Please forgive me for the last time

We all are truly blessed by the God Almighty because today at last the great festival of colours called “HOLI” has come and we are going to enjoy, play, participate, see and witness this grand Holi festival along with all our family members, friends and relatives.

But I am going to miss the blessings of my Father who has left me alone in this world, long time back. On every Holi he used to wake me up in the morning so that I can get ready and go to my friends place and play Holi with them in different colours and enjoy the festival thoroughly.

I am also going to miss my older daughter who has got married two years back and settled down with her husband at a far of place. I know she is not with us to enjoy it today but I am sure she must be enjoying the Holi festival with her new family. May God bless her?

I am also going to miss some very close and dear friends who have left me alone one after another in this cruel world and today I am all alone without a single friend of mine because of my attitude, arrogance, anger, ego, high-headedness and proud behavior which must have hurt them really deep, very deep, I am sure of that.

I have also realized one more thing that now the time has come in my life to grow up and behave like a matured man and a perfect gentleman. I must not forget the basic courtesy, etiquettes and decency while talking with my family members, relatives and friends, no matter how close he or she is to me; I have no right what-so-ever to cross the limit of decency at any cost and in any given situation.

Therefore, I must not forget my border-line and I should behave adequately with them; keeping both my eyes and ears open and I should never ever cross my limits (A boarder-line of decency finalized by my family in particular and society at large).

I should always bear my rule book in my heart and check every time before speaking or writing in responses and at the same time keep watchman’s sharp eyes and vigil on myself so that whenever I am going to cross my limits, I should be warned by my inner-voice and should behave properly with them.

Today I want to thank very dear friend of mine for not only showing my actual face in the mirror but also informed me in writing about my draw backs, faults and wrong doing, even at this age. At-least, she has been very kind and modest to spell out my weaknesses, draw-backs and short-comings in a very soft, decent and polished manner. She is the third most important person in my life (after my Mother and Wife) who has truly acted like my true friend, well wisher and come up with those facts which were inherent in me but nobody ever told me in black and white, so upfront and without any hitch or hesitation. I am really-really very grateful to her. May God bless her too?

I am indeed indebted to her for this kind gesture, which will definitely help and assist me in becoming a better person in all respects in rest of my life. I am crystal clear in my mind today about the negative characteristics of mine, because the same negative attitude will have indirect impact on my mind, body and soul and I may simultaneously react beforehand again, as I have done it in the past too.

Therefore, I will not allow the negative forces to influence and malign my mind and heart again and I will not presume things but read only what I am supposed to read, not a word more and nor less, just on the dotted lines, precise and to the point, which I am supposed to read.

At the same time, I don’t want to mistake it wrongly or come up with my own conclusions, meanings, outcomes, and end-results, unnecessarily. I wanted to be fair, very fair in understanding the whole situation the way it should be, which has gone out of proportion, out of control and now became larger than life issue in front of me today. Instead of drawing my own biased conclusions, if require, I will not hesitate to ask them for clarifications, without any hitch or hesitation.

I don’t have many good friends in my life and I am so lonely and alone in this entire world. This crisis is self created, it’s due to my high-headedness, rude behavior and negative attitude which might have broken many hearts in the past and I have never ever realized it till date. Now I can clearly see through and visualize what could have happened to them that they left me all alone in this universe.

Today, with the help and assistance of an Angel, I have realized about my wrong doings, my sins and my mistakes, what all I had done to them in general and to my very dear friend in particular, she was so beautiful, caring, charming, decent, good, humble, kind, loving woman with lots of self respect. She suffered a lot but never uttered a single word and silently left me alone in this big, bad and ugly world.

No, I am not joking, I know the damage has been done and it can’t be cured, repaired or rectified. If I have committed a blunder, mistake and sin; its better, I must accept my mistake also with the same dignity, decency and honour of a perfect gentleman.

I also know for sure, simply by saying sorry will not heal their wounds which have been given to them by me. Therefore, I have decided to ask for forgiveness in your court. Now it’s up to you to pronounce the verdict, guilty or not guilty, which I will accept with dignity, gratitude, humbleness and respect.

Therefore, I would like to request all of you with both my folded hands to please pardon me my mistakes and accept my sincere apology if knowingly or unknowingly I have hurt your feelings, trust me, my intention was not to take someone else’s place, position or space in your respective lives.

As it is, I am suffering from someone’s curse since long, a very long time (more than 35 years have passed since I was loaded with the said cross on my shoulders and still carrying it). It’s my bad-luck that I have not been absolved of that curse till date and I just can’t afford to have another person’s anger, hatred, and curse for the rest of my life.

