Friday, September 10, 2010

The witness of my sins

Whenever I don't get a sleep, I simply go out on the terrace and start thinking about the past incidents which makes me worried, disturbed and impatient. It makes me very low and sad and my heart starts weeping and gradually my eyes also gets wet with tears and I don't know for how long this continues.

All of a sudden I start communicating with someone who never came in front of me, He has never shown me His face but He has got a very sweet and at the same time very deep voice. He started communicating with me in my language, which I speak, whether it's a Bengali, Punjabi, Hindi or English, he responded in the same language with a very clear and perfect pronunciation.

I put forward my reasoning's, logics and justifications for my deeds. He listens to me quietly but He never accepted a single answer for my deeds, instead he started proving me wrong with facts and figures. I sometimes wonder, how he knows every things and that too in the right perspective without missing even a single link and incident.

Still I am not convinced with His reasoning's and I say the same thing to Him with full volume of my voice, spirit, force and arrogance. But He never gets angry, upset or disturbed with my selfish, greedy and negative attitudes and He starts explaining to me the incident from the third angel, which never came to my mind earlier.

Oh my God, what I have done, what will happens to me now? As usual, I started criticizing, cursing and shouting at myself and on my stupid deeds. All of a sudden the tears starts flowing again, uninterruptedly, my voice get chocked and I sit down on the floor. I don't know for how long I cried that night, there was nobody on the terrace  to console me or make me quite.

But I do have the witnesses of my sins with me that night; the moon, stars and the dark, deep and a very long night. I felt as if they were also crying with me and making me realize about my mistakes apparently and also putting an envelope of my guilt on my deeds.

And all of a sudden, I saw a bright thin red ray on the eastern part of the sky and the Sun God was planning to fill the sky with his broad smile, bright light and warm atmosphere, which will further boost our moral and we will again start doing our routine works as usual, which may be good, bad or ugly, we don't know.  

With Prayers
Gurcharan

  

  

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