Main objective of our Life is diluted in the beginning and forgotten at the end

I was wondering, why two Individuals must enter into a relationship. Let me elaborate this further: my mother and wife, who I know personally, they don’t have any individuality of their own. Say for example, my wife was a daughter and sister till the age of 18; got married at the age of 19; at 21, she became a mother. She is 50 years old now but she still lives like a mother first, then daughter and at the end wife; that too, when she comes in front of me, face to face, she immediately changes into the role of a wife by compulsion and not by choice. But at bottom of her heart, she was and she remains to be a mother first.

I always tried to tell my wife and daughter that they are individual beings; they owe a lot to themselves first. Please listen to inner voice of your own soul and then act accordingly. But I am sorry; they don’t buy my logic, any more.

As someone rightly remarked - “Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains.” These chains may be bonds of relations or values or something else. We are so bound to act in a set pattern and according to norms, either to please our family or the society or the world as a whole. I fail to understand why this happens to us, always? Through out our lives, we all play different roles as different characters and at the end we die as parents, grand-parents or some times even as a child alone; but the matter of the fact is, this type of relationship goes all along our life. Though, for our relatives this relationship it stays till the end.

I have seen a man/woman playing different kind of roles in his/her entire life-span, in the form of different characters and relationships, say for example: -

1) An individual born as a boy or girl, 1st relation is with their mother

2) 2nd relationship they develop with their father, brother & sister

3) 3rd relationship with their respective spouse

4) 4th relationship with their In-laws, relatives & friends

5) And later, they become parent, and this goes on and on…

Here my point is: why two individuals can not remain as Individual human being only; without getting involved into any kind of emotional or physical relationship? I strongly feel that I am an individual soul born on this earth with a defined, definite and specific goal/objective/target.

This gifted Life’s prime objective was to achieve the said goal with our sincere, hard work and dedicated efforts. By not following it we are defying the will of the God. As per face value, this journey of life looks too long & on the way, we sometimes feel exhausted, tired, gone astray and/or get deviated from our main goal, objective & target.

Therefore, to cross this very long and unfamiliar distance, we need a guide, companion, friend, mentor or a true Master, who can help and support us in treading toward our final destination safely and without hindrance. In other words, we are actually looking for a fool-proof, safe, short & defined road map so that we can put our right foot forward towards the said destination with complete mind, body & soul.

On the way, when we feel alone, exhausted, worn out and tired, we strongly feel the need of another companion. At the same time, it becomes our only un-fulfilled wish to be with someone as our partner and co-passenger, who can come along on this dry, tough, rough, long, unknown road, which is bumpy all along.

We closed our eyes and started living in an illusion that this transit place is actually our permanent house, all relationship which we have developed on the way will remain with us forever & we will never die.

By default, during the said journey, we forget the main goal, objective and target for which we were actually born as human beings and this transit-point is not our final-destination, but unfortunately, the main goal, objective and target is completely forgotten or buried by us in a way that it never surface again.

We play so many roles as doer and not as decider, i.e. we act like a son, brother, husband, son-in-law, father, employee, friend, relative, writer, philosopher, preacher, lecturer and so on, but we must not forget even for a split of second that we are playing a particular character/role for the time being, because each of us have a unique soul and we will act until our role demands, but we can’t be a son or husband or father for rest of our life?

We do play a particular role for the time being and again we would get back to our original-selves, as an individual first. I was born as a human being, came on this earth with a mission to complete, a task given to me by my Master the Supreme God or you may call HIM by another name of your choice.

But, it’s easier said then done. I have always seen my mother and wife looking the whole world from Mother’s perspective only. Both of them are individual souls, must be having so many dreams, hobbies, likings, missions, objectives, tastes, targets and visions, which they might have thought of in their initial lives, when they were young, but they had to bury everything at their parent’s house and later they are trying to fulfill the ambition, commitment, dream, obligation, promise, short, mid and long term targets of their Husband, Children, Relatives and Friends first; while performing this role and fulfilling those commitments, suddenly, they pass away from this universe, without completing their prime goal, objective and target; how pathetic, sad and sorry state of affairs, isn’t it?

In our society, same thing is true for any other relationship for that matter. I have seen my Bapu ji (father) doing everything for me, my mother and brothers. He never used to buy anything for himself. I being the eldest son, he used to take me to the market on the week-ends and buy me lots of toys, food, soft drinks, chocolates, ice cream and clothes, but I had never seen him eating or buying anything for himself from the market. But, I had always seen him enjoying, having good feel with broad smile on his face to see me enjoying, laughing and dancing with excitement, happiness and joy. I used to enjoy those free goodies and he used to be satisfied just by looking at me and his biggest satisfaction came on his face when I used to tell him: “I am done, let’s go home now.”

