Saturday, April 16, 2011

I always feel him around me with his bright, shining and smiling face

I was very close to my father. Almost eight years have passed since he left me alone but I could not forget him; he is still alive for me in my world, may be because I loved him so much. I don’t understand why people, whom we love the most, leave us early in our lives.

My father was the proud parent of three sons whereas I am having three beautiful daughters but he never felt sad about it. Instead, he used to encourage me by saying –“With three daughters, you will also get three sons in the form of their husbands, so don’t worry”.

I fully understand what my father used to think of me when he was around. I am sure, he wanted me to live my life happily, trouble free without any hassles and worry in a very peaceful manner, which should be full of happiness, joy, love, peace and I should never ever face even an iota of problem throughout my life.

Today I am living my life alone, without his presence, cover, protection or shelter makes me very sad, unhappy and sick. I have stopped enjoying my life the way I used to enjoy when he was with us. I was living my life without any fear, tension or worries because, I knew, he was there to take care of every-thing and that he will never let me down. For me, he was my second God who had actually introduced me to my first lord the God Almighty.

I am trying to do many things for my family, in his style, but I am not coming even 10% closer to what he actually used to do for us. All my best and sincere efforts to make my family happy have failed miserably and have gone to the drain due to lack of my devotion, dedication, intensity and love.

He always thought about us first; his personal choices, likings and interest always came later. Throughout his life, he lived for the family first; his love was so deep and intense, which could not be defined in words. I have seen him awake the whole night during summer times, when at mid-night, electricity used to go-off and he gave us air by handmade fan so that our sleep was not disturbed.

We were his first and the last priority and we four were his entire world. He had no friends and we were his only asset which included my mother and us, three brothers. I have never seen him buying anything for himself. I never saw him making any request for any particular dish or item to our mother. Whatever my mother cooked, he used to eat, even if the food was more or less spicy, did not matter to him and he never objected or shouted at my mother. Later, when my mother used to realize her fault, after eating, she used to cry and say sorry, but my father, who never lost his temper, always kept his cool and used to give his soft smile.

Since my childhood, whenever I used to get up in the morning, he was already awake doing his ‘Puja’ and at night when I used to go to bed, he was still busy with his prayers. He always used to recite ‘Gurbani’ and advised us to do ‘Simran’ on a regular basis.

Today, he is not with us, but his memories are still alive and very fresh in my mind. Whenever I feel sad, low or disheartened, I close my eyes and remember him in my prayers and suddenly, I feel him around me with his bright, shining and smiling face looking straight at me with the same intense, deep and soft look, full of his affection, blessing and love, which he always bestowed on us unconditionally. I pray to God Almighty to bless my father with a permanent place in HIS heavenly abode, Amen!

With Prayers
Gurcharan

























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