today, when I needed her advice the most, she was on the bed in the ICU and not there with me as I couldn't take a risk of telling her anything about her treatment. Because I knew for sure, she would never allow me to spend such a huge amount of our savings on her treatment, because for her, the top most priority today was our two younger daughters’ marriage, but for me, saving her life was the foremost and important thing in life, and I decided to sign the documents so that the best treatment could be arranged for my wife by the hospital without any further delay.

I know for sure, if I am not there, she will be able to manage my family very well but if she will not be there, I just won’t be able to manage myself, forget about managing my entire family. “Oh Lord! Have mercy on us and save her life by all means. If you want to punish someone it can’t be her, it will be me, it’s obvious, you must have made some mistakes, please recheck your accounts and take corrective action and fix the mistake immediately. You also know that she is a much better person and very sweet human being who loves her parents, brothers and sisters so much and in the same intensity as she loves her mother-in-law, husband and daughters. She extends the same warm hospitality to one and all, whether they are relatives, friends, neighbors or strangers. She is too good, a perfect host, companion, friend, philosopher and guide par excellence.” She deserved to return home fit and fine in good health without any alteration, amendment and correction on her body.

I was waiting in the lounge opposite ICU where more than fifty men and women were waiting for the feedback on their near and dear ones; I was one amongst them, who was in total dark, fully dependent on the hospital staff who used to come out of the ICU with a good and not so good news for the relatives of the ICU patients. It was almost 6 'O’clock in the evening and still I was waiting for the angiography report of my wife. I didn't know when, I started crying and my face was immersed in tears; and suddenly one old aged man handed me one religious book and asked me to have faith on the Lord and pray. I wiped my face with the handkerchief thanked to the aged man and started reciting from the holy book praying for the fast recovery of my wife and all the patience’s who were inside the ICU.   

With Prayers

Gurcharan