In this whole gamut, we miss one thing and that is, the prime objective of our life, which the God Almighty had given to us at the time of our birth; that is totally forgotten. I was told, we got this life of a human being after completing a life-circle of 83, 99, 999 different lives and blessed in the 84th lakh life of a human being; the main and the only objective of this birth was to merge with the creator of the universe, like a drop of water merge with the ocean, which was diluted in the beginning itself and forgotten at the end.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

HE wishes us good luck, always! But strange are HIS ways

By the time I reached Gurgaon Toll Plaza, it was almost ten thirty at night but even at this late hour, there was heavy congestion and a long queue wait at the exit lane. I thought, the pre-paid tag lane would move faster but here also the scene was the same. I was waiting in the queue, when suddenly my car was hit from the back by another speeding car so forcefully that my car hit against another car parked in front of my car. My car was badly damaged from both ends. The owner of the front car came frantically towards me and when he found my car was also damaged, he proceeded towards the car behind me and started yelling.

As there was no response from that car, that had collided with our cars. I went towards the front window and knocked on the glass but still no response came. Meanwhile, the other car owner pushed me aside and opened the front door of the car in a fury. We both were taken aback when a body of a woman (who was driving the car) collapsed in his hands. The man started screaming in panic. Meanwhile, crowd gathered at the accident site and people in the other cars in the queue started shouting to move our cars from the main lane and settle scores separately.

I moved ahead and checked the pulse of the victim she was alive but had fainted due to the impact of the accident. Suddenly, I noticed that her fore-head was bleeding profusely. Immediately, I removed her from the car seat and placed her in my car, then pushed her car to one corner and rushed her to the nearby Hospital.

Before I could reach the Hospital, police arrived and started investigating me with a series of questions about the victim, car, accident and how and when and whys? With great difficulty, I could explain to the Police Officer everything in detail about the incident, who seemed to be a very reasonable person. After listening to my story, he went out of the way in extending full support and helped me all along to get the patient admitted to the Hospital’s Emergency ward.

Meanwhile, I almost forgot to call my wife in a hurry, I had left my mobile phone in the car. So, I went to the parking zone and picked my mobile from the car. I found that there were nine missed calls, five from my wife and four from my daughters. The Emergency ward’s big clock had struck 12'O-clock. I thought that my family members must have been damn worried for not answering their calls. With great hesitation, I called my wife and told her about the accident. On learning about the accident, she started crying. After lot of explanation, I consoled her and assured her that everything was fine and I would be back as soon as I am done with the Hospital formalities.

Meanwhile, I had to fill out the forms and submit my Credit Card for advance payment. The victim was rushed to the Operation Theatre [O.T.]. After fifteen minutes, the O.T. Nurse came out and told me to arrange three bottles of blood from the Blood Bank, on priority. She explained that due to head injury, the patient had lost lot of blood and her Blood Pressure was dipping down. I contacted the Police officer, he arranged for the blood using his influence with the Blood Bank on top priority.

I was sitting at the lounge, when the sister came out of the OT and informed me that the operation was successful and they will be shifting the patient to the cabin. Thereafter, I came to her cabin and sat down on the sofa lying near the bed. She was still under the influence of anesthesia and was sleeping. I found that she was a fair looking woman in her early-forties, and her head, nose, left ear, neck and chest were covered with bandages. I was feeling very sorry for her. I didn’t know who to call from her family as her purse and mobile phone were left in her car parked at the Toll Plaza office. Therefore, I had no option but to wait until her consciousness is restored and she tells who could be contacted in her family.

I was very upset, scared and tense thinking that her family members must be worried about her. I didn’t even know her name, although I knew, Police would be able to trace her family from the car registration no. I didn’t know when I went to sleep while sitting on the sofa. I woke up only when the morning shift Nurse came and called me. She thought I was her family and assured me that she (patient) would be fine within a couple of days.

I was told, she was driving at a speed of 90 KMPH, and on reaching the Toll Plaza she applied the brake which did not work and bumped into our cars with full force. The impact was so strong that she could not escape the serious injuries, she suffered from.

Meanwhile, around six in the morning an old lady (seemed to be her mother) came rushing into the cabin. She was crying and calling the patient ‘Simran’. She then looked at me and offered her heart felt thanks and handed me an envelope filled with thousand rupee notes. I refused to accept it and after much persuasion that I would settle my account later, she agreed to keep it back.

I left the cabin and assured Mrs. Kapoor (mother of the victim) that I will be back by noon and meet the Doctor. After getting relieved from the Hospital, first of all I left my damaged car at the workshop and collected a replacement car. From there, I went to Toll Plaza and arranged to shift the victim's car also to the workshop collecting her personal belongings from the car, which included her purse, two mobile phones and her laptop-bag. Then, I went home to take bath and returned to the Hospital around one 'o-clock.

