Sometimes it needs lot of guts to say no!

I was in a meeting with one of our existing clients at Salt Lake City in Kolkata when I missed two calls on my mobile kept on silence mode. One was from Ms. JC, Executive assistance to Mr. R. K. Ghosh: the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of one multi-national-company (MNC) with head office at Kolkata: Ms. J. C. Thomas.

After an hour or so, when I got free, while driving back to office, I called back Ms. JC who picked up my phone on second ring. She sounded very desperate and tense over the phone. After some formal exchange of courtesies, she came to the point: “Mr. Ghosh wants to know your date of joining Sir, that’s why I called?” I told her that I would get back to them by the week-end and ended the call.

It all started a month back; when I got a call from one HR-Consultant regarding a suitable job opening for me in a very reputed MNC for a senior position, having seen my Bio-data on a job portal. I told him straight-forward that I was very happy with my present job and was not keen to change it, therefore politely turned-down his offer.

To my utter surprise, the HR-Consultant was very smart and kept insisting, motivating and requesting me to at least meet the prospective employer only once for a formal discussion. He also suggested that it would give me fairly good idea about the current trend in the job market and my present worth in the corporate world. And if by any chance, the offer did not suit me or seemed unattractive, I was free to simply walk away by turning down the offer, it was that simple. But I found that whatever the HR Consultant had suggested in the beginning was not correct, right and ethical, it all turned out to be a real problem in my professional and personal life rather than a solution.

Although I kept on postponing the meeting with the prospective employer but I could not find out a suitable exit from the present crisis. Finally, I had to accept the invitation with a very heavy heart. At the same time, the consultant was also very patiently arranging for alternative dates of interview by keeping my convenient day, date, time and venue accordingly.

Thereafter, last week, I got a call from the consultant informing me that the President of the prospective company was coming to Kolkata and would like to meet me on Saturday morning at Hotel Oberoi Grand located at J. L. Nehru Road, Kolkata, over breakfast. On Friday night at 9.00, Mr. R. K. Ghosh, the CEO, would talk to me over phone for a preliminary interview and he hung up without waiting for my consent.

I was wondering, why this was happening to me, when I had not forwarded my Bio-data to them; and then why they were so keen to meet me. Moreover, there is no dearth of good professionals in the market today as the ratio would be 1: 25 or more, then why me? This question kept bothering me for a very long time.

As per schedule, the CEO spoke to me over phone for about half an hour which ended with a positive note. The next day, as per schedule, I met with President too. Surprisingly, I got an offer letter by the same evening through e-mal. The offer was very nicely prepared and included higher position, good designation, handsome pay-package with an additional bonus, 15-day foreign trip immediately on joining, at their various manufacturing units all over Europe, USA, Canada and UK, for formal induction and preliminary training.

No doubt, the offer was very attractive indeed but still I was not convinced, not because I was afraid of change or accepting new challenges or I was not interested in earning more money, better career prospects, new platform where one could have immense potential of learning new management skills, tricks and tools along with totally new environment to work with and perform. In totality it sounded very challenging and full of excitement but still something very important was missing which I could not realize in the beginning.

At the same time, I was working for an Indian company, very happy with my present employment where I was doing a fairly good job, earning decent salary, enjoying my day-to-day work, enhanced my professional qualification, my colleagues were very co-operative, my team has been very dedicated and devoted and quite satisfied with my seniors’ attitude, they being very co-operative and always available for consultation, and the core strength of the management was its strong ethics and corporate policies, where besides clients the vendors, employees, environment, health and safety were also equally important considerations for the management’. And last but not the least; here I have been treated like a human being and not like worker or slave. I strongly feel and believe that I am serving under the management of the best, caring, decent, good, loving, warm and right kind of people, who never does any harm to their employees, clients, vendors, society, country, environment and Mother Nature, ever. I am sincerely working, fully enjoying, very happy and extremely satisfied with my present job, my seniours, work-culture, environment and atmosphere; so is my family.

Later I discussed this issue with my beloved wife, and after listening to the new job-proposal, she simply asked me one question: “Honey, you always treated your job as your second wife, now what happened, don’t you feel that it would be like separating from your second wife? Please answer me honestly?” I was taken aback with her very simple question, which of course, was very relevant at that point of time and also waked me up of my slumber. But I was having no ready answer with me.

Therefore, I started asking more probing questions to myself but in spite of my best efforts I could not find any valid reason and right answer which could convince me or motivate me to take up the new assignment against my present job. It was true that I was thinking more superficially rather than rationally about the present crisis but after giving a deep and serious thought, I felt more attached towards my present job, company and its location (Kolkata), for the first time I realized and understood that how much I loved my second wife.

And today, I got a call from Ms. JC asking me about the date of my joining with them. I was totally confused, disturbed and upset with myself. In the first place, I should not have accepted the proposal of the HR- Consultant. I knew, he was very aggressive, dominating, excited, enthusiastic and pushing type of professional but I should have behaved more rationally, firmly, maturely. I should not have shown any inclination or weakness towards any new job-assignment in the beginning. I know, it’s his job to influence prospective candidates for the new career-opportunity and prospects but that does not mean that I should have jumped in an unknown territory without giving serious thought. After all, it was related to my career, my family and future.

In short, accepting the proposal of the HR-Consultant was my first mistake, attending telecom interview was second, and going for the personal-interview was my third mistake. I should have taken a firm decision after weighing the pros and cons of the proposal and stick to that. No matter how big the offer was, if I didn’t want to change the job I should have enough guts to say a big no to them in the beginning itself.

