My beloved wife had gone to Jamshedpur in the month
of June-2013 to look after her ailing mother who was suffering from acute liver
problem. Since then I was staying alone at my Gurgaon home without her physical
presence. In our married life of over thirty years, this was the first time
that my wife had stayed away from me for so long. After passing of each day my
staying alone in my own house became more and more difficult. Although my two
beautiful daughters were there and taking good care of me but the personal
touch of my wife was missing and so was her powerful persona. The vacuum was so
significant and apparent that it couldn't be ignored at all; and it
was crystal clear to me that this void could not to be filled by any other
person on this earth, except my wife, I am hundred percent sure about it now.
No doubt my daughters are the real proof of my
existence in this world but they came into my life only after my wife’s arrival
and I can say this without any hitch or hesitation that my dear wife is the
only person on this universe whose physical presence can make me a complete
man. I felt totally lost, incomplete in all respects and my creativity,
confidence, patience, persistence and positive thinking had been drained; my
understanding towards life went down with each passing day. It goes without
saying that she is my life-line and without her, my life is not at all moving
ahead, in short, it’s my wife who is the main inspiration of my life.
Although my daughters were very much here with me but still I just couldn't make myself happy and at peace with myself. I could see my better half’s signature all around my house, mind and soul. I can also say this much without an iota of any doubt that she has become my habit and it’s next to impossible to get rid of my old habits. I continue to seek her advice, guidance and instructions at the same time I also miss her interference, fights, care, concern and last but not the least her constant worry about my well being, which has repeatedly reminded me of her affection and love towards me.
I have also realized one more thing today that she loves me and my daughters very much but she loves her mother the most, of course she does. I don’t feel jealous, scared or threatened by this noble act of her dedication, devotion and love towards her mother. Frankly speaking, my respect towards her has become deeper and all of a sudden her personality became very tall in front of me. But still I am not at all feeling scared, insulted and ignored by her present behaviour. She deserved all the praise for her kindness and it’s obvious that there is no substitute of motherhood. Nobody can take mother’s place in this world because she is the first person in our lives who introduces us to this world. I came to know about my father through my mother only. I can make a statement without any doubt that I have not seen my Lord but I am sure HE must be like my mother only?
I can’t forget the day, when for the first time, I
met my mother-in-law, who had come to Calcutta to meet with us from Jamshedpur
along with her husband. She did not ask my salary or enquired about our
residential accommodation, whether it was our own house or rented? However, she
had already met two prospective boys for her daughter earlier on that day and I
was the third option in the row. She was looking for a suitable match for her
daughter who was then studying in school but due to the pressure from the
senior members of her family she wanted to finalize a suitable match for her
daughter. And her only condition was an educated boy who must be earning fairly
good salary and could take good care of her daughter.
I must say, that day was a very lucky day of my life because on that very day I got my first appointment letter from my employer. I showed the said letter to them but they simply returned without even looking at it and offered me their congratulations. I think that was the most important incident of my life that had turned the wheel of my life to a different direction altogether which has proven right at a much later date.
In-spite of being the mother of three grown up daughters my wife still looks very elegant simple, sober and very straight forward person. I can straight-away confess without any hesitation that from every aspect and angle she was much better person, daughter, wife, mother and a very nice human being as compared to me. There can be no comparison between two of us. It was our Mummy ji (My mother-in-law) who had influenced and convinced my wife to accept me as her husband without giving much consideration to my simple looks and not so developed personality; and I will never forget her far-sightedness in blessing my family.
Last year she had a paralytic attack and since then she could not stand up on her own feet. She was provided with all kind of medical help but no improvement was noticed in her condition. Gradually her diet also started dropping down drastically. In-spite of sincere efforts of the family she could not recover. And one day her family physician advised to admit her in the hospital so that all the necessary medical tests could be conducted on her.
On hearing about her mother’s deteriorating health
condition, finally on June-13, 2013 my wife along with her sister rushed to
Jamshedpur to look after her ailing mother. Mummy ji was admitted in the private hospital where the entire prescribed tests were conducted except one test
which was sent to Kolkata for final investigation and results. The said report
came after three days, as expected; the results of these tests were another big
shock to the family when the attending doctor announced with a very heavy heart
that she was suffering from lung cancer which was at an advanced stage. The
doctor advised the family to take the patient home, take good care of her and pray for her fast recovery.
Although it was very clear in the eyes of her
Doctors that in-spite of their best efforts nothing more could be done and she was discharged from the hospital to avoid their helplessness. After spending a week long in the
hospital, Mummy ji came back home. Meanwhile, she stopped communicating with
the family members any-more She also stopped taking solid food and was shifted
to liquid diets. Her health was going down day by day; simultaneously, her
pain was also increasing with each passing day.
One fine morning she
stopped taking the liquid diets also but her body was getting swelled, all her
clothes started bursting from the seams particularly from her stomach. A group
of senior Doctors were called again to check the new development which was very
alarming. And after the thorough check-up, they expressed their helplessness and
advised the family with a very heavy voice that her days were numbered and all
the family members should pray to God Almighty so that the patient can get
fastest relief from her existing pain which was not only very severe but
unbearable also. As expected, all the members of the family were continuously
offering their prayers but at the same time their eyes were over-flowing with
the unstoppable tears.
On the morning of June-26, Mummy ji started vomiting blood and she was immediately shifted to the hospital. All the resident doctors and nurses at the hospital were very sincere and they took all major steps under their control and tried everything possible to keep the patient alive. Finally on the fifth day, after long discussions with the medical fraternity at the hospital, they decided to put the patient on ventilator. While the nurse was planning to shift the patient to ICU our Mummy ji decided to take her last breath at around 3-PM on June-30, 2013 and she left us all alone without uttering a single word to anyone.
All of a sudden our Mummy ji had gone far, very far
away, leaving us all alone in this cruel world but she left with us her sweet
memories and a gave us a big relief that finally she was free from all her
agonies, pains and sufferings. We are sure our Mummy ji must be at peace and
residing in our Lord’s paradise; but she will always remain in our hearts
forever!
With Prayers
Gurcharan
Dear Mr. Gurusharan,
ReplyDeleteSo sad to read this.
May god give rest and piece in heaven to the departed soul your mother in law. She has lost her life courageously fighting against the lung cancer to her last breath. This is point where every body is helpless.
Also prey to the almighty God for giving courage and strength to her all the family members for bearing this great loss. Time is a great healing factor and slowly every thing will be normalise.
" Mother is known to be a second God on this universe. No one can the place of her. Needless to say that we all are knows her values. Father plays a different role, but Mother plays a very very differently role. Very hard to describe this. "
You have a deep love and respect for her. Your blog indicates this. You have describes the incident with a deep sorrow, emotions and paid your homage for her and family members.
Once again our tributes for the great departed soul.
Ashweani Bhandari & Family.
Indore.
Dear Sir,
ReplyDeleteWe pray for the departed soul for a rest in peace in heaven and enough strength for the family to bear loss.
Your blog covers 3 basic issues, Your Wife, Daughters and your Mother in Law.
I must appreciate, your frank opinion about everything but have a point to share with you.
Your internal and Pious feelings for your wife may not be understood by many as in today's world "RISHTEY" relationship between 2 individuals have become more materialistic and normally 2 individuals do not have Honest feeling of commitment for each other.
Let us pray for your wife and daughters as I wish if modern girls / boys take their relationship seriously without adding ego in between so that we all can have Happy and Meaningful life.
All the best.