Mrs. Kapoor was sitting near the patient and the patient was still fast asleep. I bought two cups of coffee and offered one to Mrs. Kapoor. With a bit of hesitation, she accepted the cup. Meanwhile, a team of Doctors entered the cabin and started examining the patient.

After thorough check-up, the senior most Doctor informed that the patient was required to stay for a longer period due to her injuries being severe.

Fifteen days had passed since the accident but she was still in the Hospital. The patient, Dr. Simran (Kapoor) Mehdiratha, 41 years, divorced, a PhD. in Micro-Biology was employed in a multi-national Pharmaceutical Company in Gurgaon as a Research Scientist. On the accident night, she was returning home after attending a wedding Reception of her colleague from a five star Hotel in New Delhi.

She was living with her mother in a 3-BHK Duplex and driving an expensive German car. Her daughter, a student of class-X, was in a boarding school at Ajmer. Her ex-husband was a Medical Practitioner, who remarried an MBBS-Doctor, leaving his daughter with Simran and at present settled abroad with his second wife. Simran decided not to marry again though her mother kept insisting. As a result of this accident, Simaran lost hearing of her right ear; two front teeth got knocked out, nose broken, forehead with twelve stitches, neck with a large scar mark and her chest still hurting. Apparently she seemed alright but her beautiful face had become somewhat dull and drab.

Doctors tried their best to restore hearing of her right ear with no success. These past fifteen days, I used to visit her daily in the evening but it was her mother who was talking with me all the time but Simran didn’t utter a word. She used to write on a piece of paper all relevant details, sign a few blank cheques for me to settle the expenses of Car repair and Hospital bills. I was little surprised, when nobody turned up from her office all these fifteen days. It was only her mother who used to visit her everyday. I would visit her in the evening and sit down for an hour or so every day, just to make her feel-good but she never exchanged any word though. Many a times, I saw in her eyes lot of pain, anguish and tears. The accident had caused her once bright face to look dull, drab and listless. She had sparkling dark brown big round eyes, which at a glance looked intoxicating.

During my last visit, Mrs. Kapoor asked me to come at 10 A.M. next day to complete the formalities at the hospital for her discharge. So, I reached the Hospital and completed all the formalities and collected the case-history, prescription, medicines and her diet-chart etc. I also made necessary appointments with the Neurosurgeon, ENT Specialist & Orthopedic Doctors at the OPD for her next week’s visit. By the time I returned to the Cabin, Simran had changed into Salwar-kamiz on her own and was looking totally different. Her mother, Mrs. Kapoor went to see the Nursing Staff to pay her sincere thanks while Simran sat on the sofa reading a book.

The moment, I entered, she got up, came rushing to me, hugged me and started crying non-stop. I was totally stunned. I tried to console her but she stopped me by putting her fingers on my mouth. Her tears were flowing uncontrollably and I did not know how to console her. At that very moment, Mrs. Kapoor entered the cabin and asked “Can we go now, Simran?” Simran shook her head and both moved towards the exit door.

In bewilderment, I asked Mrs. Kapoor: “why can’t Simran talk to me, Mrs. Kapoor", why, why?” Her eyes welled up and tears rolled down her cheeks and she answered in a gloomy voice- I am sorry son, she has lost her speech too in this accident. Hearing this new revelation, I was shocked and dumb founded not knowing what to say and tried to avoid eye contact with Simran and her mother but SRI GANAPATI BAPPA, the presiding deity of the Hospital Reception was staring straight into my eyes smiling continuously as if saying ‘strange are HIS ways’!!!

With Prayers

Gurcharan

We don’t know what they actually need, want and desire

Whatever I wanted in my life, it has never happened and whatever happened was beyond my imaginations and expectations. Things, which I could not even think of even in my dream, it came true and confronted me without giving me any chance or choice to think over it.

The naked truth of my life was looking straight into my eyes without blinking an eyelid and I was simply watching it helplessly because I was having no choice either and I was forced to accept the same as a verdict of my destiny.

Right from my childhood I was fond of reading and writing. I always wanted to become a writer and a story-teller but I became a hardcore product-seller and a salesman whose primary job was to please the clients by providing them with the best of products and services.

In the sales profession, client’s happiness comes first and self help comes last. The first lesson which is being imparted to every salesman is to understand the customer’s requirements first and his existence was directly linked with the survival of his “Client”. They were taught from the beginning that the Client is a real “King” and they have to do every thing possible to please the client at all cost and at the end of the day, they have to make the client very happy with the products and services they offered.

