The biggest crime is breaking heart of your loved-one

The toughest part of any relationship is the knowledge and understanding of the first person regarding the behaviour, mood, nature and temperament of the second person. In this hi-tech environment of modern age, where distance has no relevance and anyone can become a friend with the person sitting on the other part of the world, where chances of seeing each other could be very bleak, rare and almost impossible. But still, we not only make friends, develop a long term relationships and go all along to maintain it very successfully.

A very close friend of mine always used to say: “A person must be rational in his/her behaviour. In case of any misunderstanding and/or miscommunication; they must speak with each other and try to resolve the issue amicably without hurting each other’s feelings and further making it more explosive at the end”.

It’s easier said than done. I have found out that many times the root-cause of the problem is negligible but our ego, misconception and biased approach clouds our mind, body & soul so vehemently that we take such a drastic and negative steps that not only end up our relationships but also make it traumatizing and painful for our dear friend, in particular.

I must say that sometimes even in our close relationships (family and relatives), we become so irrational, loud, violent and impractical that it becomes intolerable, painful and unbearable and our dear ones submit with dismay, disbelief and depression.

Today, when I look back and see the journey of last fifty years of my life, I see myself all alone walking in this cruel world and nobody is accompanying me. In-spite of having such a long list of relatives and friends, today I am dumped by everyone, have been left alone and carrying my cross on my own shoulders. After thorough analysis, I have come to the conclusion that, these are self-created problems and the not the ones created by Mother Nature. At the end of the day if any one is to be blamed, it’s me and me only.

I have kept losing good friends who were real assets of my life. It was their love and affection which made me multi-millionaire with their deep sense of belonging, belief, faith and trust. I have paid very heavy price to learn the secret of life that no relationship can survive on your defined terms and conditions.

It’s true that a person comes alone and has to go alone from this world, but till his last rites he is being accompanied by all his relatives and best friends. But I am sorry, when I look back from my present position, I see all along, empty roads behind me and no sign or trace of any human being; forget about relatives or friends.

I was feeling really very sad last night but still I was not ready to accept my faults which have made all my friends very annoyed, angry and detached from me, forever. What should I do my Lord and I started crying, I kept on crying for very long time and I went to sleep thereafter.

I don’t know for how long, but when I got up from my bed, I found myself in another world, which I have never seen before in my entire life. This place was built on a very high altitude. It was very big palace of white-marble, flooded with lots of lights all around. I could clearly see the moon & stars which were looking very bright and shining above in the clear sky.

Where have I been? I kept remembering that place but to no avail. After walking for some time, I found so many people at the back side of the palace. Some people were sitting on the ground in meditation and quite a few were walking in a slow motion under the bright moon light. I have also noticed one very strange thing, nobody was talking to each other and everyone was maintaining pin drop silence. The whole atmosphere looked like an ocean of peace.

Suddenly, I saw an elderly man sitting in the center of the ground on a marble platform. I moved towards him and sat down in front of him after paying my respects. His eyes were closed and he was under deep meditation. His face was looking radiant, glowing and his silver beard was very long and thick. He was wearing white robes and was looking very calm, peaceful and in quiet posture. I sat besides him for a very long time. After an hour or so he opened his eyes and pronounced: “I am sorry to keep you waiting for so long, what can I do for you, Charan?”

I told him that everyone in my life has left me alone and I am feeling very lonely, sad and unwanted. He smiled, looked at me with his bright eyes and gave me a very gracious look and said: “The biggest crime is breaking heart of your loved-ones. There is a provision of punishment for every kind of crime in the civil society. But no court of this world has the power to give punishment for breaking someone’s belief, confidence, love and trust. In my opinion, this is the biggest ever crime in human history; and its punishment will be your sincere apology, regret and asking for true forgiveness from the bottom of your heart.

Therefore, please go back to your loved-ones and ask for forgiveness from each and every soul whose heart you have broken. May God be with you and show you the right path.” The Saint showered me with his blessings, my whole mind, body and soul became very calm and quiet. At the same time, I felt a cool shiver in my entire body. I don’t know for how long I was in that state. The uninterrupted alarm woke me up at seven o-clocks in the morning. Suddenly, I was at my wits end and started wondering, what I saw last night was real or was it my sheer illusion?

It becomes more difficult, delicate and serious when you deal with your best friends. The basic difference between the two is; family is related to you and you are directly connected with them and sometimes dependent on you. Therefore, they tolerate your anger, arrogance, stupidity and torture, because they are attached with you socially, they have to live that relationship without any choice.

In friendship; one must not take undue advantages, benefits and favors; it must not have any hidden agenda, expectations, motives, objectives and purposes. It can’t be made one way traffic, to make it durable, flexible, sustainable, workable and long lasting relationship. First of all, you need to give everything unconditionally to your loved-one, without expecting anything in return.

