Today being Sunday I got up late from the bed. As usual, after paying my gratitude to my father and God Almighty, I picked up my mobile phone, which was kept on the side table, looked into any missed call details and later checked the mail box also. There were 12 messages in my g-mail account and one very important message was from my very dear friend Rajee, (Mrs. Rajeswari Thyagarajan). I read the message with half closed eyes and at the same time a big clock on my bedroom wall was showing the time: 6.00 AM to be precise on this Sunday morning.
After reading her message my eyes were wide open and I again read the same message twice to understand it better. The language was very simple, sweet and to the point but the content was not that simple. It was really very difficult to understand in one go. Moreover, the said message had also made me really sad, very sad and disturbed. I checked the message twice to confirm whether it was actually sent by my friend Rajee or not? And the result was positive.
She was my childhood friend from Calcutta; she got married when she was studying in second year of M.A. (Political Science), her husband: Mr. R. Thyagarajan, B.TECH (Mechanical) from Jadavpur University, was working with an automobile company as a design engineer. After completing her final exams she left for the US along with her husband, who got an offer from one of the large automobile manufacturing company of USA as a design engineer.
I was regularly in touch with her, earlier through postal-mail-service and later by e-mails. She always used to talk about her husband, children and the US economy but she had never ever uttered a single word about herself, her health and her problems. Her husband was promoted as vice president heading design & development cell in the same company; her older son was in engineering college and the younger son was studying in class-X. She got a big house, four cars and handsome bank balance, but she never discussed her personal problems with me. Whenever I asked her about her well-being or happiness, her pet answer used to be: “Since my family is happy, I am happy as well, any doubt, Charan?”
I came to know only last month that she is not well; she is suffering from 'Acid-reflux' from last 20 years. But now it has become a chronic problem. The doctor has advised her that it might lead to cancer. Her husband too worries a lot about it and he keeps calling her all the time, if she has taken her medicine or not. She has categorically mentioned in her last mail: “Although it bothers me but I don’t let it depress me. I am in high spirits; please don’t worry at all for me, Charan”.
She did not reply to me for two weeks, I was getting worried for her. I completely understand why she was so disturbed, scared and tensed. I wanted her to take life as it comes and I wrote to her in my previous mail: “Please don’t give the reasons for the delays in sending your replies. It is life and life can’t be predicted, therefore, we live our life on daily renewal basis. One more thing, I don’t know whether I will be here tomorrow or not, no, I am not joking, because I really don’t know when my Lord will call me and I am mentally prepared and keeping myself ready to proceed as per HIS instructions.
You know what, I don’t have a choice and as such nobody has a choice in this matter. In her last mail she mentioned: “It is always good to read whatever you write except one thing. I am going to mention it right below”.
She further mentioned: “I know this is the ultimate realty. Everyone is destined to go and it is a good thing to keep you ready all the time. But please don’t say it all the time. It hurts, if you keep saying that over and over again because hope sustains life. I know you are very organized. I can judge that from your proceedings and it is always good to be organized. This is the characteristic of successful persons. My husband is also very organized. But I am not that organized. I keep my home very organized, but as regards my personal life I am not that organized, sometimes I mess it up”.
I am so worried about her; at the same time I find it so hard to accept it, I being her best friend can’t help her in her present crisis, why? I think, I am no-good; neither am I a good human being nor a good friend, if I can’t help a friend in-need then what is the meaning of being good friends. I am very sorry, I always used to claim that I am her best friend and I can do any thing for her, I will always come forward whenever she requires any help or assistance, I will be there on her first call, but I see those were the hollow words and merely tall claims, which has got no real meaning or substance. Then what is the meaning of making those promises which you can’t fulfill in whole of you life-time?
She has been very kind to me so was her husband and family. I can never forget their consistent believe confidence, love and trust on me. I have never rendered any favour to her or her family till date. I always wanted to do some thing good for them but they never gave me an opportunity; today when the time has actually come, she truly expecting someone should come and solve all her problems within seconds, but, see my helplessness, incapability’s and bad luck, in spite of my best intentions and sincere efforts, I can’t solve any of her problems, including the physical one which has become so severe today.
As a matter of fact, her problems can’t be shared or borrowed by any one in this universe. I don’t understand why. I have seen people who can easily donate human organs and at the same time can be transplanted also on other human beings, very successfully; then why can’t we borrow or transfer physical problems and worries of our very dear-one’s as well?
I would like to pray to my Lord to give me enough strength, the honour and privilege to borrow all the problems of my very dear friend Rajee, so that she can live her life happily with her family. Therefore, oh my Lord, I pray to you with both my folded hands: “Either you solve all the problems of my friend Rajee or very kindly transfer all her problem to me at once, so that she can have long life, full of good health, happiness, joy, love and prosperity, for years to come”, Amen!
With Prayers
Gurcharan
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