As a matter of fact, it was very difficult to understand whether the client actually needed those products/ services or not, moreover, it was not any salesman’s purgative also to know about it. Because they can’t be judgmental, at the end of the day, it’s their profession, responsibility and prime duty to perform accordingly, on prime-fascia.

The job of a professional sales person used to be first creating an environment and developing the need, want and desire amongst their prospective customer/clients and thereafter offer them the right product-mix and services to fulfill those need, want and desire in totality.

If we look back and evaluate the buying process with an x-ray eyes, we will come to know that in many cases the actual need was never established fully at the first place and due to over-selling the sales transaction has been made and it was the direct impact of the Third-P of the Marketing-mix (Product, Price, Promotion and Place) which resulted in wrong-sales.

The today's professional salesmen are actually very intelligent, clever and smart and they go out of their way to satisfy the customer’s ego, hunger, thirst and requirement/s by fulfilling all their demands which have been created by the market dynamics.

They offer them a solution, which is in the interest of both the parties and hence the deal is stuck between them and on the face of it, the same was favouring the client, but if we go deep down and analyze, we will find out that this need may not be there at the first place and every thing was an illusion which was artificially created by the sales environment to fulfill the need, want and desires of the customer.

In the beginning, the said salesman used to feel guilty of over/wrong selling but after repeating the said act again and again with the clients, he becomes an expert enough to even fool himself. He also has started living in the same illusions that the need was actually their hence he is not guilty for the said act.

But deep down in his heart, when he really start thinking about his clients, he becomes very impulsive, uneasy and uncertain of his acts and deeds because he has never treated his clients as a human beings at the first place and throughout his professional life the client remains a customer only, nothing more nothing less and the same client is only a via-media of achieving his pre-set sales target/goals and he is not at all bother or worried to know what the client actually needed, wanted and desired in his life.

But I know for sure, life is more than selling and buying, although it's easier said than done.

With Prayers,

Gurcharan

Life is not mathematics; it’s unpredictable

The Mumbai city was flooded with rain-water, traffic was in deep mess, nothing was moving and on top of it, all the local and long route trains were stopped on the way. Besides, the domestic flights were also cancelled for indefinite period.

I was stuck in the city from the previous night. I was coming back from Pune after attending my quarterly sales meet and wanted to go back to Calcutta by late evening flight but I could not do so because I missed my flight due to late arrival at the airport. Thereafter, I decided to catch Gitanjali express train to Calcutta in the morning.

Luckily, I got the reservation in AC-II tier coach in Gitanjali express train, which leaves Mumbai's V.T. Station at six in the morning but was delayed due to the heavy rain. The rain had probably decided not to stop until the whole city was submersed.

Therefore, I decided to wait at the station itself and I proceeded towards platform number one from where Gitanjali express train was scheduled to depart. I sat on the long chair which was vacant at that point of time. Except for the coolies, nobody else was around. I had just started reading my book (I was carrying with me), when someone interrupted my reading and asked in Bengali “Excuse me sir, Howrah train would come at this platform?” Instead of replying to him, I put my own question to her: “Which Train?” She replied: “Gitanjoly Express”. Before I could confirm to her, the cooly carrying her belongings had already kept her luggage on the ground and left colleting his dues.

She was in her mid-thirties, slim, smart, tall and very fair looking beautiful woman. She was wearing plain cotton sari with red border which was almost wet with the rain water. Somehow, I could not hold myself and offered her small fresh towel to make herself dry. In reciprocation, she opened a flask, poured two cups of tea and offered me one hot cup of tea along with biscuits.

Meantime, the announcement was made that Gitanjali express would leave in the evening. We first became very happy but sad thereafter because it’s only eleven in the morning and we had to wait for another 5-6 hours on the platform before boarding our train.

I requested her to keep an eye on my luggage and went out to bring some food for us. It took me more than half an hour to bring the food, soft drinks and tea from a nearby market because most of the hotels near the station were closed. With great difficulty, I managed food from a restaurant and her flask came handy for carrying hot tea for us.

She was looking worried, tensed and almost in tears when she saw me, before I could explain the reason of my delay, she started shouting at me as if I was her slave. Some how, I could not control myself and smiled at her, which further irritated her and all of a sudden she started hitting me with both her hands, and then, she put her head on my chest and broke down. Her face was full of tears and she was uttering few unfinished words in Bengali with great difficulty.

Lots of people, who were sitting at the platform, started watching this drama and whispering to each other in soft voices, which could be heard by all of us without any problem: “It’s their problem let them fight and others should mind their own business.”

I am sure my co-passenger had also heard the above statement; suddenly, she became very calm, quite and serious, as if, nothing had happened between us. She very politely said "sorry" to me and then gave me the justification of her anger.