I know for sure you all are too good, very decent, gentle, honest, nice and sensible human beings; who loves their families very much. Some of you must be dedicated couples, devoted parents and loving brother/sisters. I have very high regards for all of you and your family members.

At the end, I wish all of you a very Happy Holi and once again tender my sincere apologies for all my past mistakes, high headedness, stupidities, rude behaviors and wrong-doings. I pray to you and to the God Almighty to please forgive me for the last time on this great festival of colours Holi and scatter these beautiful colours in my life once again, Amen!

With prayers

Gurcharan

A Friend who came into my life as an Angel

I reached at Indira Gandhi International Airport, New Delhi around 12.30 p.m. in the afternoon to receive Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin who was coming by the Air India flight number: AI-188 from Toronto-Canada. The flight had already landed right on time at the airport but surprisingly the passengers had not yet started coming out from the arrival exit gate of the airport. I got great relief to know that I was not late. Therefore, I started waiting at the exit gate number six of T3 terminal of the new international airport. Approximately after half an hour the passengers started coming out; first the crowd of Dubai flight came out followed by London flight and at the end the passengers of Toronto flight started coming.

I have never seen my guest: “Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin” before but I don’t know why I was very sure about my instinct and was over confident that I shall be able to recognize her as soon as she comes in front of me. As expected, she was coming out along with a trolley loaded with two big suitcases and one large carry bag. And to my utmost surprise, she also recognized me without any problem and walked straight towards me. She was tall, fair, good looking, having bulky figure with very sharp features; she embraced me as if she knew me from ages. I don’t know when we both started laughing and suddenly became very emotional and sentimental; in between both of us have very successfully wiped our tears so that nobody can see us crying; thereafter, we moved towards the parking zone where my car was parked.

On our way home, she started asking questions about my wife and daughters. I requested her to have some patience and once we are at home, she can ask any number of questions to them directly and she will get all the answers from them.

My dear friend Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin was a non-resident-Indian, 50 years old, settled at Canada, working as an English teacher, married to Mr. Surinder Bhasin 55 years old, businessman with two grown up kids [the Son-Kunal Bhasin was 28 years old, B.TECH (Mechanical) working and in an automobile co. The daughter-Kavita Bhasin was 20 years old and first year MBBS student of Canada's reputed medical college].

Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin was a regular reader of my blogs and a very strong critic. She always used to be the first one to respond with an unbiased feedback. She continues to write about her honest and frank opinion/views on regular basis. I have never met her before in person and I have never thought of meeting her personally. Moreover, she was a loyal and dedicated reader of my blogs and that was more than sufficient for me.

I never expected anything more from this distant relationship. But yes, I was always looking forward for her comments very anxiously and eagerly. The curiosity to know more about her was very much there at the back of my mind but somehow, I could not muster enough courage, guts and strength to ask about her past directly. But she knew every thing about me by virtue of reading all my blogs which were based on my life’s true incidents.

I don’t know how, when and why she became a very good friend of mine and she gradually started telling me about her part of the story in installments. I sometimes used to feel very astonished, surprised even shocked, how come a person of her caliber and status could have so much faith in a stranger; it was unimaginable, unheard of and totally unwarranted to do so.

This very quality in her has impressed and inspired me a lot and I became more inclined towards her friendship and gradually she became very true friend of mine. Although, we don’t have any kind of personal or professional relationship between us but today I can say with confidence that my God Almighty is very kind to me that I got HIS blessings in the form of her friendship. And over the period, she has become very close, honest, real, true friend, philosopher and guide of mine.

First time such things have happened in my life, at this age of 50 plus, which was not under my control and I was sitting at the receiving end. She has never asked for any personal commitment, favour or promises from me and our relationship was purely based on an “Emotional-human-bondage” which was Holy, Honest and Pure, if I could say so. She never wanted me to give any verbal or written commitment and at the same time, she has never ever asked for any assistance, help and support from me. Our friendship was purely based on trust that too without any conditions and promises.

I don’t know whether the long distance relations can really work and for how long, but it remains a big surprise even today that how far we will be able to sustain and continue with this so called long distance relationship between us. Till date, I have not faced any problem whatsoever in this regard. I have never thought even in my dreams that I will actually meet her one day in person. And see, with the blessing of my Lord, she has already landed in India today and we are moving towards our home together.

I have told my wife and daughters only last night about Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin and her trip to India. I also told them that she will be staying with us for a couple of days before moving towards her parental house at Jalandhar. They did not say anything on my face but they must be having lot of questions about our relationship, which I may have to answer tomorrow, I am sure of that.