Finally, the very next morning, I sent one regret letter to my prospective employer for not being able to serve them in this life time and also tendered my sincere apologies for all the inconvenience caused to them in this regard. Later, I also made a call to the HR-Consultant for all his help and assistance with a special request note appealing him not to send me any more interview calls in future or pester me again with another job-proposal.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

Sometime we land up at the wrong place, at the wrong time in the company of wrong people

I parked my car at parking zone opposite New Delhi railway station and rushed towards platform no. 14 to catch Shane-E-Punjab Express train. It was already 6.30 AM in the morning and the train’s scheduled departure time was 6.40-AM; since I had entered the station from Pahargunj side, it took me more than five minutes to reach platform no. 14. Thank God the train had not yet started but to my utmost surprise, after inspecting my ticket, the TTI informed me that the AC-Chair car Coach–C will be at the rear-end of the train and I must rush towards my coach. I started running towards my coach and started counting endless coaches and by the time I reached near my coach the train started moving slowly. I had just boarded the train, when someone shouted “Stop-stop” from behind. I looked back and saw one middle aged woman was running along the train but was not able to climb on to the coach because she was pulling one big trolley bag with her left hand and both her shoulders were occupied with laptop bag and big purse respectively on both sides. The train was still moving very slow, I just jumped down on the platform from the train, took her trolley bag and put it inside the coach and then took her laptop bag and literally pushed her into the train. Then I also boarded the train. Meanwhile, lots of people on the platform were simply standing and watching this drama but nobody came forward for any kind of assistance or help. Meanwhile, the train started moving faster towards Amritsar, the final destination of my journey.

I sat down on my seat and started reading my book. At Ambala Cant. station the train stopped and many vendors started moving around and offering, cold drinks, ice-creams, sandwiches, biscuits/potato-chips etc. Suddenly, I found one pantry boy handing me a packet of sandwich and 500 ml bottle of cold drink. I refused to accept it simply because I had not ordered it. But the vendor insisted me to take it but when I refused, he said: “Sahib, that Madam (who was sitting at the back) had paid for it and asked me to deliver it to you”. I got up from my seat, looked back and recognized her; she was the same lady who I helped in the morning to board this train. She folded both her hands and said: “Please accept it” I waived my hand back and said “Thank you” in appreciation.

At Ludhiana station, my adjacent seat got vacant and after few minutes I saw her standing next to my seat smiling; she asked me in Bengali: “Can I sit here?” I replied with a smile to have that seat. After taking the seat, she folded both her hands and wished me and pronounced her name: “Dr. Sutopa Sanyal”. I also reciprocated in the same manner giving brief introduction of mine. She asked me very hesitantly: “How do you know that I am a Bengali and by the way, how come you speak Bengali so fluently?” She asked me two questions in a row. I told her about the three types of bangles (Iron, Shakha and Paula) she was wearing which only Bengali married women wore, besides at Delhi station she was talking to herself in Bengali and as regards me knowing Bengali well, since I was born and brought up in Calcutta, by default, I learnt this beautiful language. I also told her that I could speak and read Bengali fluently but I can’t write; moreover, I also told her about my favourite Bengali Authors and their books.

She was amazed to know about my keen interest about Bengali culture, customs, language, literature and people. Thereafter we both started talking to each other in Bengali language; and all other co-passengers of the compartment were looking at us in great surprise.

Dr. (Mrs.) Sutopa Sanyal, 40 plus of age, was an MBBS, MD in gynecology from very reputed Medical College of Kolkata. At present she was a senior surgeon and visiting faculty at all the top Medical Colleges and Hospitals of North India. She was having her own Nursing Home in South-Delhi. Her husband was working in a Private sector Bank and presently posted as Chief Manager at Amritsar main branch. She was forced to stay at Delhi because of her job and commitment towards her profession. At the same time, she was having very big, satisfied and rich clientele base in Delhi, who always wanted her to be available to them for consultations. She has got her parental house in Delhi where she was staying presently with her aged parents and her husband was staying all alone in Amritsar in Bank-leased-Bungalow, for last one month. She took three days' leave from her work so that she could be with her husband, because he was not well. He was diabetic with hypertension and lately had also developed breathing problem.

I could make out that she is not happy in her life. Although she was trying to pretend that she is very happy, satisfied and enjoying her life to the fullest but her big beautiful black eyes were telling a different story altogether. She was five feet four inches tall, with very slim and very fair complexion. But the dark black spots below her eyes were very prominent, which were telling another story. Meanwhile, she started working on her laptop and was answering questions to her patients for ten minutes and later looked at me and asked me: “Are you married?” I told her with a big smile: “Of-course I am married and blessed with three beautiful daughters; the elder one is already married, second one is working as a school teacher and the third one is an engineering student”.

She was looking at me in total disbelief and was almost shocked and surprised and she asked me very hesitantly: “How old are you?” I politely told her my age but she could not believe it. Anyway, later our discussions progressed towards my wife, my daughters, my job, my travel and my favourite books. But, through-out the journey she did not utter a single word about her family and intentionally, I also did not ask questions about them. But I don’t know why, she was trying her level best to control her emotions, feelings, sentiments and last but not the least her tears and she became successful also in controlling her emotions in front of a stranger. She could not hold her secret for long and finally confessed with wet eyes in sad voice: “I have been given a task to give children to every deserving woman but see my tragedy; I have not been blessed with a single child of my own though I have been instrumental in making many women mothers. At-least, I have one consolation in my life that I have helped many women who could not conceive or produce a healthy child initially but with the blessings and grace of God Almighty, I have been successful in my job of helping them to have babies; today I have only one mission in life to do my best in helping as many women to become mothers as possible. So that they can have their due respect and regard in being a complete woman and a respected Mother in our society”.

We reached Amritsar Station at 2.15-PM. While moving outside the platform, I offered her a lift up to her house before going to my hotel. She wanted to go to Lawrence road where her husband had rented out a new bungalow. I hired an auto rickshaw and we both proceeded towards her new house. It was not very far off place from the station and we reached Mr. Sanyal's house within fifteen. After dropping at her house, I wanted to bid good-bye to her but she insisted that I must come inside and meet her husband, who would be very happy to meet with me. I could not refuse her request and followed her.