She felt, as if I have started eating out alone and avoiding her company but when she saw me coming with lots of food packets she could not control herself and she bursted out on me with her suppressed anger, but in-between she almost forgot one thing that I was nobody to her, I was a stranger, who happened to be at the platform at that point of time, thanks to the unstoppable rain and would leave her on arrival at our destination; leaving everything behind, that too, without any guarantee of any future meeting between us.

Almost an hour had passed since that unpleasant incident but nobody uttered a single word, we ate our food in silence without feeling any taste as if we were simply filling our stomach although the need was not there but we were simply avoiding eye contacts with each others, putting everything inside without giving much thought to it.

Her silence was quite disturbing and I was seriously thinking about today’s episode, what have I done that had irritated her so much that she became so angry, violent and nervous. I didn’t know how I had developed a soft corner for her. She reminded me of my very close childhood friend whom I lost in my early life. She is not at all like her but her tantrum had reminded me of someone whom I loved the most. She died at the very young age of twenty-one due to severe asthma attack.

As expected she started unfolding herself with lots of pain which could be seen on her face. And finally she exploded “Sir, you know, he had left me and wanted me to divorce him at all cost. He is not ready to give me one more chance to save our marriage because he has already selected another companion, with whom he is living and last night he brought her home, you see. I could not tolerate this act of shame and his guts when he introduced her as his "would be wife".

Tell me Sir, for how long a woman can tolerate her husband’s atrocity, beating, injustice, torchers and bad words about her family, and why? I am PhD. in Physic and working as a Professor earning fairly good salary but what will I tell about our broken marriage to my parents? They all think that I am happily married and enjoying my married life with a very successful (B.TECH+MBA+MNC employed) husband. 

Now I have realized why she was so angry on me, it was her last night’s incident which had forced her to release her anger; when she saw me coming late from market, she could not hold herself any longer and bursted out with volcano of her pain, furiously.

Our train started at seven in the evening. We were sitting facing each other on side-lower seats. On the face of it, she was looking quite comfortable, relaxed and relieved from all her pain, problem and tension; but deep down, she was worried and desperately looking for a solution to her problem. And at other side, I was thinking, why our lives are so complicated and wondering: “Life is not mathematics; it’s unpredictable.”

With Prayers

Gurcharan

SAMARPAN

I was sitting at the airport lounge and reading my favourite book; when an announcement was made for the further delay of my flight to Pune by another two hours, due to bad whether conditions. Monsoon had just arrived at Delhi and the flight services became the first victim of this late monsoon, as usual.

I had no option left but to wait at the airport. I was sure that my prospective client would understand the reason of such an unavoidable delay, which was actually beyond my control. I had planned to return to Delhi by the late evening flight, after meeting with the said client, but now it seems, I have to stay for a night at Pune Hotel.

I immediately conveyed this message to my Pune client and to my Boss at Gurgaon office, so that he was kept updated on my outdoor movements. Later, I told my wife also about the flight delay. Before I could speak to her, she asked me a question: “Have you reached Pune?” I replied to her in a very low voice: “No, I am still at Delhi-Airport, because my flight has been delayed”. After disconnecting the mobile, once again I started concentrating on my book.

I felt as if someone was watching me with very sharp eyes, when I lifted my head from the book, I saw one fair looking elderly person of foreign origin in a white ‘Kurta-pyjama’, standing opposite my chair and smiling. I immediately jumped to my feet and greeted the foreign guest with both my hands folded and said: “Namaste” and to my utmost surprise, he also responded by bowing his head and said: “Namaste.” After exchange of greetings, I offered him a chair next to me, which was vacant. He sat down and said with a broad smile: “Dhanayvaad.”

Few minutes later, I again looked at him and said: “Sir, are you alright?” Because, he was still staring at me and smiling, which made me upset, irritating and unnecessarily annoyed? He spoke to me in a very strong and deep voice: “I was wondering, the flight to Pune may get cancelled, so why don’t you go via Mumbai, because there are umpteen numbers of flights to Mumbai and sooner or later, one would definitely fly.”

I became suspicious, how he knew that I was going to Pune, and before I could think further, he satisfied my curiosity by offering his reply to my unanswered question: “I have heard you when you were talking to your wife; that’s how I came to know that you are also flying to Pune.”

Now I became very alert of his movements. Meanwhile I tried to concentrate on my book without any success. Thereafter, I was compelled to start my conversation with this old man who was sitting next to me but in spite of my very strong desire, I could not speak to him immediately, because he had by then closed both his eyes and was reciting shlokas in sanskrit.