After formal introduction with my wife and daughters, she opened her big suitcase and took out lots of gifts for each and every member of our family. And in the evening, she called me and my wife together and requested us to sit in front of her. She told us in a very reluctant voice that she and her husband Mr. Surinder Bhasin wanted my second daughter for her son. I could not follow what she meant actually? I requested her to define her objective, motive and purpose in clear terms.

After seeing my curiosity and excitement she clarified: “We want your daughter to marry our son Kunal Bhasin, if it’s alright with you?” I was totally shocked and surprised to hear her proposal. I don’t know what to say and what not to say at this point in time, I was almost confused, I never thought even in my dreams that she would propose something like that.

Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin was very matured and sensible lady and understood our anxiety and dilemma without much difficulty and problem, she requested us not to worry at all. It’s her family’s unanimous decision and that’s why she came to meet with us and also talked about the marriage proposal of her son. As a matter of fact, Mr. Surinder Bhasin also wanted to come and meet us but due to an official urgency he had to cancel his trip.

She told us every thing about her family members in general and her son in particular. She also showed us her family photographs along with her son’s bio-data. She brought with her a family video showing her family members and her multi-storied mansion.

We both were in a shocking state of affair to hear about our daughter’s marriage proposal from an honourable guest. My wife was also puzzled and in entire state of confusion but she acted very maturely and told Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin with gratitude and great humbleness that: “Our daughter is doing her Post-graduation in Political Science, later she will do M.ED followed with PhD. Moreover, we never thought of sending our daughter abroad for marriage. Therefore, we need some more time to think on this proposal”.

I don’t know what to say to Mrs. Rajinder Bhasin. She kept her cool; heard everything patiently as a matured and sensible lady and accepted our point of view without any hitch or hesitation. At the end of our conversation, she told us not to worry about any thing; our daughter’s safety, security and well beings will be her first priority. She requested us to think on her proposal more logically, positively and rationally. We should also discuss it with our daughter and take her consent as well, after all it’s her life and her decision shall be final on this proposal. She was even ready to send her son to meet our daughter also, subject to our approval. She will fly back after a fortnight and she want us to covey our decision accordingly.

On the face of it she was behaving normally and patiently but she was trying very hard to control her emotions, I was also not in a position to say anything which could further escalate the situation and hurt her feelings.

Therefore I kept quiet for the time being; at the same time I was not very comfortable, happy and satisfied with the whole episode. I knew it for sure, either way; I am going to lose my best friend, who came into my life as an Angel.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

All of us were blessed by Baba ji

I boarded Gitanjali express train from Jamshedpur Station in the evening; I was having reservation in AC-II coach with confirmed reservation for a lower berth whereas I was very keen to have an upper berth. Two men and one woman passengers were sitting on the lower berths facing each other and they were travelling from Howrah, the station of origin.

Before I could request one of the passengers to switch the seat the lady sitting besides the window seat looked at me with a smiling face and said: “Would you mind taking upper berth please; I would like to stay at the lower-berth, if it’s alright with you?” I was more than happy to honour her request, which was quite obvious. Therefore, I immediately shifted my soft luggage on the upper berth and settled down at the lower seat along with other co-passengers and I started reading my book.

The pantry-service-boy started serving dinner to the passengers after 8.00 o’clock sharp but I was not feeling hungry as yet; therefore, I immediately made a request to the delivery boy to serve my dinner after ten p.m. He simply took back my food-tray. After listening to my instructions, the other co-passengers also made a similar request and told the pantry boy to bring their food around ten p.m. and we all started laughing looking at each other.

The person sitting next to me was around fifty years of age, very fair complexioned and had tall and bulky physique. He was wearing brown colour Salwar-kameek, black colour Peshawari sandals and was carrying small white towel, which he kept on his right arm and he used to rub his face every fifteen minutes with his small towel as a habit and I realized he was actually sweating profusely.

He started his conversation with Urdu mixed Hindi language and asked me where I am heading for. I told him that I was going for interview at Nagpur and would return the next day evening. In order to continue our conversation further, I also enquired about his destination. He was waiting for an opportunity to communicate with me. Therefore he started answering my questions in details. He told me about his family, business and Nagpur city without any hitch or hesitation as if he knew me since ages. His was known as Salim Bhai Fruitwala (a reputed and respected fruit-merchant from Calcutta). He used to take Bananas and Oranges fruits gardens on lease during seasonal spell. In this trip, he was supposed to go to Nasik first and arrange the shipment of Bananas to Calcutta market and later will come down to Nagpur and do the supervision-work on his Orange gardens for few days and at the end of the month will return home. He was having three daughters and one son and all of them were studying in Calcutta.