She rang the bell of her house twice but nobody opened the door and in panic she started calling her husband’s name first slowly and later very loudly. After five minutes or so, he opened the door and was literally shocked to see us both standing in front of him. She started shouting on him and asking for the reason of the delay in opening the door. He was standing in silence looking like a statue without speaking a word. He told us to come inside first and took out a water bottle from the fridge and gave it to her. He must be in his early-fifties, with a very fair, heavy and tall figure. This man (Mr. Subrata Sanyal) in a glance did not seem like the husband of Dr. (Mrs.) Sutopa Sanyal’s from any angle.

Suddenly we saw one very young, beautiful, smart woman coming out of the bedroom and rushing straight out of the room without looking at us or uttering a single word. Dr. Sutopa looked at me in dismay first and then at her husband as if she was going to burn him alive with her naked eyes. Mr. Subrata Sanyal took her luggage inside and started explaining to his wife in Bengali. But within no time, I saw Dr. Sutopa broke down and cried very loudly. It was tough for me to calm her and bring the situation under control. And then she started shouting in much louder voice: “You know something, I could not become a mother, not because I was not capable of bearing a child but because he was not a man capable enough to make me a mother but still I accepted his weakness without any regret but see today what he was doing to me. He informed me only yesterday that he was not keeping well and that he was taking a few days sick leave to recuperate. Worried I was and came rushing today to see him and to be with him but for what, to see his real face with my own eyes that too in the presence of my new friend”.

She sat down on the floor of the house and started crying uninterruptedly. I was standing at one corner of the room and her husband at another side. We both were in a dilemma being total strangers but today at this very moment we both were standing at the wrong place, at the wrong time in the company of wrong people.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

Sailing with the Tides

It was half past ten o’clock in the night and I had not yet crossed Karnal bypass on national highway. I was returning home from Patiala alone and that day being a Sunday, night traffic was not heavy, but due to the six-lane highway constructions between Panipat and Jalandhar cities, there were lots of diversions on the national highway number-one. I was driving very much within the speed limit of 90-KMPH and suddenly a dumper-truck loaded with stone chips stopped in front of my car and in spite of applying the brakes; I could not avoid the collision and hit the truck with a big bang. My car’s front-half portion was smashed very badly and gone inside the dumper; simultaneously the car-engine caught fire.

I was rather surprised that the car was burning, my body was profusely bleeding with deep injuries and wounds but I was not feeling any pain; how come? I could not make-out what was happening to me. In between lots of people had gathered at the accidental site, some people were running around and trying to put the fire off and few of them were working very hard to take out my body in one piece from the damaged car.

Suddenly, I saw an old man around sixty years of age, tall, fair, well-built, wearing very peculiar dress of an old Hindu god loaded with lots of gold and silver ornaments. He was wearing diamond earrings and golden crown which was studded with multiple gems and jewels. He was carrying one gold stick in his left hand and one book in his right hand. I could also see one chariot adorned with two very beautiful white horses standing next to the spot of the accident.

He looked like a very matured, peaceful and respected Angel (Dev-purush) and I saw him coming towards me. He extended his right hand to me and simply pulled me out from the car-window without any hurdle or hindrance. I came out in one piece standing next to him but I was literally shocked when I looked back and saw myself still sitting in that damaged car? I was surprised with wonders and questioning myself, am I dead? The person who was standing next to me, was the representative of Yamraj (God of Deaths) who had come to take me along to the paradise?

I was unable to draw any conclusion when the old man said: “Don’t worry my son, this was the time and place of our first meeting, and I am happy that we met just in time, you see; I am Yaksha Dev, my son”. I folded both my hands and bowed my head in respect and offered my Pranams, but simultaneously asked him: ”I thought, you must have come from Yamalok?” He immediately interrupted me in between and said: “No my son, I have come from Paradise. Remember, you often used to talk with me, whenever you were alone and you had asked me thousands of questions and I have also tried to give you my answers through various modes, means and methods from time to time but today, when you were calling your late father for help repeatedly, who had left you ten years back, I could not control myself and decided to come and meet you personally; that’s why I came running at this place to see you in-person so that we can talk face to face. I am willing to answer all your pending questions once for all; may be, after listening to my replies, it will quench your long lasting thrust and you will finally become calm quiet and at peace with yourself, my son”.

He was still holding my hand and we started walking towards his chariot and after making me sit he took his place and said: “Start with your questions my son, I am listening?” I was almost in a panic and was about to collapse seeing all this happening. I was wondering if he had brought that accident just to meet with me, in which my car got badly damaged and I didn’t know whether I will be back in one piece or not. On top of it, he was saying that he had come to see me and offer his help in solving my problems by providing accurate, correct and the right answers to my various unresolved questions? But was he really crazy, mad or insane, how could he do such horrible things to me and play with my life like this. Moreover, who gave him this right to interfere in my life, at the first place, damn it, who he thinks himself to be?

He said with a very warm smile: “I don’t need anybody’s permission to move around. It’s my decision, desire and wish, when, where and how will I reach my next destination. Therefore, don’t waste time on irrelevant things and start asking questions, my son, you are running out of time: come on now start, I am listening?”

What question, I don’t want to ask him any question; as a matter of fact, I don’t have any question, in fact I don’t remember any questions right now. I didn’t know what was happening to my mind and when I looked back and checked in my memory bank, I could see only a clean slate and not a single question was written on it. Some how, I tried to remember few questions with lots of efforts but without any success, nothing came alive in my mind as if I never had any questions in my life at the first place.

I have just fixed up my daughter’s marriage for October this year; I have to send my younger daughter for M. Tech. in Information Technology coming July; besides I have to admit my wife to the hospital for her sciatica treatment; my mother has to go for cataract operation ensuing summer and finally, I have to be at the services of my Rehnuma and Saheb ji, once again because I have promised them that I would come back and serve them in this life time.