He was reciting “Maha Mrityunjay Mantra”. And I was totally amazed, surprised and stunned to hear his clear, correct and right pronunciations of Mantras. After repeating the Mantra five times, he stopped, opened his sea-blue eyes, looked at me with a smile and asked - “Have I frightened you?” And before I could respond, he said again: “Don’t be afraid, nothing will happen to you, trust me.”

After long discussions of one and a half hours between us, I came to know that this old man was the owner of five billions US-Dollars company, based at New York City of USA, had come to India six months ago to take his daughter back home. But his daughter insisted him to visit the most beautiful places in India before returning to USA, which included: Dehradoon, Haridwar, Hemkunt sahib, Kochin, Kanyakumari, Lonawala, Mahabaleshwar, Nainital, Rishikesh, Srinagar, Shimla, Solan and Trivandrum. He came back from Rishikesh last night and that day morning he was going to Pune to meet his daughter, who was living in an Ashram there. He had bought a small house near Dehradoon where he was planning to spend rest of his life.

With regards to his company, he had divided his entire wealth in four equal parts; one part each goes to his wife, son and daughter respectively and the balance 25% of his share would be transferred to various religious Trusts in India in due course of time.

However, his daughter had refused to take her shares. That’s the reason why he was going to Pune, so that he could meet with her and request her to accept her share of wealth, as a token of his love and affection, which she could spend the way she wished.

Listening to his story, I was so stunned and turned like a statue that I could not speak a word to him. I was wondering whether this old man belonged to this world or he had come from heaven. I had never ever seen or heard someone giving his entire wealth to his family and Trusts and not keeping anything for himself.

Suddenly, the meaning of the word ‘SAMARPAN’ dawned on me and I realized its true meaning i.e. cent per cent Surrender to His Master.

Meanwhile, the announcement for the departure of Pune flight was made and we both started walking towards the Security-check.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

Girls are more loving & caring but it’s rather very difficult to get them suitably married & settled

I left my client’s office at 8.30 P.M. and was driving back home when a call came on my mobile from an unlisted number. However, I put the mobile phone on speaker mode and started talking. The caller was one Mr. Rajbir Singh from Patiala and he was talking about his son’s marriage proposal with my daughter. He said his son was an IT-Engineer with a MBA degree, working in a multi-national company at Chennai as a Manager and earning around Rs. 75,000 per month. I was not very keen in the said discussion because my daughter wanted to continue with her studies for the time being.

Meanwhile, the caller also gave me the reference of a very dear friend of mine from Chandigarh from whom he got my number. Hearing this, I stopped my car at the road side corner and started talking to him in detail. After long discussion, I ended the conversation by saying that I will revert back to him, after consulting the matter with my family.

Back home, after dinner while going to bed, I told my wife about the marriage proposal received over phone for our daughter. In the beginning, she was much exited but later became emotional and all of a sudden, her eyes were filled with tears. I was wondering if these tears were for happiness or sorrow.

We were very happy the day our daughter was born; she was so beautiful, very fair and looked like an angel who was the blessing of the God Almighty, as if it was only yesterday and today we were talking about her marriage. Time flies so fast, why my Lord, why?

Next day morning, I told my little angel about the marriage proposal we received for her. She patiently listened to me and said at the end, “Papa, I am in no mood to get married now, I have just started my career as a school teacher and have to continue with my studies. Only after getting a PhD. degree, I would get married, I promise” and she closed the topic.

I was taken aback, as it meant I will have to wait for another three to four years for her marriage. Wasn't it too long a period, I wondered. Then I thought, she could continue with her PhD. studies even after marriage, if the boy gave his consent. We could talk to them in the beginning itself and only if they agreed; we would go ahead. Otherwise we would say 'no' to them, there is no big deal. We tried our best to convince our daughter to meet with the prospective groom at least and discuss each and every point in detail before taking any final decision. May be, the boy could accommodate and would allow her to continue with her studies after marriage. After lot of explanation and persuasion, we finally could convince her to meet with the boy’s family.

Meanwhile, we exchanged the bio-data and photographs and it seemed to be alright. So, we decided to visit Patiala and meet with the family of Mr. Rajbir Singh. We found them very civilized, decent, good and down to earth family. On the face of it, everything seemed to be good and perfect, as if, the Almighty had architected a “made for each other" couple.

Somehow, from inside, I was not comfortable the way things were going and I was wondering how everything was so smooth and hurdle free. I started doubting unnecessarily, although, I was not having any valid reason to say no to this proposal.

At the end, they wanted us to bless the boy by giving a token amount as "shagun", but I refused to honour their request by saying, please visit our house first, meet the girl, let both (boy and girl) talk to each other and let them take an appropriate decision, after all it was their lives and they must decide for their future life partner.