I was visiting Nagpur for the first time to attend an interview. I asked Salim Bhai about the importance and distinctiveness of Nagpur city. He told me with great excitement about Taj-Baba ji Ki Mazar at Taj-Bagh in Nagpur and he spoke with lots of gratitude, reverence and respect about Baba ji. All the good things which had happened in his life so far were all due to the blessings of Baba ji; right from the birth of his only son after three daughters and his flourishing fruit-business; and the second most famous thing were Oranges of Nagpur city.

I asked him very hesitantly, whether I would be allowed to pay my respects at Baba ji’s Mazar because of my Punjabi background? He instantly told me not to worry at all about any thing because: “Lord’s doors are open for every one all the time”. He requested me to pay a visit at His Mazar and all my prayers will be answered by Him without any doubt and delay. Moreover, all the Saints and Religious gurus do not belong to any particular religion, cast and creed; their blessings and grace are meant for humanity as a whole and each and every living soul of this universe. Although Salim Bhai was not very educated person but his thoughts were very clear about humanity and religion.

I got off at seven a.m. in the morning at Nagpur Station and straight away rushed to the Hotel. After freshening-up and complimentary breakfast, I left for MIDC-Kalmeshwar Industrial Area, which was approximately 30 KM away from my hotel. I was to meet with the Vice President-HR of a very reputed Cold-rolled, Galvanized & Colour-coated sheets manufacturing plant of an internationally reputed group, for the post of Manager (Marketing). I hired a taxi-car for full day and negotiated the taxi-fare with the cab-driver and explained to him my visit plan in brief and at the end I wanted him to drop me at the station where I had to board Bombay-Howrah Gitanjali express train at eight p.m. night.

I reached my first destination in the afternoon. I was told at the reception to wait till two o-clocks due to lunch break. They were three senior executive in the first round of interview, two in the second round and one person in the third and final round. At the end, VP-HR told me to collect my travel expenses and if I were selected I will be intimated by them within next seven days.

I left the office with mixed thoughts and very heavy steps because I was not certain whether I have been selected or rejected by them and slowly walked towards my cab. I requested the cab-driver to proceed towards Taj-bagh, within an hour we reached at Taj Baba ji’s Mazar. After parking the car, the driver requested me to buy offerings, which includes: red roses, packet of incense sticks and sweets.

Suddenly, I saw the cab driver proceeding towards an open-water-pond; he washed his face, hands and legs. Thereafter he took out a small cap from his pocket and covered his head. I also followed suit and then walked towards the main entrance of the Mazar. There was a pin drop silence inside; very calm, peaceful and quiet environment enveloped the entire area of Baba ji’s Mazar.

There was a big queue at the entrance and after fifteen minutes our turn came. The head priest accepted our offerings and in return gave us His blessings & sweets. We sat down there for half an hour and offered our prayers along with hundreds of other disciples. We left the Mazar around six p.m. in the evening.

At the Nagpur station, as agreed, I paid the cab-driver his dues. He took his money and later returned one hundred rupee note with gratitude. I asked him the reason of refund, he very politely replied with folded hands: “Sahib, my name is Mustafa bhai, I am born and brought up in Nagpur and passed over this place umpteen number of times since birth but I could pay a visit to this Mazar only today, I also got the blessings of Baba ji today because of you”. He became very emotional and suddenly hugged me with both his hands and his eyes were filled with tears.

On the third day of my return from Nagpur, when I came home from office in the evening, my wife handed me over one envelops which came through courier in the morning. I was stunned, shocked & surprised to open the same. It was an appointment letter (of Nagpur based Company) for the post of Manager (Marketing) for Colour Coated Sheet Division; based at Nagpur along with an excellent emoluments pay-package.

I did not join at Nagpur because I was not released by my Jamshedpur employer then. 2I years have passed since that incident but the fond memories of Salim Bhai and Mustafa Bhai are still alive in my mind simply because all of us were blessed by Baba ji, Amen!

With Prayers

Gurcharan

The biggest crime is breaking heart of your loved-one

The toughest part of any relationship is the knowledge and understanding of the first person regarding the behaviour, mood, nature and temperament of the second person. In this hi-tech environment of modern age, where distance has no relevance and anyone can become a friend with the person sitting on the other part of the world, where chances of seeing each other could be very bleak, rare and almost impossible. But still, we not only make friends, develop a long term relationships and go all along to maintain it very successfully.