I also have to meet my very dear friend in-person for the first time after so many years and last but not the least, I have to complete my book before the end of this year. So many things are pending, tell me my Lord, how can I die now; no-no, I can’t afford death at this very moment. I think there must be some kind of mistake at your end, may be some confusion at your office; there are so many people with similar names alive on this earth. Moreover, in my Punjabi community, even the father’s name is also similar and matching. Therefore, please check your records once more, thoroughly and then send a messenger; please for God’s sake, it’s my humble request to you, my Lord.

How can you be so careless, casual and callous, no you can’t commit such mistakes, my Lord, not at all, you cannot afford to make such blunders? You know very well that such matters have to be dealt with extra care, concern, caution and very precisely; after all, it’s a question of someone’s life and death, you can’t be so casual and careless, my Lord? I just want to remind you that you can’t be wrong in your calculation at the first place, it’s a serious issue and offense my Lord. I am sorry, but you can’t have this luxury, no chance, no-way my beloved God?

This kind of senseless and stupid conversation was going on in my mind and the Yakasha Dev was sitting just in front of me, very cool, calm and quiet. He was staring at me with his big, deep and sharp eyes. Finally he said: “Whatever is going-on in your mind right now is all created by you and to be more precise, it’s your illusion, misconception, notion and your own wishes that all the things should happen in your life the way you think right, but my son, life is not predictable, neither is it science nor mathematics. You can’t predict two plus two four all the time, but in real life it can be three or sometimes five also.

Nevertheless, I have seen you driving your boat always against the wind-pressure and flow of water; wasting your precious energy, efforts and time by sailing in opposite direction, which is very much against the nature. Please don’t do it, be with the Mother Nature, go and swim with the tide, pull-up all the anchors and the mainsail from your boat and let it be free from all corners, concerns and conditions, sail it free from all the fears and allow the boat to swim with the wind and you simply sit silently on the boat and just be a witness, just be non-committal and let the boat sail with the tide, and flow just flow with the wind, let it go, wherever the flow of water takes you, don’t stop for God-sake, just go with the flow. Surrender yourself in HIS hands and you will find yourself landed at the destination without any difficulty or struggle, trust me”.

“As a matter of fact, you will find the destination very closer to your place, but you were unnecessarily sailing in the opposite direction through-out your life, hence this lead to confusion, chaos, delay and total mess in your life. Although you were moving ahead in your journey of life, but in real terms not towards the ultimate destination; instead it was just quite contrary, as a matter of fact, with each step taken forward you were actually going two steps backward”.

He further said: “Therefore, just relax and accept his verdict happily you will always get HIS indications and instructions, just try to listen and understand his signals and you will find your life-boat sailing easily, smoothly and trouble free. You always thought that you were sitting behind the wheel of  your life-vehicle and can steer your life as per your dreams, desires and wishes but my son, the fact remains that you have always reached at the wrong place at the wrong time with wrong people, so to say; where you never wanted to be at the first place; and it becomes more frustrating when you don’t exactly know how to get back-home. You are still hunting that place which could be simply your illusion, wild goose chase or a stupid idea. Therefore, stop pretending, that you were the master of your life. Let the real Master do HIS job the way HE thinks it fit, fine and right. Therefore, don’t come in-between and create any hindrance, obstruction, problem and simply obey his instructions; stop resisting without raising any objections or question and you will be surprised to see all your problems resolved within no time and you will find yourself amalgamated, mixed and submerged with the universe; the way HE wants you to be, it is that simple, my son, welcome abode!”

Suddenly I found myself being pulled out of the bed and I woke up. It was my wife shouting: “Please get up, it is already 7 O'clock in the morning and you are getting late for the office”. I woke up with a jerk and found myself still alive and kicking!!! Was I dreaming? Oh no-no, but was it a dream? But if yes, then indeed a very good revealing dream! Thank you my Lord and thank you Yaksh-Dev for all the assistance, guidance and help. I bow my head once again for such a nice sojourn with you. Come again Yaksh Dev, I shall be anxiously looking forward for your visit soon, very soon, my Lord!!!

With prayers

Gurcharan

Few Unanswered Questions?

I was returning home after completing my last call of the day from Bawal Industrial Area, Haryana when I got a call on my mobile phone from an unknown number. Since I was driving on Delhi-Jaipur national highway, I could not take the chance to attend the call and disconnected it. Within next three minutes, I got five missed calls from the same number. Therefore, when it rang for the 6th time, I parked my car at the roadside and accepted the call and said: “Hello, who is this?” in response I heard my nick name spoken in a very heavy voice but I could not recognized the caller. He again said: “Charan, you have forgotten me, my friend? It’s me, your old friend Ramandeep Singh Grover from Calcutta”.

I got the biggest shock of my life, my childhood friend Raman, all of a sudden a very tall, thin, fair and handsome Raman’s figure came alive in front of my eyes and all the old memories started pouring into my heart and mind, one after another within flash of few seconds. In excitement, I even forgot to ask him his whereabouts instead I said: “where had you been all these years Raman, what a pleasant surprise, where are you calling from, my dear friend?” I asked so many questions in one go. He informed me that, he came in the morning to meet his client at Delhi and at present he is waiting at Delhi International Airport, his flight to New York City will take-off at mid night and therefore he wanted to spend some good time with me at the airport. Before disconnecting he told me that he got my mobile no. from my younger brother, who lives in Calcutta.

It almost took two hours to reach at the airport and after parking my Car I rushed towards the departure zone of Terminal-3 of the Delhi International Airport. I was frantically looking for Raman at the departure lounge but could not see him. I was about to call him on his mobile when a very bulky, fatty and a very heavy statured person tapped on my back; when I turned my back, I was literally amazed, stunned and shocked to see Raman in this condition, posture, position and status. Oh my God, is he my old friend Raman, what happened to him, he has put on lot of weight, must be weighing 100-KG plus with excess fat on his face, neck, hands, legs and tummy. But his face was having very bright smile and his nose, eyes, lips and cheeks were shining in the bright red color. He was wearing Gucci platinum frame with very thick bifocal pair of power glasses, Rolex-datejust watch, Montblanc pen, Louis-Philippe shirt & pair of trousers, Carton shoe and was holding in his hands ipad-2, Galaxy notebook and Blackberry mobile phone. Besides he was also wearing big diamond ring and gold bangle in his right hand.

