I have seen Death with my own naked eyes

As usual, I reached Mumbai Airport late but as the flight departure was also delayed by two hours,  I straight-away went to the CHECK IN  counter and got my Boarding Pass from the counter executive. Having seen my turban, on her own, she gave me the window seat at the ‘ no smoking zone’.  After security check, I sat at the waiting lounge and started reading my favorite novel. Two hours had since passed but no announcement for departure was made for the Mumbai-Kolkata flight.   

Mumbai to Kolkata flight duration is 2 hours 20 minutes and even after landing at Dum-dum airport, it usually takes  another one and half hours to reach home.  It was already 8:00-pm and yet no announcement for the  departure made.  I wanted to inform my wife about the delay, but the STD booth was outside the waiting lounge. Therefore, I dropped the idea of calling her.  I knew, she will understand.

Finally, the departure announcement was made and all the passengers proceeded towards the Kolkata flight.  At 10:30-P.M. the flight took off.  Every one seemed happy at last.  So was I, because I was going back home, after a week’s sales-tour. The crew members were very efficient.  First,  they gave us toffees and welcome drink and after half- an- hour  started serving  dinner.

The serving crew member gave me non-vegetarian tray and I had to request her to replace it  with  vegetarian food. She politely said ‘sorry’ and after few minutes brought the  vegetarian tray. I had just opened  my  tray to start eating,  an urgent announcement from the flight captain said, "due to bad weather, the flight may be delayed further".

Within next ten minutes,  we could sense that there was something seriously wrong with the aircraft and one of the passengers shouted in panic "only one engine is working and we all will die in the air".  The crew members rushed to that passenger and took him to a back seat. Within no time,  there was panic and  some passengers started crying , some shouting and a few like me began praying. The scene was so horrible as if I was seeing death with my own naked eyes.

I thought, finally, the D-day has come but I was not ready for it. I never expected it to come so early in my life. I have many things to do, and  how God could call me back so early. What is my age?  My mission had not accomplished yet.   I am married,  having elderly parents and children to look after.  I have to go a long way in my professional career also and here in the air,  death is knocking at my doors. No,  no, there was something seriously wrong; the God Almighty, all merciful God could never take so many lives at one go. How could He?

Every one was upset and few elderly passengers including women and children started crying and shouting in the plane. Crew members were rushing everywhere and consoling the passengers; serving waters etc.  They did not show panic, but I knew inside, they were as much worried as we all,  but still  were performing their duties with lots of courage, conviction and confidence, as if, they were not worried at all about their death. The co-pilot was repeatedly announcing  "please do not get panic, things are under control, we will land at Nagpur airport within next thirty minutes. Please calm down and every thing will be alright".

I could not concentrate any more on the novel I was reading and started thinking about my family in general and my children in particular. All of a sudden my entire family came alive in front of me and I started rewinding my life from my childhood.  I was stunned and almost in shock to know that an end of my life had just arrived and I did not know whether my family will be able to even see my body, forget about  proper Dah-sanskar and Arthi-visarjan activities. I was thinking of my elderly parents, my beloved wife and two beautiful daughters, who were studying in school. I did not know what will happen to them, after my death;  my provident fund, life insurance policies and total savings would not be sufficient enough for them to lead a peaceful life. So,  how will they manage, my Lord?

But then I realized, why think negative.  God Almighty will save us all.  For the first time I was not very confident about His existence. I was very sure, if the Lord was to make a balance-sheet of my  life's Karmas today, He will find it in red, because I had done more bad than good things in life.  Now, I cannot rewind my life again and do necessary corrections. I have hurt many people by my words, deeds and acts knowingly or unknowingly, but I cannot do any correction now,  because the past is past.

And within no time all my past deeds came in a flash in front of my eyes and the guilt inside me became so strong  that it was no more important for me, whether I die today in this plane crash or not.  In real sense,  my soul had died many times in the past but I did not realize because that time I was  under the influence of my ego, pride, hotheadedness, ignorance and wrong doings. In each and every personal and professional relationships, I had repeatedly hurt my family members and friends. I can see for myself  today how wrong I was then, because I was doing those shameful acts with my insufficient knowledge, skills, attitude, behaviors and last but not the least my big/fat ego.

Today, all the 228  passengers of this flight including  two pilots and six crew members will die in one  crash. Oh my Lord, please pardon and forgive us, at least, give us one more chance  to make necessary corrections in our lives. Why don't you understand, I have my family to look after.  Please do not be so cruel and unkind.  After all,  we are human beings and we keep on making mistakes and you, our only Lord,  will always pardon us without any preconditions, so why  this punishment  my Lord?

I opened my bag and took out the Holi book of "Sukhmani Sahib" and started reading. But to be honest, I could not concentrate on it, but still tried to read it loudly. Meanwhile, I also started telling my co-passengers to start praying so that we all can have a safe landing soon.

While we were still undergoing the trauma in the horrific atmosphere inside the aircraft, the Chief Pilot announced the safe landing of our flight at Nagpur Airport, thus abruptly ending our ordeal.  

More than Twenty years have passed since that night but I could not forget that incident till date and  it reminds me every time that this could be my last day of my life and I must finish my work fast and do not blame later for my incomplete task, and since then, I am living my life on daily renewal basis.

With Prayers-Gurcharan