A very close friend of mine always used to say: “A person must be rational in his/her behaviour. In case of any misunderstanding and/or miscommunication; they must speak with each other and try to resolve the issue amicably without hurting each other’s feelings and further making it more explosive at the end”.

It’s easier said than done. I have found out that many times the root-cause of the problem is negligible but our ego, misconception and biased approach clouds our mind, body & soul so vehemently that we take such a drastic and negative steps that not only end up our relationships but also make it traumatizing and painful for our dear friend, in particular.

I must say that sometimes even in our close relationships (family and relatives), we become so irrational, loud, violent and impractical that it becomes intolerable, painful and unbearable and our dear ones submit with dismay, disbelief and depression.

Today, when I look back and see the journey of last fifty years of my life, I see myself all alone walking in this cruel world and nobody is accompanying me. In-spite of having such a long list of relatives and friends, today I am dumped by everyone, have been left alone and carrying my cross on my own shoulders. After thorough analysis, I have come to the conclusion that, these are self-created problems and the not the ones created by Mother Nature. At the end of the day if any one is to be blamed, it’s me and me only.

I have kept losing good friends who were real assets of my life. It was their love and affection which made me multi-millionaire with their deep sense of belonging, belief, faith and trust. I have paid very heavy price to learn the secret of life that no relationship can survive on your defined terms and conditions.

It’s true that a person comes alone and has to go alone from this world, but till his last rites he is being accompanied by all his relatives and best friends. But I am sorry, when I look back from my present position, I see all along, empty roads behind me and no sign or trace of any human being; forget about relatives or friends.

I was feeling really very sad last night but still I was not ready to accept my faults which have made all my friends very annoyed, angry and detached from me, forever. What should I do my Lord and I started crying, I kept on crying for very long time and I went to sleep thereafter.

I don’t know for how long, but when I got up from my bed, I found myself in another world, which I have never seen before in my entire life. This place was built on a very high altitude. It was very big palace of white-marble, flooded with lots of lights all around. I could clearly see the moon & stars which were looking very bright and shining above in the clear sky.

Where have I been? I kept remembering that place but to no avail. After walking for some time, I found so many people at the back side of the palace. Some people were sitting on the ground in meditation and quite a few were walking in a slow motion under the bright moon light. I have also noticed one very strange thing, nobody was talking to each other and everyone was maintaining pin drop silence. The whole atmosphere looked like an ocean of peace.

Suddenly, I saw an elderly man sitting in the center of the ground on a marble platform. I moved towards him and sat down in front of him after paying my respects. His eyes were closed and he was under deep meditation. His face was looking radiant, glowing and his silver beard was very long and thick. He was wearing white robes and was looking very calm, peaceful and in quiet posture. I sat besides him for a very long time. After an hour or so he opened his eyes and pronounced: “I am sorry to keep you waiting for so long, what can I do for you, Charan?”

I told him that everyone in my life has left me alone and I am feeling very lonely, sad and unwanted. He smiled, looked at me with his bright eyes and gave me a very gracious look and said: “The biggest crime is breaking heart of your loved-ones. There is a provision of punishment for every kind of crime in the civil society. But no court of this world has the power to give punishment for breaking someone’s belief, confidence, love and trust. In my opinion, this is the biggest ever crime in human history; and its punishment will be your sincere apology, regret and asking for true forgiveness from the bottom of your heart.

Therefore, please go back to your loved-ones and ask for forgiveness from each and every soul whose heart you have broken. May God be with you and show you the right path.” The Saint showered me with his blessings, my whole mind, body and soul became very calm and quiet. At the same time, I felt a cool shiver in my entire body. I don’t know for how long I was in that state. The uninterrupted alarm woke me up at seven o-clocks in the morning. Suddenly, I was at my wits end and started wondering, what I saw last night was real or was it my sheer illusion?

It becomes more difficult, delicate and serious when you deal with your best friends. The basic difference between the two is; family is related to you and you are directly connected with them and sometimes dependent on you. Therefore, they tolerate your anger, arrogance, stupidity and torture, because they are attached with you socially, they have to live that relationship without any choice.

In friendship; one must not take undue advantages, benefits and favors; it must not have any hidden agenda, expectations, motives, objectives and purposes. It can’t be made one way traffic, to make it durable, flexible, sustainable, workable and long lasting relationship. First of all, you need to give everything unconditionally to your loved-one, without expecting anything in return.