His Samsonite-briefcase and American-tourister suitcase was laying besides him on the Airport-trolley. He was holding two soft drink cans in his hands and after hugging he was still holding me in his hands, he was staring at me and also laughing uninterruptedly. Meanwhile, he offered me one can of soft drink. Raman wanted me to go with him at the nearby Bar for few hard drinks but I refused by saying that, I didn’t take hard drinks or beer; after lots of arguments, we finally settled for coffee shop at the airport lounge.

We both completed our graduation in the same year and thereafter started our professional career in two different companies. He went to a healthcare unit and joined an automobile sector in Calcutta. We both were very good friends but we were poles apart to each other from all angles, aspects and aspirations. We were having different views in life towards everything ranging from our ambition, belief, dreams, goal, habits, hobbies, likes, ideals, love, dislikes, tastes, thought process, target, views and value system. He never believed in destiny, luck, love and religion, whereas, my day used to start with morning prayers at Gurudwara and it used to conclude with the last prayer of the day in one of the temples. We were a group of four friends who were regular on these places of worship except Raman who never used to accompany us at these places.

His rationale for not doing that used to be: “Only coward, lethargic and weak persons visit such places and wait for the miracles to happen in their lives. Such temples are flooded with cowards, defeated, defaulters and pessimistic people who does not want to face the world with their own caliber, capabilities, grit, power and strength instead they prefer taking short cuts to achieve success in their lives hence they take shelter at such religious places for comfort, safety, security and sympathy. The destiny and religious formalities are meant for disabled, destitute, poor, sick and weaker segment/section of our society who lacks confidence, courage and conviction to face the world with their own terms and conditions.

My friend Raman got whatever he wanted in his life but against a very heavy price. And to achieve his pre-set goals and objectives he exercised all the formulae, modes, methods, power, tools, strategies and schemes which he acquired and learned during the journey of his life. He never got scared of anyone and did what he felt was right at that point in time. He had no regrets in his life, so far. He became an entrepreneur at the age of 32. He was running a Healthcare company with the overall strength of 150 employee and a group turnover of Rupees 250 crores plus, having branches in all metro and mini metro cities of India besides five overseas branches abroad. He has divorced his wife few years back and having only one son as a family, who has completed his MBA from Stanford University, California, USA. At present looking after overseas operations of his company based at New York City.

His Branch Head of North zone draws more salary and owns bigger car than me. He has built a big Bungalow in Calcutta besides a farm house in the outskirts of Calcutta, having all the big brand of cars which includes: Audi, BMW and Mercedes. He visits abroad almost every second month for business and merry-making. His wife, after separation, lives with her parents at London; she visits India once a year during winter season to meet her only son.

I am finding myself in an absolute mess and confused state of mind. For few seconds, I felt as if my Life is going out of my hands. I was standing at a cross road of my life where right or wrong, Good or bad, Holy or evil makes no impact, impression and relevance on my day to day affairs/activities, any more. I have seen many of my relatives, friends and well wishers doing extremely well in their personal and professional life and earning lots of money and having fun-filled lives; they do everything possible with the money power, they go to discothèque, keep many social friends, enjoy late-night parties and don’t mind making easy/fast money. But I have never done any of these activities in my life. Earlier I could not afford it and later when I became capable of buying such luxuries, my ideal, principles and value systems came in between and restrained me to step forward on that road with a very Big-NO.

During our long conversation at coffee shop, he asked me few very probing questions: “Whether I still believe in my ideals, principles, value system and living under same age old rules, orthodox views, keeping conservative approach and living disciplined life under pre-set rules and regulations. He even asked me about my religious activities and thoughts”. At the end, he also asked me few very personal questions: “Have I ever tried hard-drinks or drugs? How many social friends I have in my life and finally: How much wealth I have generated for myself and my family??

Although I could easily answer all his questions with facts and figures but I preferred to keep quiet for the time being. He had already declared me an emotional fool and categorically told me that I was unnecessarily carrying weight of middle class etiquettes on my head. I was hundred percent confident that he will again abuse me, laugh and shout at me after listening to my straight forward, frank and honest answers, explanations and views. But I wanted this discussion to end with a happy note because; I was not sure whether we will meet again. But in this process, he has definitely disturbed peace of my mind and had literally engulfed me with his so called philosophy, principal and views of his modern-life-style.

For the time being, I stopped thinking, looked around and evaluated his philosophy with an open-mind, more logically, practically and rationally and within few minutes, I came to the conclusion that every person is free to live his life the way he thinks right, belief and trust and I am nobody to put any condition or question-mark on the authenticity, legitimacy, sincerity and sanctity of their philosophy of life, per say.

Therefore, I took a deep breath and within seconds I came back to my normal-self and in original form with the help and assistance of my will power, inner voice, strength and blessings of my Lord. I firmly believe in ethics, ideals, middle-class-etiquettes, principles and value system which were so strong that it has pulled me out of this dilemma and severe crisis without much hassle, hurdle and problem. Otherwise, I would have been in a real mess and could have been standing at such a cross road in a fix, which route to follow. Moreover, neither I have the interest nor any inclination to think otherwise at that very moment, I am honest about it.

But deep down in my heart, I know that I have got much more than all the materialistic life that he has been leading, everything so elegant, costly show pieces, and a wealthy look to show off. But a person like me who is at peace with himself will know and only feel sorry and sympathize with him that all his life was spent amassing the wealth, which no doubt brings material comforts that life can offer but gradually spent in maintaining physical health. But the actual freedom, peace, salvation and true wealth is available within us. We have to simply start inner-journey in order to reach our destination. So that we can become the part and parcel of the Supreme-Power, where our existence becomes non-entity and with the blessings of the God Almighty, we amalgamate with the Supreme-power and get released from the cycle of birth and death forever, Amen!