I could guess they did not like my suggestion. Mr. Rajbir Singh then gave a counter proposal and said, let both of them talk to each other over phone and seal the proposal. My wife immediately said no to this suggestion also, and again explained to them that over phone you can’t make a final decision. After all it’s a question of entire life of our children and how could you simply talk to someone over phone and take a final call, you are not buying a commodity, it’s the question of someone's entire life, which could be at a stake with one wrong decision; didn't it looked so absurd, stupid and unpractical, I said to them.

We finally convinced them and invited them to visit our house as per their convenience to meet with our family members including my daughter, for which they happily agreed.

Two days after we came back from Patiala, I got a call from Mr. Rajbir Singh that they would be visiting our place on that weekend. And as expected, their entire family came and met with our family. Later I requested my daughter to meet with the boy separately and discuss her concern. Both of them sat in a separate room and talked for about half an hour. My daughter told him about her hobbies, likes, future plans etc., and her intention to work as a teacher/lecturer after completing her studies and also asked him to talk about his views and future plans, freely and openly.

They left our place after lunch and promised to call us back within next few days. After a week or so, I got a SMS from Mr. Rajbir Singh, saying - “Boy not agreed”

I was shocked and stunned, what went wrong, why did they say no. Now my biggest problem was to convey this message to my wife and daughter. Moreover, what reason would I put forward for their refusal? I really didn’t know. I was in a dilemma. First I thought to talk to them over phone and ask the reason but later I decided to drop this idea and forget the whole episode as a bad dream. But how could I forget it so easily. I was angry and frustrated and did not know what to do and was not in a position to calm down either.

I came home and with great difficulty told my wife about the message from Patiala. As expected, my wife became very serious and started crying and within no time my daughter also came to know about it. But she did not utter a single word and went back to her room and closed the door.

At dinner table, we all sat together and we called our angel. She came out and sat with us and was looking very normal but I knew for sure, she must be deeply hurt as was clear from her face. Somehow, I was feeling myself to be the culprit for the whole episode. As in the first place, she was not interested for marriage, but I insisted her to meet with the boy’s family. My guilt became unbearable and I said "sorry" to my daughter. Hearing this, she came rushing to me, grabbed me and said: “Papa you don’t have to say sorry, it’s not your fault” and she could not control her tears which were eagerly waiting to flood her face. We both cried and at that very crucial moment, as usual, my wife, as a truly matured woman and mother, very nicely took the whole-situation in her own hands and said: “No more discussions on this topic please, I have prepared a special dish, so let’s enjoy our dinner tonight.”

Later on, I came to know from our Chandigarh friend that the boy was in love with another girl, but his parents wanted him to marry a girl of their choice. After returning from our place, the boy told his parents that: “If you don’t accept my proposal I will not accept yours”. What I fail to understand in the whole episode is that, what was the fault of our daughter? And who had given them a right to intrude into our lives just like that and disturb the family's atmosphere just because we are the parents of a daughter. Could any one ask them?

Only today, I realize why my mother used to get upset whenever a baby girl was born in our family or friends or relations; because she always used to say: “Girls are more loving and caring but it’s rather very difficult to get them suitably married and settled in today’s cruel world.”

With Prayers

Gurcharan

The best gift of God in my life

I reached home very late that night and over the dinner, my wife informed me that one Mr. Jha had come to our house in the evening and delivered an urgent message of Mr. S. K. Swamy (Personal Officer of a public limited company at Jamshedpur) and he wanted to wait for the reply for Mr. Swamy’s message. My wife with great difficulty could convince Mr. Jha that my arrival will be sometime at mid-night and that only tomorrow morning it would be possible to get a reply from me.

Hearing this from my wife, I got worried and all sorts of thought started pouring into my mind; what could have happened there, may be the machine we sold to them last month was not working or there could be some other problem. Carrying lots of negative thoughts, I finally went to sleep very late, with so many worries and tension.

The next morning, when I called Mr. Swamy over phone, he sounded very worried and asked me to rush to his office immediately. Over a cup of tea, he explained to me the whole story. A few months back, I gave them one Bio-data of Mr. Alok Kumar Karmchandani, who was then working as a Finance Head in an engineering organization at Ranchi. He was short listed for the post of “Chief Finance Office.” Last week, the Chairman of the company came back from abroad and wanted to meet with this new CFO, to whom they were thinking of appointing, but could not trace him at his Ranchi address because by then he had already resigned from that company, almost three months back, and had not left his contact address.

And when the Chairman enquired about the source of his Bio-data, my name came to light because I had given them the CV. Now Mr. Swamy’s boss: Mr. S. C. Sen (Chief Personal Officer) sincerely wanted me to trace Mr. Karamchandani and bring him to their Calcutta office to meet with their Chairman, who was to reach Calcutta the day after morning by his own plane.