Because the true friend always goes out of his/her way, means, capacity, capability, limit and strength to do every thing possible to make his/her friend’s life more comfortable, enjoyable, lovable, peaceful and trouble free, without expecting anything in return. If the need be, she/he will not hesitate for a second to sacrifice his/her life too for the sake of friendship. Therefore, I have decided by all means to be a good friend and good human-being.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

New dreams, new hopes and new lives

I was returning home from Chandigarh after attending Mr. Sabrawal’s farewell party. Although the guests were still enjoying the party, but I left the hotel around 11 O’ Clock on Sunday night.

Mr. Sabrawal sahib had retired on 31st of August this year after serving a nationalized bank for more than 32 years as an auditor. They were insisting me that I must stay with them at their house for that night and leave the next morning, because it will take 6-7 hours to reach Gurgaon by car. Mrs. Sabrawal was more worried and she was repeatedly making a request not to travel at night alone on the national highway.

Somehow after repeated requests they allowed me to leave on one condition that I will drive safely with normal speed and call them back after reaching Gurgaon. Finally, with great difficulty, I left the party and reached Ambala Cant area within 45 minutes of continuous drive, because the state highway was almost free from traffic. As soon as I hit the national highway no.-1, I was forced to slow-down my car-speed, due to very heavy congestion on the road and I was driving at the speed of 40 KMPH.

I did not informed my wife about my late night traveling by car alone, otherwise she would have been worried. I knew for sure that she would really tear me apart once I reached home in the morning. I decided not to think on that matter any further and will see how to handle the situation when the time will come; and I started listening to Gurbani on my car stereo.

It was mid-night when I crossed Kurukshetra area and was heading towards Karnal when suddenly I saw one lady in bright red colour salwark-kameez, at this hour of night, waiving with both her hands to stop the car. Since I was driving in a very high-speed, I could not stop the car instantly and continued driving. I saw her again on the road ahead, but ignored her and kept on driving faster.

Was she the same lady again or I was dreaming? I did not stop my car and increased the speed of my car to 120 KMPH. But to my surprised, I saw the same lady once again, screaming on the road and waiving with both her hands for help. I literally don’t know how my car was stopped automatically in front of her. She knocked on the left side glass window of my car twice, but I did not roll down the glass window instead put all the car doors under lock.

She was looking in panic, crying and was repeatedly knocking on the glass window. With lots of curiosity and courage, I pulled down the car-glass and she spoke to me in Multani-Punjabi that she was traveling by roadways bus towards Delhi from Chandigarh. On the way, her bus met with a serious accident and all the passengers including the driver and conductor have been badly injured in the accident.

She was the only un-hurt survivor in the entire bus. She was very scared, hence she ran away from the accident spot in panic. She was walking alone on this highway since long but nobody was ready to stop the car at this hour of night and offer her lift.

She had recently got married with an automobile spare parts dealer in Delhi and was going back home alone to Delhi from her parent’s house. Her husband had promised to receive her at Kasmiri-gate-bus-depot in the morning. She had also lost her mobile phone and suitcase in the bus and she didn’t remember any of the mobile numbers of her husband, family or friends due to the sheer-fear, frustration and tension, caused by the said road accident.

She wanted me to give her a lift till Janakpuri metro station at north Delhi from there she would take a metro train and go home. I immediately opened the left rear door of my car and invited her to sit at the back and take some rest.

She sat down at the back seat comfortably and I pushed the car towards Delhi. I was suddenly feeling a very beautiful smell of perfume in the car but it also made me very uneasy. I was unable to bear the strong intoxicating smell of the said perfume, as such; I was forced to open the glass window of my car to get the fresh air for easy breathing.

First, I thought to stop the car at the highway-restaurant near Karnal for hot cup of tea but she insisted me to drive non stop so that she can reach home before the sun rise. Without putting any argument I kept on driving my car in a high speed. I didn’t know what made me so exited to drive my car in such a ridiculous speed which could have also put me in some unnecessary trouble. I was not feeling comfortable at that point in time. Suddenly I realized that my car stereo has stopped playing the music, I tried to switch on the Shabad kitan again but without any success.

I was not getting any noise or movement from the back seat and was also not in a position to look back and see whether she was awake or sleeping? Since the car was on very high-speed, I dropped the idea of looking back for the time being.

I had reached Delhi boarder around 5:00 AM in the morning when I slowed down my car and informed her that within next one hour she will reach home at Delhi. But I did not get any response, I again said in Punjabi but I heard no response from her side. I finally stopped my car after entering city near Janakpuri metro station and looked at the back seat. I could not believe my eyes, she was not there, and as a matter of fact no one was there at the back seat of my car. I was wondering, where she had gone, I was all along driving the car non-stop, so how was it possible for her to get down on the way, without my knowledge; moreover, why will she do it at the first place?