Because the true friend always goes out of his/her way, means, capacity, capability, limit and strength to do every thing possible to make his/her friend’s life more comfortable, enjoyable, lovable, peaceful and trouble free, without expecting anything in return. If the need be, she/he will not hesitate for a second to sacrifice his/her life too for the sake of friendship. Therefore, I have decided by all means to be a good friend and good human-being.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

New dreams, new hopes and new lives

I was returning home from Chandigarh after attending Mr. Sabrawal’s farewell party. Although the guests were still enjoying the party, but I left the hotel around 11 O’ Clock on Sunday night.

Mr. Sabrawal sahib had retired on 31st of August this year after serving a nationalized bank for more than 32 years as an auditor. They were insisting me that I must stay with them at their house for that night and leave the next morning, because it will take 6-7 hours to reach Gurgaon by car. Mrs. Sabrawal was more worried and she was repeatedly making a request not to travel at night alone on the national highway.

Somehow after repeated requests they allowed me to leave on one condition that I will drive safely with normal speed and call them back after reaching Gurgaon. Finally, with great difficulty, I left the party and reached Ambala Cant area within 45 minutes of continuous drive, because the state highway was almost free from traffic. As soon as I hit the national highway no.-1, I was forced to slow-down my car-speed, due to very heavy congestion on the road and I was driving at the speed of 40 KMPH.

I did not informed my wife about my late night traveling by car alone, otherwise she would have been worried. I knew for sure that she would really tear me apart once I reached home in the morning. I decided not to think on that matter any further and will see how to handle the situation when the time will come; and I started listening to Gurbani on my car stereo.

It was mid-night when I crossed Kurukshetra area and was heading towards Karnal when suddenly I saw one lady in bright red colour salwark-kameez, at this hour of night, waiving with both her hands to stop the car. Since I was driving in a very high-speed, I could not stop the car instantly and continued driving. I saw her again on the road ahead, but ignored her and kept on driving faster.

Was she the same lady again or I was dreaming? I did not stop my car and increased the speed of my car to 120 KMPH. But to my surprised, I saw the same lady once again, screaming on the road and waiving with both her hands for help. I literally don’t know how my car was stopped automatically in front of her. She knocked on the left side glass window of my car twice, but I did not roll down the glass window instead put all the car doors under lock.

She was looking in panic, crying and was repeatedly knocking on the glass window. With lots of curiosity and courage, I pulled down the car-glass and she spoke to me in Multani-Punjabi that she was traveling by roadways bus towards Delhi from Chandigarh. On the way, her bus met with a serious accident and all the passengers including the driver and conductor have been badly injured in the accident.

She was the only un-hurt survivor in the entire bus. She was very scared, hence she ran away from the accident spot in panic. She was walking alone on this highway since long but nobody was ready to stop the car at this hour of night and offer her lift.

She had recently got married with an automobile spare parts dealer in Delhi and was going back home alone to Delhi from her parent’s house. Her husband had promised to receive her at Kasmiri-gate-bus-depot in the morning. She had also lost her mobile phone and suitcase in the bus and she didn’t remember any of the mobile numbers of her husband, family or friends due to the sheer-fear, frustration and tension, caused by the said road accident.

She wanted me to give her a lift till Janakpuri metro station at north Delhi from there she would take a metro train and go home. I immediately opened the left rear door of my car and invited her to sit at the back and take some rest.

She sat down at the back seat comfortably and I pushed the car towards Delhi. I was suddenly feeling a very beautiful smell of perfume in the car but it also made me very uneasy. I was unable to bear the strong intoxicating smell of the said perfume, as such; I was forced to open the glass window of my car to get the fresh air for easy breathing.

First, I thought to stop the car at the highway-restaurant near Karnal for hot cup of tea but she insisted me to drive non stop so that she can reach home before the sun rise. Without putting any argument I kept on driving my car in a high speed. I didn’t know what made me so exited to drive my car in such a ridiculous speed which could have also put me in some unnecessary trouble. I was not feeling comfortable at that point in time. Suddenly I realized that my car stereo has stopped playing the music, I tried to switch on the Shabad kitan again but without any success.

I was not getting any noise or movement from the back seat and was also not in a position to look back and see whether she was awake or sleeping? Since the car was on very high-speed, I dropped the idea of looking back for the time being.

I had reached Delhi boarder around 5:00 AM in the morning when I slowed down my car and informed her that within next one hour she will reach home at Delhi. But I did not get any response, I again said in Punjabi but I heard no response from her side. I finally stopped my car after entering city near Janakpuri metro station and looked at the back seat. I could not believe my eyes, she was not there, and as a matter of fact no one was there at the back seat of my car. I was wondering, where she had gone, I was all along driving the car non-stop, so how was it possible for her to get down on the way, without my knowledge; moreover, why will she do it at the first place?

I also noticed one thing that back seat was in perfect condition and it seems that nobody sat there and I was actually driving the car all alone. Later I also realized the absence of the beautiful smell of perfume, which was very much there while I was driving.

There were so many questions coming in my mind at that point in time but I was not getting any answer and/or response, whatsoever. I decided to stop thinking further on this matter because, it was making me damn scared, sick and deeply disturbed.