With prayers

Gurcharan

Please forgive me for the last time

We all are truly blessed by the God Almighty because today at last the great festival of colours called “HOLI” has come and we are going to enjoy, play, participate, see and witness this grand Holi festival along with all our family members, friends and relatives.

But I am going to miss the blessings of my Father who has left me alone in this world, long time back. On every Holi he used to wake me up in the morning so that I can get ready and go to my friends place and play Holi with them in different colours and enjoy the festival thoroughly.

I am also going to miss my older daughter who has got married two years back and settled down with her husband at a far of place. I know she is not with us to enjoy it today but I am sure she must be enjoying the Holi festival with her new family. May God bless her?

I am also going to miss some very close and dear friends who have left me alone one after another in this cruel world and today I am all alone without a single friend of mine because of my attitude, arrogance, anger, ego, high-headedness and proud behavior which must have hurt them really deep, very deep, I am sure of that.

I have also realized one more thing that now the time has come in my life to grow up and behave like a matured man and a perfect gentleman. I must not forget the basic courtesy, etiquettes and decency while talking with my family members, relatives and friends, no matter how close he or she is to me; I have no right what-so-ever to cross the limit of decency at any cost and in any given situation.

Therefore, I must not forget my border-line and I should behave adequately with them; keeping both my eyes and ears open and I should never ever cross my limits (A boarder-line of decency finalized by my family in particular and society at large).

I should always bear my rule book in my heart and check every time before speaking or writing in responses and at the same time keep watchman’s sharp eyes and vigil on myself so that whenever I am going to cross my limits, I should be warned by my inner-voice and should behave properly with them.

Today I want to thank very dear friend of mine for not only showing my actual face in the mirror but also informed me in writing about my draw backs, faults and wrong doing, even at this age. At-least, she has been very kind and modest to spell out my weaknesses, draw-backs and short-comings in a very soft, decent and polished manner. She is the third most important person in my life (after my Mother and Wife) who has truly acted like my true friend, well wisher and come up with those facts which were inherent in me but nobody ever told me in black and white, so upfront and without any hitch or hesitation. I am really-really very grateful to her. May God bless her too?

I am indeed indebted to her for this kind gesture, which will definitely help and assist me in becoming a better person in all respects in rest of my life. I am crystal clear in my mind today about the negative characteristics of mine, because the same negative attitude will have indirect impact on my mind, body and soul and I may simultaneously react beforehand again, as I have done it in the past too.

Therefore, I will not allow the negative forces to influence and malign my mind and heart again and I will not presume things but read only what I am supposed to read, not a word more and nor less, just on the dotted lines, precise and to the point, which I am supposed to read.

At the same time, I don’t want to mistake it wrongly or come up with my own conclusions, meanings, outcomes, and end-results, unnecessarily. I wanted to be fair, very fair in understanding the whole situation the way it should be, which has gone out of proportion, out of control and now became larger than life issue in front of me today. Instead of drawing my own biased conclusions, if require, I will not hesitate to ask them for clarifications, without any hitch or hesitation.

I don’t have many good friends in my life and I am so lonely and alone in this entire world. This crisis is self created, it’s due to my high-headedness, rude behavior and negative attitude which might have broken many hearts in the past and I have never ever realized it till date. Now I can clearly see through and visualize what could have happened to them that they left me all alone in this universe.

Today, with the help and assistance of an Angel, I have realized about my wrong doings, my sins and my mistakes, what all I had done to them in general and to my very dear friend in particular, she was so beautiful, caring, charming, decent, good, humble, kind, loving woman with lots of self respect. She suffered a lot but never uttered a single word and silently left me alone in this big, bad and ugly world.

No, I am not joking, I know the damage has been done and it can’t be cured, repaired or rectified. If I have committed a blunder, mistake and sin; its better, I must accept my mistake also with the same dignity, decency and honour of a perfect gentleman.

I also know for sure, simply by saying sorry will not heal their wounds which have been given to them by me. Therefore, I have decided to ask for forgiveness in your court. Now it’s up to you to pronounce the verdict, guilty or not guilty, which I will accept with dignity, gratitude, humbleness and respect.

Therefore, I would like to request all of you with both my folded hands to please pardon me my mistakes and accept my sincere apology if knowingly or unknowingly I have hurt your feelings, trust me, my intention was not to take someone else’s place, position or space in your respective lives.

As it is, I am suffering from someone’s curse since long, a very long time (more than 35 years have passed since I was loaded with the said cross on my shoulders and still carrying it). It’s my bad-luck that I have not been absolved of that curse till date and I just can’t afford to have another person’s anger, hatred, and curse for the rest of my life.

I know for sure you all are too good, very decent, gentle, honest, nice and sensible human beings; who loves their families very much. Some of you must be dedicated couples, devoted parents and loving brother/sisters. I have very high regards for all of you and your family members.

At the end, I wish all of you a very Happy Holi and once again tender my sincere apologies for all my past mistakes, high headedness, stupidities, rude behaviors and wrong-doings. I pray to you and to the God Almighty to please forgive me for the last time on this great festival of colours Holi and scatter these beautiful colours in my life once again, Amen!

With prayers

Gurcharan

A Friend who came into my life as an Angel

I reached at Indira Gandhi International Airport, New Delhi around 12.30 p.m. in the afternoon to receive Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin who was coming by the Air India flight number: AI-188 from Toronto-Canada. The flight had already landed right on time at the airport but surprisingly the passengers had not yet started coming out from the arrival exit gate of the airport. I got great relief to know that I was not late. Therefore, I started waiting at the exit gate number six of T3 terminal of the new international airport. Approximately after half an hour the passengers started coming out; first the crowd of Dubai flight came out followed by London flight and at the end the passengers of Toronto flight started coming.