I also noticed one thing that back seat was in perfect condition and it seems that nobody sat there and I was actually driving the car all alone. Later I also realized the absence of the beautiful smell of perfume, which was very much there while I was driving.

There were so many questions coming in my mind at that point in time but I was not getting any answer and/or response, whatsoever. I decided to stop thinking further on this matter because, it was making me damn scared, sick and deeply disturbed.

Without giving much thought, I again started my car and suddenly heard the shabad kirtan, which also started playing of its own in my car stereo. I was moving towards Gurgaon, the sky at the eastern side was getting brighter mixed with red rays. I knew the sun was on the verge to explode in the sky with the announcement of the arrival of a new day full of new dreams, new hopes and new lives.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

Either you solve all her problems or transfer the same to me at once

Today being Sunday I got up late from the bed. As usual, after paying my gratitude to my father and God Almighty, I picked up my mobile phone, which was kept on the side table, looked into any missed call details and later checked the mail box also. There were 12 messages in my g-mail account and one very important message was from my very dear friend Rajee, (Mrs. Rajeswari Thyagarajan). I read the message with half closed eyes and at the same time a big clock on my bedroom wall was showing the time: 6.00 AM to be precise on this Sunday morning.

After reading her message my eyes were wide open and I again read the same message twice to understand it better. The language was very simple, sweet and to the point but the content was not that simple. It was really very difficult to understand in one go. Moreover, the said message had also made me really sad, very sad and disturbed. I checked the message twice to confirm whether it was actually sent by my friend Rajee or not? And the result was positive.

She was my childhood friend from Calcutta; she got married when she was studying in second year of M.A. (Political Science), her husband: Mr. R. Thyagarajan, B.TECH (Mechanical) from Jadavpur University, was working with an automobile company as a design engineer. After completing her final exams she left for the US along with her husband, who got an offer from one of the large automobile manufacturing company of USA as a design engineer.

I was regularly in touch with her, earlier through postal-mail-service and later by e-mails. She always used to talk about her husband, children and the US economy but she had never ever uttered a single word about herself, her health and her problems. Her husband was promoted as vice president heading design & development cell in the same company; her older son was in engineering college and the younger son was studying in class-X. She got a big house, four cars and handsome bank balance, but she never discussed her personal problems with me. Whenever I asked her about her well-being or happiness, her pet answer used to be: “Since my family is happy, I am happy as well, any doubt, Charan?”

I came to know only last month that she is not well; she is suffering from 'Acid-reflux' from last 20 years. But now it has become a chronic problem. The doctor has advised her that it might lead to cancer. Her husband too worries a lot about it and he keeps calling her all the time, if she has taken her medicine or not. She has categorically mentioned in her last mail: “Although it bothers me but I don’t let it depress me. I am in high spirits; please don’t worry at all for me, Charan”.

She did not reply to me for two weeks, I was getting worried for her. I completely understand why she was so disturbed, scared and tensed. I wanted her to take life as it comes and I wrote to her in my previous mail: “Please don’t give the reasons for the delays in sending your replies. It is life and life can’t be predicted, therefore, we live our life on daily renewal basis. One more thing, I don’t know whether I will be here tomorrow or not, no, I am not joking, because I really don’t know when my Lord will call me and I am mentally prepared and keeping myself ready to proceed as per HIS instructions.

You know what, I don’t have a choice and as such nobody has a choice in this matter. In her last mail she mentioned: “It is always good to read whatever you write except one thing. I am going to mention it right below”.

She further mentioned: “I know this is the ultimate realty. Everyone is destined to go and it is a good thing to keep you ready all the time. But please don’t say it all the time. It hurts, if you keep saying that over and over again because hope sustains life. I know you are very organized. I can judge that from your proceedings and it is always good to be organized. This is the characteristic of successful persons. My husband is also very organized. But I am not that organized. I keep my home very organized, but as regards my personal life I am not that organized, sometimes I mess it up”.

I am so worried about her; at the same time I find it so hard to accept it, I being her best friend can’t help her in her present crisis, why? I think, I am no-good; neither am I a good human being nor a good friend, if I can’t help a friend in-need then what is the meaning of being good friends. I am very sorry, I always used to claim that I am her best friend and I can do any thing for her, I will always come forward whenever she requires any help or assistance, I will be there on her first call, but I see those were the hollow words and merely tall claims, which has got no real meaning or substance. Then what is the meaning of making those promises which you can’t fulfill in whole of you life-time?

