My train, Rajdhani Express was running six hours’ late. In fact it started late from New Delhi station on Wednesday night due to late arrival of the in-coming train and by the time I reached Sealdah station it was almost 4.30-PM on Thursday evening whereas the schedule arrival time of my train at Sealdah station was 10.30 in the morning. I took two days’ leave for Thursday and Friday; Saturday-Sunday being weekly-off, so that the total stretch of the holidays became four days. I also booked my returned ticket for Saturday so that I can reach home on Sunday morning by the same train.
Now, due to the late arrival of my train at Kolkata, one working day was lost and I was left with one and half day only. On Saturday evening, I was to board Rajdhani Express train again for my return journey from Howrah station at 4.50 in the evening. Therefore, I decided to proceed towards my Hotel in South Kolkata for rest.
I wanted to visit my childhood friend’s home in South Kolkata where his mother was living with his younger brother. My dear friend’s name was Jagmohan Singh Arora but we used to call him Jagga. We were born and brought up together in Kolkata as they were our neighbors in the same building, where Biji (full for Bibi Ji, Jagga’s mother) used to look-after us since our childhood. Both of us were admitted in the same School by Darji (short for Sardar ji, Jagga’s father). After completing our Higher Secondary, I went to College and he took up his father’s business.
We hardly met in these 30 years since I left Kolkta. We got married, have our own families and a busy life. Though he had attended my marriage, I was not lucky enough to witness his marriage. But I always used to get updates about him from my mother and younger brothers who were still living in Kolkata.
Last week, when I was out on official tour, I got the shocking news of the sudden demise of my very dear childhood friend Jagga from my mother. First of all, I couldn’t believe it, but since this news came from none other than my mother, I couldn’t raise any doubt on the source. Still, I asked my mother twice if it was true, and in reply, she started crying loudly over the phone. So, I was left with no option but to accept this heart-piercing truth with a very heavy heart.
Jagga, my childhood friend, how can he die so young? He has left back his wife and two kids, both are married and well settled in life. The daughter is married in a big business family of Kolkata and his son tied knot to his MBA class mate and now both are working in a foreign Bank at New York City of USA. He left a big fortune for his family in the form of two flats, four shops, one running business and lots of liquid cash but in spite of every materialistic thing which can give basic comfort to his family was very much there except his physical presence.
I was totally moved with this tragic incident and was in the grip of a shocking state of mind. Not because I was afraid of dying so young but because it reminded me that I am also in the queue now and my turn will also come sooner or later, though the fact remained, I was not yet ready to die at this very moment. Given the choice I don’t want to think about it at all. How could I die so early? It sounds so absurd, impractical and stupid. So many things are left incomplete, pending and unfinished in my life and moreover I am not yet prepared about this particular crises at this point in time. You see; so how the God Almighty could shut my life in between? Oh my Lord, please listen to me and give me a break, will you please? My dear Lord, please try to be more practical, professional and reasonable and act smartly by not saying “Pack-up”. Oh my God, please give me some more time to live, so that I could finish my very important work which only I can do, trusts me.
While sitting in my Hotel room, I started preparing my list of pending work where my presence is very much needed, necessary and required. Therefore, I have made very exhaustive list where more than 52 pending works were short listed, now even my Lord can’t deny this, I am sure of that.
But deep down within me, I was not comfortable with the said list and I thought to scrutinize it one more time to make it more authentic, genuine, practical and realistic so that my Lord may very kindly approve it without raising any objection. Say for example, marriage of my two daughters in fairly decent families; fully furnished flat for my wife; sufficient stock of food items; ready-made garments; medicines for her diabetic, gastritis and sciatica pain; sufficient amount of fixed deposits along with uninterrupted monthly income flow to meet her day-to-day expenses; besides additional funds exclusively for my daughters so that they could also lead a comfortable life even in the absence of both their parents.
After combining everything I came out with such an unrealistic figure that I couldn’t convince myself forget about convincing my Lord with it. Besides, I have one more list of personal works which needs to be short-closed immediately, say for example, due installments of my two flats, one car and personal loan; credit card payments; golf club, health club and social club’s membership fees and due installments of 20 years advance Holiday-package etc.
The whole night I could not sleep properly in my hotel room. I was only thinking about my family and it was so difficult to think of living alone without them and how will I survive of my own alone after my death, this was the biggest question of my life today. Secondly, I have also realized the mess I have created in my life which needs to be cleared immediately so that I could lead my life on daily basis, without keeping anything pending for my family, friends and relatives after my death.
Today, I have realized about those lessons I have learnt through a very hard way in my past life about, ambition, career, future and peaceful retirement life; all these things seemed to me baseless, irrelevant, meaningless, untrue and the ultimate truth remained the ‘Death’ the final destination, which was certain, definite, on-schedule and the final verdict of the Mother Nature which nobody, just nobody could deny or delay.
As soon as I saw Jagga’s mother, I don’t know why, I could not control myself and broke down in her feet and stared crying very loudly. She tried to console me but to no avail. As a matter of fact, I was very scared of dying and was not getting any assurance from the Lord for an extension of my lifespan. The more I thought about my death louder became my moaning. And with lots of affection, consolation and love Biji made me calm, quiet, comfortable, silent and at peace with myself, in-spite of losing her own son recently. Oh my Lord, why all the mothers are like her, so loving, so caring and so godly.
She insisted that I must have lunch with her but I could not eat any thing except a cup of tea; I don’t really know where my hunger disappeared. At that point of time, my only desire was to simply fly back home to be with my family because I didn’t exactly know how much time I was left with me and there were so many unfinished agenda and work left in front of me which had to be completed without any further delay so that even if I go, my family must not face any kind of problem and they live happily thereafter, even in my absence.
My dear friend Jagga was the patient of hypertension and he died of brain hemorrhage at such an early age of 50 plus. I am also having high blood pressure problem. Does that mean I will also …? No-no, how could it be? After all, my Lord couldn’t be so cruel and HE must have planned something different for my exit, I am sure of that, simply because my Lord is so perfect in all respect and HE never makes any mistake, come what may. And finally, I have to wait for my beloved angel of death with lots of patience and peace; but for how long it is anybody’s guess?
With Prayers
Gurcharan
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