I have never seen my guest: “Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin” before but I don’t know why I was very sure about my instinct and was over confident that I shall be able to recognize her as soon as she comes in front of me. As expected, she was coming out along with a trolley loaded with two big suitcases and one large carry bag. And to my utmost surprise, she also recognized me without any problem and walked straight towards me. She was tall, fair, good looking, having bulky figure with very sharp features; she embraced me as if she knew me from ages. I don’t know when we both started laughing and suddenly became very emotional and sentimental; in between both of us have very successfully wiped our tears so that nobody can see us crying; thereafter, we moved towards the parking zone where my car was parked.

On our way home, she started asking questions about my wife and daughters. I requested her to have some patience and once we are at home, she can ask any number of questions to them directly and she will get all the answers from them.

My dear friend Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin was a non-resident-Indian, 50 years old, settled at Canada, working as an English teacher, married to Mr. Surinder Bhasin 55 years old, businessman with two grown up kids [the Son-Kunal Bhasin was 28 years old, B.TECH (Mechanical) working and in an automobile co. The daughter-Kavita Bhasin was 20 years old and first year MBBS student of Canada's reputed medical college].

Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin was a regular reader of my blogs and a very strong critic. She always used to be the first one to respond with an unbiased feedback. She continues to write about her honest and frank opinion/views on regular basis. I have never met her before in person and I have never thought of meeting her personally. Moreover, she was a loyal and dedicated reader of my blogs and that was more than sufficient for me.

I never expected anything more from this distant relationship. But yes, I was always looking forward for her comments very anxiously and eagerly. The curiosity to know more about her was very much there at the back of my mind but somehow, I could not muster enough courage, guts and strength to ask about her past directly. But she knew every thing about me by virtue of reading all my blogs which were based on my life’s true incidents.

I don’t know how, when and why she became a very good friend of mine and she gradually started telling me about her part of the story in installments. I sometimes used to feel very astonished, surprised even shocked, how come a person of her caliber and status could have so much faith in a stranger; it was unimaginable, unheard of and totally unwarranted to do so.

This very quality in her has impressed and inspired me a lot and I became more inclined towards her friendship and gradually she became very true friend of mine. Although, we don’t have any kind of personal or professional relationship between us but today I can say with confidence that my God Almighty is very kind to me that I got HIS blessings in the form of her friendship. And over the period, she has become very close, honest, real, true friend, philosopher and guide of mine.

First time such things have happened in my life, at this age of 50 plus, which was not under my control and I was sitting at the receiving end. She has never asked for any personal commitment, favour or promises from me and our relationship was purely based on an “Emotional-human-bondage” which was Holy, Honest and Pure, if I could say so. She never wanted me to give any verbal or written commitment and at the same time, she has never ever asked for any assistance, help and support from me. Our friendship was purely based on trust that too without any conditions and promises.

I don’t know whether the long distance relations can really work and for how long, but it remains a big surprise even today that how far we will be able to sustain and continue with this so called long distance relationship between us. Till date, I have not faced any problem whatsoever in this regard. I have never thought even in my dreams that I will actually meet her one day in person. And see, with the blessing of my Lord, she has already landed in India today and we are moving towards our home together.

I have told my wife and daughters only last night about Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin and her trip to India. I also told them that she will be staying with us for a couple of days before moving towards her parental house at Jalandhar. They did not say anything on my face but they must be having lot of questions about our relationship, which I may have to answer tomorrow, I am sure of that.

After formal introduction with my wife and daughters, she opened her big suitcase and took out lots of gifts for each and every member of our family. And in the evening, she called me and my wife together and requested us to sit in front of her. She told us in a very reluctant voice that she and her husband Mr. Surinder Bhasin wanted my second daughter for her son. I could not follow what she meant actually? I requested her to define her objective, motive and purpose in clear terms.

After seeing my curiosity and excitement she clarified: “We want your daughter to marry our son Kunal Bhasin, if it’s alright with you?” I was totally shocked and surprised to hear her proposal. I don’t know what to say and what not to say at this point in time, I was almost confused, I never thought even in my dreams that she would propose something like that.

Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin was very matured and sensible lady and understood our anxiety and dilemma without much difficulty and problem, she requested us not to worry at all. It’s her family’s unanimous decision and that’s why she came to meet with us and also talked about the marriage proposal of her son. As a matter of fact, Mr. Surinder Bhasin also wanted to come and meet us but due to an official urgency he had to cancel his trip.

She told us every thing about her family members in general and her son in particular. She also showed us her family photographs along with her son’s bio-data. She brought with her a family video showing her family members and her multi-storied mansion.

We both were in a shocking state of affair to hear about our daughter’s marriage proposal from an honourable guest. My wife was also puzzled and in entire state of confusion but she acted very maturely and told Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin with gratitude and great humbleness that: “Our daughter is doing her Post-graduation in Political Science, later she will do M.ED followed with PhD. Moreover, we never thought of sending our daughter abroad for marriage. Therefore, we need some more time to think on this proposal”.

I don’t know what to say to Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin. She kept her cool; heard everything patiently as a matured and sensible lady and accepted our point of view without any hitch or hesitation. At the end of our conversation, she told us not to worry about any thing; our daughter’s safety, security and well beings will be her first priority. She requested us to think on her proposal more logically, positively and rationally. We should also discuss it with our daughter and take her consent as well, after all it’s her life and her decision shall be final on this proposal. She was even ready to send her son to meet our daughter also, subject to our approval. She will fly back after a fortnight and she want us to covey our decision accordingly.

On the face of it she was behaving normally and patiently but she was trying very hard to control her emotions, I was also not in a position to say anything which could further escalate the situation and hurt her feelings.

Therefore I kept quiet for the time being; at the same time I was not very comfortable, happy and satisfied with the whole episode. I knew it for sure, either way; I am going to lose my best friend, who came into my life as an Angel.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

All of us were blessed by Baba ji

I boarded Gitanjali express train from Jamshedpur Station in the evening; I was having reservation in AC-II coach with confirmed reservation for a lower berth whereas I was very keen to have an upper berth. Two men and one woman passengers were sitting on the lower berths facing each other and they were travelling from Howrah, the station of origin.

