I was not feeling well for the last couple of days although physically
fit and fine but still, inside something was constantly haunting me and all of
a sudden I started crying without knowing the reason of my sudden break
down. This sad mood continued for a week and I was not behaving normally. It so
happened that I stopped reading and watching TV which never happened in my life
before and the first person to notice this change in my daily routine was
my beloved wife. While going to sleep last night, she asked me casually: “Not
watching TV now a days, what happened ?” and before she could go any further on
the subject, I replied “Nothing at all, please don’t bother” and I coolly
went to sleep without giving any opportunity to discuss further. But
sleep seemed miles away; I was constantly tossing on the bed. I could see
my wife already gone to deep sleep but my eyes were still wide open and filled
with tears which were flowing down my cheek wetting my pillow..
The very next day morning, I got up early from the bed and after
completing my morning breakfast, left for my office rather late but
instead of going to the office, I turned my car towards
the opposite direction. After driving for twenty odd minutes, I stopped
my car in front of a cemetery where dead bodies were being buried. I
parked the car at one corner and went inside. There were few people standing at
the centre of the cemetery and a priest was reading from the Holy book;
after half an hour or so everyone left and no one was around. I was still
standing alone for quite some time wondering what to do next. I saw an old man
coming towards me, firstly speaking in loud voice but when he came
nearer, he stopped talking and started staring at me with mixed feelings
of shock and surprise; he wanted to say something but was found
it difficult to speak out. I greeted him with both my folded hands and
said: “I am here to pray for the departed souls, can I pray for them,
please?”
The old man turned back without answering my question and after few
minutes, he returned again this time along with the priest, who was
wearing white rob, holding a book in one hand and an umbrella in the other. I
greeted him with respect and told him the purpose of my visit. He first
listened to me very tentatively but later posed a question: “But how come
you are here?” I answered him in detail as to why I came here, what I wanted to
do and how he could help me in solving my problem. He suggested me
to accompany him to the church, which was
approximately ten kilo-meters from there. I was left with no option but
to follow him in my car.
We reached the church within the next 15 minutes. I stopped the car
in front of the church. Instead of getting down from the car he requested me to
proceed further towards his guest house which was behind the church, where he
was residing at present. Therefore, I moved the car as directed by him and
reached his guest house. I parked the car in front of a double
storied building and walked inside along with the priest.
He requested me to sit on the couch at the drawing room and went
inside. He came back later wearing white shirt and trouser and sat down on a
chair opposite me and said: “Its twelve noon now and the church is
closed, I have decided to bring you here so that over lunch we can discuss in
details about your problem". Then he asked me “Are you feeling comfortable
now, tell me what you were saying at the cemetery?”
I told him about my present dilemma; by each passing day I was getting old
and I didn't exactly know how long will I live. I have two grown up daughters
who are yet to be married, old mother and an ailing wife to look after. I
have lost my father long time back; neither I have an elder brother nor a son,
in case of my sudden demise, who would take care of my family? I was
feeling very low, disappointed and sad for the last one week. I was
missing my father very much and I wanted to communicate with him who had left
me over a decade back; but I didn't exactly know how to contact him. Today, I
don’t exactly know what happened to me and I straight-away drove towards
this cemetery. As a matter of fact, I wanted to communicate with those
people buried there lying under the ground in their eternal sleep. Somehow
I wanted to connect with them, so that they could answer my questions.
The priest listened to me very attentively in a deep silence mode.
He then started narrating his side of the story; that he was born in
Thrissur town of Kerala state, where his family members were still residing; he
had lost his parents, they are seven brothers and sisters in the family; he is
in the 4th position, all are married except for him, only his
elder brother is staying with his family in his home town rest of them have
settled in different cities in India and abroad. It was his mother who wanted
him to become the priest; therefore at the age of 14 after completing his
matriculation, he joined the Church at Kochi town. He is around 60 years
old, serving humanity and for the past two years he was stationed at a
local Church here.
The priest later told me that his entire property/wealth could be
accommodated in a small suitcase filled with few sets of his clothing’s and
books. He had got no bank account, no investments, no house of his own, nothing
in his name which could be converted into cash. He had not bought any Life
Insurance or health insurance policies. He neither felt insecure nor ever
wanted to buy any property in his name or saving money for the future.
I asked him about his salary and perks which he gets from the
church. He told me with a smile that he is not getting any salary or perks from
the church. Yes, free accommodation is provided to him wherever he goes and he
also gets necessary meal, clothing as per the necessity and requirements,
nothing more, nothing less. And when he falls sick, all arrangements were made
to provide best treatment to him. And last but not the least, all his
requirements are closely looked after and fulfilled by the Lord himself simply
because he was at the service of his beloved God Almighty round the clock
on 24X7 basis.
He also told me that he was the chosen one to be at the
services of his Lord and his people. He came here with a definite
objective/purpose of serving humanity. He was never scared of death and he was
always ready to perform his duty in any given situation without any hitch or
hesitation and that too without expecting any reward, recognition or
remuneration in return. He never felt the need of a family of his own because
he treats all the people in this world his family. He concluded his
conversation by saying: “I am truly blessed that I have got an opportunity to
serve my Lord and if given a choice, I would love to come back again in
this world as a priest, Amen!”
I was totally confused listening to his tale and found it difficult to
understand what he was saying though it was a plain, simple and
straight forward reply to the questions awaiting for answers in my mind.
Although he answered all my questions with full honesty but I continued to ask
probing questions about his family, friends and relatives. He told me in a very
simple language that all the living beings of this universe are his family and
he loved them all, above all, he loved the Lord most.
I was in two minds and not yet ready to accept his answers on face
value, if I could say so, replies were actually corrects but I was not in a
position to accept such simple and straight forward answers which were
like pure gold. Since I was a family man married, having a wife and
children have unnecessarily created so many anchors and emotional
bonds of my own.
I started thinking about the life of this old priest who had no money,
tension, worry and has left everything in the hands of God Almighty; whereas on
the other hand, I needed a family to support for everything in life and I
just could not think of living my life alone without my family, it’s just
not possible. The sheer idea of living alone moved me very deeply and my whole
body started shivering from top to bottom; the only thought that upset me
so much, I wondered, how would I survive even for a day
without seeing my angels and other members of my family, oh my
God, it’s just not possible. At the same time, I was literally wondering about
the priest who had spent his entire life alone serving the Lord and his people
without expecting anything in return, no money, no family and no house; but how is it possible, I still wonder.
I sat down there for quite some time without any agenda or plan. I was
feeling totally exhausted and blank. My eyes were still filled with tears, but
this time it was out of happiness. I had gone to deep meditation while
still sitting there in the presence of a holy man. Inside me, I felt total
silence and suddenly I realized as if all my questions had been answered
automatically which were puzzling me over the past couple of weeks driving me to
the cemetery today. I was left with no more questions or queries and I started feeling
a deep sense of satisfaction, peace of mind and my whole body started
floating in the air as if I have become weight-less, almost zero without any
desire of my own; finally I got solutions to all my problems through this priest.
This eternal journey continued for quite some time and for me the whole
experience was so new, strange and un-thoughtful that I can’t express it in
words but one thing was crystal clear that this happened in the presence of an
honest, pure and pious soul who was blessed and had direct connection with
the God Almighty!
With Prayers
Gurcharan