She has been very kind to me so was her husband and family. I can never forget their consistent believe confidence, love and trust on me. I have never rendered any favour to her or her family till date. I always wanted to do some thing good for them but they never gave me an opportunity; today when the time has actually come, she truly expecting someone should come and solve all her problems within seconds, but, see my helplessness, incapability’s and bad luck, in spite of my best intentions and sincere efforts, I can’t solve any of her problems, including the physical one which has become so severe today.

As a matter of fact, her problems can’t be shared or borrowed by any one in this universe. I don’t understand why. I have seen people who can easily donate human organs and at the same time can be transplanted also on other human beings, very successfully; then why can’t we borrow or transfer physical problems and worries of our very dear-one’s as well?

I would like to pray to my Lord to give me enough strength, the honour and privilege to borrow all the problems of my very dear friend Rajee, so that she can live her life happily with her family. Therefore, oh my Lord, I pray to you with both my folded hands: “Either you solve all the problems of my friend Rajee or very kindly transfer all her problem to me at once, so that she can have long life, full of good health, happiness, joy, love and prosperity, for years to come”, Amen!

With Prayers

Gurcharan

HIS True Blessing in Disguise

I was waiting for my elder daughter since long at the old Delhi railway station; she was coming from Kotdwar by Garhwal Express train. The train was late for more than an hour; it finally arrived at the station after eleven O’-clock and we reached home in Gurgaon after mid-night from the Station.

The Next day morning she was to visit State Government University at Greater Noida with me for her personal interview for Admission into PhD. course. But I could not get up from the bed, the next morning, due to giddiness.

However, I arranged a private-taxi and sent her alone to Greater Noida, so that she could attend the said interview on schedule. Meanwhile, I have informed my senior about my sickness and requested for a sick leave, which was immediately granted to me.

I have experienced a totally new type of feeling & sense of belonging; first time in my life. I have realized, I am truly cared, loved & wanted by my family members. I am not a money making machine alone, who is working day-in & day-out for earning livelihood for the family; no, not at all. I experienced altogether new feelings of a human-being, who also needs: care, concern, comfort, rest & peace of mind in life. I do not have an iota of confusion or doubt in my mind anymore; they all truly love me very much from the bottom of their hearts, it's proven.

I have never fallen sick in my entire life. Therefore, I was not aware of these facts, which was discovered by me due to my current sickness. My beloved wife and all my three daughters were so much worried, tense & aggrieved that they were going out of their way to make me comfortable and all of them were on their toes to do everything possible, which could make me happy, healthy, calm and comfortable.

My wife, who has gone to her parents place at Jamshedpur to look after her ailing mother, was continuously over her mobile phone from Jamshedpur; my elder daughter was calling me from her University at Greater Noida, where she had gone in the morning to attend her interview; second daughter, who is working as a SST-Teacher in a Public School, was regularly sending me sms’s from her school to enquire about my health condition; and the youngest one was with me through-out the day. She did not go to her college, instead took me to the Doctor and informed him about my old habit of continuously using laptop till late night at home on regular basis. Thank God, my mother was not aware of my sickness; otherwise, she would have straightway landed at my place alone from our Punjab-home-town.

After thorough check-ups, the Doctor pronounced that I may be suffering from cervical symptom. I was advised to take complete rest, sleep on hard bed without a pillow, avoid watching TV and working on Laptop for some time. He opined-due to excess work on Laptop could be the root-cause. He prescribed me lots of medicines and also taught me a few stretching exercises, which I must follow religiously and asked me to report after few days, once I recovered from my present crisis.

After seeing the Doctor and on the way back home, we bought medicines too. They gave me the first dose of medicines and forced me to sleep. Thereafter they were closely monitoring my sleep, without making any noise. My room-TV was switched-off; Laptop & Mobile were removed from my room and they kept on visiting my room on an hourly basis. They used to have only one question on their lips, whenever they see me, face to face: “How are you feeling now, Papa?”

During the Rakhi Purnima day, my daughters used to feel very sad because they were having no brother and at the same time, I was having no sister as we are three brothers. But with the grace of God Almighty, that vacuum was also filled by my lord and my daughters had tied me Rakhi on that day. They possibly wanted me to have ‘Feel-Good’ feelings and that’s why they were making every possible effort to make me happy.

It’s very difficult for me to explain in words the care, concern, emotions & love I have seen in their actions, gestures & eyes, it was so genuine, honest, true & transparent, as if the Lord has sent HIS Angels to my house to take care of me, I am truly obliged to see HIS gratitude, love & affection towards me. I pray to God Almighty to bless every couple of this universe with such a great, holy & wonderful gift of our Mother Nature in the form of a Baby-Girl, Amen!

With Prayers

Gurcharan