I was wondering, why two Individuals must enter into a relationship. Let me elaborate this further: my mother and wife, who I know personally, they don’t have any individuality of their own. Say for example, my wife was a daughter and sister till the age of 18; got married at the age of 19; at 21, she became a mother. She is 50 years old now but she still lives like a mother first, then daughter and at the end wife; that too, when she comes in front of me, face to face, she immediately changes into the role of a wife by compulsion and not by choice. But at bottom of her heart, she was and she remains to be a mother first.
I always tried to tell my wife and daughter that they are individual beings; they owe a lot to themselves first. Please listen to inner voice of your own soul and then act accordingly. But I am sorry; they don’t buy my logic, any more.
As someone rightly remarked - “Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains.” These chains may be bonds of relations or values or something else. We are so bound to act in a set pattern and according to norms, either to please our family or the society or the world as a whole. I fail to understand why this happens to us, always? Through out our lives, we all play different roles as different characters and at the end we die as parents, grand-parents or some times even as a child alone; but the matter of the fact is, this type of relationship goes all along our life. Though, for our relatives this relationship it stays till the end.
I have seen a man/woman playing different kind of roles in his/her entire life-span, in the form of different characters and relationships, say for example: -
1) An individual born as a boy or girl, 1st relation is with their mother
2) 2nd relationship they develop with their father, brother & sister
3) 3rd relationship with their respective spouse
4) 4th relationship with their In-laws, relatives & friends
5) And later, they become parent, and this goes on and on…
Here my point is: why two individuals can not remain as Individual human being only; without getting involved into any kind of emotional or physical relationship? I strongly feel that I am an individual soul born on this earth with a defined, definite and specific goal/objective/target.
This gifted Life’s prime objective was to achieve the said goal with our sincere, hard work and dedicated efforts. By not following it we are defying the will of the God. As per face value, this journey of life looks too long & on the way, we sometimes feel exhausted, tired, gone astray and/or get deviated from our main goal, objective & target.
Therefore, to cross this very long and unfamiliar distance, we need a guide, companion, friend, mentor or a true Master, who can help and support us in treading toward our final destination safely and without hindrance. In other words, we are actually looking for a fool-proof, safe, short & defined road map so that we can put our right foot forward towards the said destination with complete mind, body & soul.
On the way, when we feel alone, exhausted, worn out and tired, we strongly feel the need of another companion. At the same time, it becomes our only un-fulfilled wish to be with someone as our partner and co-passenger, who can come along on this dry, tough, rough, long, unknown road, which is bumpy all along.
We closed our eyes and started living in an illusion that this transit place is actually our permanent house, all relationship which we have developed on the way will remain with us forever & we will never die.
By default, during the said journey, we forget the main goal, objective and target for which we were actually born as human beings and this transit-point is not our final-destination, but unfortunately, the main goal, objective and target is completely forgotten or buried by us in a way that it never surface again.
We play so many roles as doer and not as decider, i.e. we act like a son, brother, husband, son-in-law, father, employee, friend, relative, writer, philosopher, preacher, lecturer and so on, but we must not forget even for a split of second that we are playing a particular character/role for the time being, because each of us have a unique soul and we will act until our role demands, but we can’t be a son or husband or father for rest of our life?
We do play a particular role for the time being and again we would get back to our original-selves, as an individual first. I was born as a human being, came on this earth with a mission to complete, a task given to me by my Master the Supreme God or you may call HIM by another name of your choice.
But, it’s easier said then done. I have always seen my mother and wife looking the whole world from Mother’s perspective only. Both of them are individual souls, must be having so many dreams, hobbies, likings, missions, objectives, tastes, targets and visions, which they might have thought of in their initial lives, when they were young, but they had to bury everything at their parent’s house and later they are trying to fulfill the ambition, commitment, dream, obligation, promise, short, mid and long term targets of their Husband, Children, Relatives and Friends first; while performing this role and fulfilling those commitments, suddenly, they pass away from this universe, without completing their prime goal, objective and target; how pathetic, sad and sorry state of affairs, isn’t it?
In our society, same thing is true for any other relationship for that matter. I have seen my Bapu ji (father) doing everything for me, my mother and brothers. He never used to buy anything for himself. I being the eldest son, he used to take me to the market on the week-ends and buy me lots of toys, food, soft drinks, chocolates, ice cream and clothes, but I had never seen him eating or buying anything for himself from the market. But, I had always seen him enjoying, having good feel with broad smile on his face to see me enjoying, laughing and dancing with excitement, happiness and joy. I used to enjoy those free goodies and he used to be satisfied just by looking at me and his biggest satisfaction came on his face when I used to tell him: “I am done, let’s go home now.”
In this whole gamut, we miss one thing and that is, the prime objective of our life, which the God Almighty had given to us at the time of our birth; that is totally forgotten. I was told, we got this life of a human being after completing a life-circle of 83, 99, 999 different lives and blessed in the 84th lakh life of a human being; the main and the only objective of this birth was to merge with the creator of the universe, like a drop of water merge with the ocean, which was diluted in the beginning itself and forgotten at the end.
With Prayers
Gurcharan
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