Without giving much thought, I again started my car and suddenly heard the shabad kirtan, which also started playing of its own in my car stereo. I was moving towards Gurgaon, the sky at the eastern side was getting brighter mixed with red rays. I knew the sun was on the verge to explode in the sky with the announcement of the arrival of a new day full of new dreams, new hopes and new lives.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

Either you solve all her problems or transfer the same to me at once

Today being Sunday I got up late from the bed. As usual, after paying my gratitude to my father and God Almighty, I picked up my mobile phone, which was kept on the side table, looked into any missed call details and later checked the mail box also. There were 12 messages in my g-mail account and one very important message was from my very dear friend Rajee, (Mrs. Rajeswari Thyagarajan). I read the message with half closed eyes and at the same time a big clock on my bedroom wall was showing the time: 6.00 AM to be precise on this Sunday morning.

After reading her message my eyes were wide open and I again read the same message twice to understand it better. The language was very simple, sweet and to the point but the content was not that simple. It was really very difficult to understand in one go. Moreover, the said message had also made me really sad, very sad and disturbed. I checked the message twice to confirm whether it was actually sent by my friend Rajee or not? And the result was positive.

She was my childhood friend from Calcutta; she got married when she was studying in second year of M.A. (Political Science), her husband: Mr. R. Thyagarajan, B.TECH (Mechanical) from Jadavpur University, was working with an automobile company as a design engineer. After completing her final exams she left for the US along with her husband, who got an offer from one of the large automobile manufacturing company of USA as a design engineer.

I was regularly in touch with her, earlier through postal-mail-service and later by e-mails. She always used to talk about her husband, children and the US economy but she had never ever uttered a single word about herself, her health and her problems. Her husband was promoted as vice president heading design & development cell in the same company; her older son was in engineering college and the younger son was studying in class-X. She got a big house, four cars and handsome bank balance, but she never discussed her personal problems with me. Whenever I asked her about her well-being or happiness, her pet answer used to be: “Since my family is happy, I am happy as well, any doubt, Charan?”

I came to know only last month that she is not well; she is suffering from 'Acid-reflux' from last 20 years. But now it has become a chronic problem. The doctor has advised her that it might lead to cancer. Her husband too worries a lot about it and he keeps calling her all the time, if she has taken her medicine or not. She has categorically mentioned in her last mail: “Although it bothers me but I don’t let it depress me. I am in high spirits; please don’t worry at all for me, Charan”.

She did not reply to me for two weeks, I was getting worried for her. I completely understand why she was so disturbed, scared and tensed. I wanted her to take life as it comes and I wrote to her in my previous mail: “Please don’t give the reasons for the delays in sending your replies. It is life and life can’t be predicted, therefore, we live our life on daily renewal basis. One more thing, I don’t know whether I will be here tomorrow or not, no, I am not joking, because I really don’t know when my Lord will call me and I am mentally prepared and keeping myself ready to proceed as per HIS instructions.

You know what, I don’t have a choice and as such nobody has a choice in this matter. In her last mail she mentioned: “It is always good to read whatever you write except one thing. I am going to mention it right below”.

She further mentioned: “I know this is the ultimate realty. Everyone is destined to go and it is a good thing to keep you ready all the time. But please don’t say it all the time. It hurts, if you keep saying that over and over again because hope sustains life. I know you are very organized. I can judge that from your proceedings and it is always good to be organized. This is the characteristic of successful persons. My husband is also very organized. But I am not that organized. I keep my home very organized, but as regards my personal life I am not that organized, sometimes I mess it up”.

I am so worried about her; at the same time I find it so hard to accept it, I being her best friend can’t help her in her present crisis, why? I think, I am no-good; neither am I a good human being nor a good friend, if I can’t help a friend in-need then what is the meaning of being good friends. I am very sorry, I always used to claim that I am her best friend and I can do any thing for her, I will always come forward whenever she requires any help or assistance, I will be there on her first call, but I see those were the hollow words and merely tall claims, which has got no real meaning or substance. Then what is the meaning of making those promises which you can’t fulfill in whole of you life-time?

She has been very kind to me so was her husband and family. I can never forget their consistent believe confidence, love and trust on me. I have never rendered any favour to her or her family till date. I always wanted to do some thing good for them but they never gave me an opportunity; today when the time has actually come, she truly expecting someone should come and solve all her problems within seconds, but, see my helplessness, incapability’s and bad luck, in spite of my best intentions and sincere efforts, I can’t solve any of her problems, including the physical one which has become so severe today.

As a matter of fact, her problems can’t be shared or borrowed by any one in this universe. I don’t understand why. I have seen people who can easily donate human organs and at the same time can be transplanted also on other human beings, very successfully; then why can’t we borrow or transfer physical problems and worries of our very dear-one’s as well?

I would like to pray to my Lord to give me enough strength, the honour and privilege to borrow all the problems of my very dear friend Rajee, so that she can live her life happily with her family. Therefore, oh my Lord, I pray to you with both my folded hands: “Either you solve all the problems of my friend Rajee or very kindly transfer all her problem to me at once, so that she can have long life, full of good health, happiness, joy, love and prosperity, for years to come”, Amen!

With Prayers

Gurcharan