Mr. Swamy happened to be a very dear friend of mine and so was Mr. Karamchandani. I therefore took one day casual leave from my job and proceeded to Calcutta the very next day to try and locate Mr. Karamchandani.

On arrival at Calcutta, first I visited Mr. Karamchandani’s previous company’s registered office and met with all the people in that office who could possibly know his address, but no luck. Nobody could help me out in this regard and I left the office with a heavy heart. While stepping down from the office stair, an old Peon of that office came running after me and said “You are looking for Mr. Karamchandani, I had once seen him near about the Red Building fast food restaurant on Camac Street.” He also gave me a tip that probably Mr. Karamchandani was working with a big builder of Calcutta whose Office was located near the Red building on Camac Street itself.

I thanked the peon and rushed towards the Red Building on Camac Street and started enquiring about the builder’s office near the restaurant. After visiting a couple of offices nearby, I finally located the builder’s office and when enquired about Mr. Karamchandani, the Lady sitting on the reception counter confirmed to me that yes, Mr. Karamchandani was employed there but he had gone to the Bank and would be back after 2.00 P.M.

She then asked me to wait at the visitor’s room and sent hot cup of tea along with biscuits and few magazines to read and relax while waiting. Mr. Karamchandani came back to his office around 2.30 PM and immediately came rushing to the visitor’s room on hearing from the receptionist that I was waiting for him since long. He was surprised and almost in a dilemma and shocking stage, as to what had brought me to his office and more importantly, from where did I get his address.

He came rushing in waiting room and first hugged me and literally pulled me-up, started laughing with great joy and said in an overwhelming tone, “So, at last, you have caught me, what’s up?” He met me as if we were meeting after ages and was so happy seeing me today at his new office. His emotions could not be explained in words and the genuineness of warmth was so clear and visible on his face. He immediately called his staff member to arrange lunch for us and started enquiring about me, my family and my job etc. I then told him about the purpose of my visit. He agreed to meet with the Chairman. He also invited me to have breakfast with him the next morning at his residence and from there he said, we would go together to meet with the Chairman.

We reached at the destination on schedule time and came to know that the Chairman had already reached Calcutta and would be in office within half an hour. On arrival, the Chairman immediately called Mr. Karamchandani and within fifteen minutes their meeting was over. Thereafter, the Chairman called me and first thanked me for locating and bringing Mr. Karamchandani to his office and later told me to meet him at Jamshedpur next Friday morning without fail.

I returned to Jamshedpur same night; and then became busy with my own job and almost forgot about the invitation of the Chairman. As expected, I again got an urgent message from my friend Mr. Swamy that the Chairman wanted to meet me today before dawn, it’s urgent.

I was sitting with a client when I got this message and the Chairman’s office was approximately 45 K.M. away from my present location. First I thought to make an excuse and avoid the visit, but later, I decided to meet with the Chairman; and it was mandatory also for me to visit him because, after all they were my existing client’s.

Therefore, after finishing my work, I rushed to meet the Chairman; and on arrival at his office, Mr. Swamy asked me to proceed to the Chairman’s chamber immediately, because he is waiting for me since morning and also wished me good luck.

The Chairman gave me a warm welcome and again thanked me for my sincere efforts. He then requested me to collect the expenses I had incurred on my Calcutta visit and at the end said: “I would like you to join my company, just sit with Mr. S. C. Sen (CPO Sir), discuss your emoluments and take your offer letter today itself, alright, and welcome aboard.”

I was shocked, stunned and almost fainted, what is he talking about? I never ever thought of joining this company even in my dreams and here the Chairman of the company himself offering me a job. Was I day-dreaming or is it true? After expressing my sincere thanks and gratitude, I came out of his chamber and went straight to Mr. Swamy’s cabin.

Mr. Swamy first congratulated me and said with his big smile “You did it Charan, Chairman Sir is very happy with you, now come and join us fast." He also told me that, the Company was offering me a job in marketing division, which I should accept without any hitch or hesitation. He then asked me to follow him to the CPO sir's cabin, for final discussions on my induction.

On my way back home, I was thinking and wondering about the whole episode. I never thought that I would ever join one of my client’s companies which not only gave me a good salary but also offered a Bungalow with servant quarter, company car with driver, free school bus facilities for children and full medical facilities for my entire family.

Mr. Karamscandani did not join them; instead he went back to Delhi to be with his previous employer. Now, after 23 years, when I think in retrospect, I strongly believe that it was all HIS doing and the blessings of my parents that a dear friend like Mr. S. L. Swamy, came into my life, who happens to be one of the best gifts of God in my life.

With Prayers

Gurcharan