Before I could request one of the passengers to switch the seat the lady sitting besides the window seat looked at me with a smiling face and said: “Would you mind taking upper berth please; I would like to stay at the lower-berth, if it’s alright with you?” I was more than happy to honour her request, which was quite obvious. Therefore, I immediately shifted my soft luggage on the upper berth and settled down at the lower seat along with other co-passengers and I started reading my book.

The pantry-service-boy started serving dinner to the passengers after 8.00 o’clock sharp but I was not feeling hungry as yet; therefore, I immediately made a request to the delivery boy to serve my dinner after ten p.m. He simply took back my food-tray. After listening to my instructions, the other co-passengers also made a similar request and told the pantry boy to bring their food around ten p.m. and we all started laughing looking at each other.

The person sitting next to me was around fifty years of age, very fair complexioned and had tall and bulky physique. He was wearing brown colour Salwar-kameek, black colour Peshawari sandals and was carrying small white towel, which he kept on his right arm and he used to rub his face every fifteen minutes with his small towel as a habit and I realized he was actually sweating profusely.

He started his conversation with Urdu mixed Hindi language and asked me where I am heading for. I told him that I was going for interview at Nagpur and would return the next day evening. In order to continue our conversation further, I also enquired about his destination. He was waiting for an opportunity to communicate with me. Therefore he started answering my questions in details. He told me about his family, business and Nagpur city without any hitch or hesitation as if he knew me since ages. His was known as Salim Bhai Fruitwala (a reputed and respected fruit-merchant from Calcutta). He used to take Bananas and Oranges fruits gardens on lease during seasonal spell. In this trip, he was supposed to go to Nasik first and arrange the shipment of Bananas to Calcutta market and later will come down to Nagpur and do the supervision-work on his Orange gardens for few days and at the end of the month will return home. He was having three daughters and one son and all of them were studying in Calcutta.

I was visiting Nagpur for the first time to attend an interview. I asked Salim Bhai about the importance and distinctiveness of Nagpur city. He told me with great excitement about Taj-Baba ji Ki Mazar at Taj-Bagh in Nagpur and he spoke with lots of gratitude, reverence and respect about Baba ji. All the good things which had happened in his life so far were all due to the blessings of Baba ji; right from the birth of his only son after three daughters and his flourishing fruit-business; and the second most famous thing were Oranges of Nagpur city.

I asked him very hesitantly, whether I would be allowed to pay my respects at Baba ji’s Mazar because of my Punjabi background? He instantly told me not to worry at all about any thing because: “Lord’s doors are open for every one all the time”. He requested me to pay a visit at His Mazar and all my prayers will be answered by Him without any doubt and delay. Moreover, all the Saints and Religious gurus do not belong to any particular religion, cast and creed; their blessings and grace are meant for humanity as a whole and each and every living soul of this universe. Although Salim Bhai was not very educated person but his thoughts were very clear about humanity and religion.

I got off at seven a.m. in the morning at Nagpur Station and straight away rushed to the Hotel. After freshening-up and complimentary breakfast, I left for MIDC-Kalmeshwar Industrial Area, which was approximately 30 KM away from my hotel. I was to meet with the Vice President-HR of a very reputed Cold-rolled, Galvanized & Colour-coated sheets manufacturing plant of an internationally reputed group, for the post of Manager (Marketing). I hired a taxi-car for full day and negotiated the taxi-fare with the cab-driver and explained to him my visit plan in brief and at the end I wanted him to drop me at the station where I had to board Bombay-Howrah Gitanjali express train at eight p.m. night.

I reached my first destination in the afternoon. I was told at the reception to wait till two o-clocks due to lunch break. They were three senior executive in the first round of interview, two in the second round and one person in the third and final round. At the end, VP-HR told me to collect my travel expenses and if I were selected I will be intimated by them within next seven days.

I left the office with mixed thoughts and very heavy steps because I was not certain whether I have been selected or rejected by them and slowly walked towards my cab. I requested the cab-driver to proceed towards Taj-bagh, within an hour we reached at Taj Baba ji’s Mazar. After parking the car, the driver requested me to buy offerings, which includes: red roses, packet of incense sticks and sweets.

Suddenly, I saw the cab driver proceeding towards an open-water-pond; he washed his face, hands and legs. Thereafter he took out a small cap from his pocket and covered his head. I also followed suit and then walked towards the main entrance of the Mazar. There was a pin drop silence inside; very calm, peaceful and quiet environment enveloped the entire area of Baba ji’s Mazar.

There was a big queue at the entrance and after fifteen minutes our turn came. The head priest accepted our offerings and in return gave us His blessings & sweets. We sat down there for half an hour and offered our prayers along with hundreds of other disciples. We left the Mazar around six p.m. in the evening.

At the Nagpur station, as agreed, I paid the cab-driver his dues. He took his money and later returned one hundred rupee note with gratitude. I asked him the reason of refund, he very politely replied with folded hands: “Sahib, my name is Mustafa bhai, I am born and brought up in Nagpur and passed over this place umpteen number of times since birth but I could pay a visit to this Mazar only today, I also got the blessings of Baba ji today because of you”. He became very emotional and suddenly hugged me with both his hands and his eyes were filled with tears.

On the third day of my return from Nagpur, when I came home from office in the evening, my wife handed me over one envelops which came through courier in the morning. I was stunned, shocked & surprised to open the same. It was an appointment letter (of Nagpur based Company) for the post of Manager (Marketing) for Colour Coated Sheet Division; based at Nagpur along with an excellent emoluments pay-package.

I did not join at Nagpur because I was not released by my Jamshedpur employer then. 2I years have passed since that incident but the fond memories of Salim Bhai and Mustafa Bhai are still alive in my mind simply because all of us were blessed by Baba ji, Amen!

With Prayers

Gurcharan