Matches made in Heaven - Marriages performed on Earth

By the time I reached Ludhiana railway station it was 6.30: PM and the Swaran Shatabdi train to New Delhi was running on schedule. Its departure time was 6:55 PM. I gradually moved towards platform no. 1 which was over-crowded with passengers and I started proceeding towards the front side of the platform so that I could get some standing space.  By the time the train entered the platform, it was already 7 o’clock and I could see heavy rush of passengers to board the train in front of every AC coach. I was waiting at the entrance of my AC coach no. B2 when one middle-aged lady pushed me aside and hurriedly boarded the train carrying two big suitcases in both her hands; the entrance space was narrow and the suitcases were big; hence she could not move inside the coach easily. Moreover, the suitcases were making it impossible for her to move forward. People at the entrance gate were shouting and pushing themselves forward to the door but couldn’t enter the coach. I requested the lady to first carry one suitcase at a time with her and the second suitcase I took from her. Then, we both entered the coach with great difficulty. It took three more minutes to finally settle down in our respective seats. By this time, the train had left the station and the service boy had already started distributing mineral water bottles to those passengers who had boarded the train from Ludhiana railway station.

I had visited Ludhiana town this morning by the same train but the objective of my visit was badly hit as my purpose of the visit was totally defeated. Still, somehow, I was trying to control my emotions but was failing in my attempts miserably. I could pretty well feel the heat of my hypertension and the blood sugar level which were moving north. On top of it, my co-passenger had further added to my frustration by her adamant behaviour. I was trying to cool myself off without having any positive solution in my mind. Suddenly, I woke up when the service boy started serving tea and snacks in the compartment. I requested him to provide me with the sugar free pouch. He obliged immediately with two pouches of sugar free powder for my tea.   

I was enjoying my hot cup of tea when the lady sitting on the next seat offered me her thanks and enquired about my destination. She was the same lady who had trouble boarding the train with her two heavy suitcases. I politely accepted her thanks and replied: “I am going to Gurgaon.” She instantly acknowledged:  “me too” with a broad smile on her beautiful face. She must be around fifty years of age, very fair, charming and gorgeous looking. She was gifted with a heavy body structure with a very decent looking personality. To continue the conversation she said - “I am going to stay with my in-laws’ place at Gurgaon and tomorrow night I am going to catch a flight to Canada. Before I could answer her question, she shooted another one: “You live in Gurgaon or Ludhiana, Mr. Singh?” I answered her question and after a long pause, I started narrating her the whole story of the day which had forced me to flush out my whole day’s frustration in front of the lady whom I had met just half an hour back, but I didn’t know why, the after effect of my utterances were so soothing that I felt much relieved!

It all started a month back when I first advertised for a suitable match for my second daughter in an English national daily newspaper. The responses were very encouraging and we short-listed five prospective matches. Out of these, the 5^th one was from Ludhiana - a B.TECH (Mechanical) with MBA (Operations), working as a Product Development Manager in an automotive component manufacturing company based at Chandigarh, and my today’s visit was to this boy’s house at Model Town-Ludhiana.

The initial talks were very cordial with the boy’s parents. They had in-fact invited me to fix-up the date of the engagement and discuss other marriage related formalities. Although we had met them once in Delhi where both my daughter and their son had met and liked each other. I repeatedly asked them if they had any demand and if so, I must know in advance. The boy’s father was decent and politely brushed aside my worries by saying: “we don’t want anything from you because our Lord has given us everything - we only need a decent girl for our boy from a fairly cultured and decent family, that’s all.”   

I repeatedly asked the question of any demands etc. to them including the boy but I got a similar reply from both father and the son. They both seemed extra-ordinarily simple and sweet people. I was praying for this alliance to the God Almighty as to me they appeared to be a cultured decent and gentle family.    

Once I briefly informed them that we want the engagement ceremony to be conducted at Gurgaon first and then the marriage could be performed at Chandigarh or Ludhiana as per their choice because we were comfortable with both the places. They were too good and they had not objected to any of our suggestions. Also they gave their consent for every proposal or suggestions offered by us. In the beginning I was having some doubts but later I was convinced to accept them as a fairly ideal family.

Only the last week, I got an invitation from the boy’s father to come to Ludhiana by the morning Shatabadi Express train so that they could discuss and finalize the marriage related matters which included engagement ceremony, ring ceremony and the marriage reception. They also assured me that they would pick me up from the railway station and also drop me back in their car.

Therefore, today I came by the morning train carrying with me five boxes of sweets, two buckets of fruits, one box each of dry fruits and chocolates/biscuits/toffees etc. I saw boy’s father standing at the platform holding a big bouquet of flower, who welcomed me with a warm hug. The driver standing next to him took all the things that I was carrying from my hands and offered me a bottle of chilled mineral water for drink.

Within twenty minutes or so, we reached their Model Town home. It was a double-storied bungalow built on a 500 yard plot. I was being driven in a Honda city car and one Toyota Innova SUV was standing at the portico of their house. At the entrance door, the boy’s mother welcomed me with a broad smile. First they offered me fresh fruit juice and later served varieties of sweets/snacks/biscuits and at the end they served me with a cup of tea with separate milk and sugar pots.

I was feeling awe struck seeing their style of hospitality. Moreover, the house seemed to be very big, fully furnished, well decorated with all the material goods to make life comfortable.

   

We were discussing about the present political and industrial scenario of the state when I saw the house lady entering the Drawing Room with a very serious face. She straight-away came to the subject with a very blunt question - “Mr. Singh, which model car you have decided to present to your daughter?” The house owner warned the lady by saying: “Don’t you worry madam ji, Singh Sahib is very intelligent, he must have planned something extra ordinary for his daughter, isn’t it Sir ji?”

I was taken aback; suddenly I got up from my seat and started staring at the lady who had just hurled a bomb in front of me. Before I could answer her question, she shot another arrow aimed at me loaded with heavy ammunition and this one virtually pierced me tearing me to pieces. The pain was so severe that my mind, body and soul started bleeding profusely on the lady enquiring about the status of one 3-BHK fully furnished flat in Gurgaon which I was supposed to gift to my daughter on her marriage.

I was dumb-founded and finding it so difficult to speak at that very moment but with great difficulty, all that I could utter was only one sentence -“Are you asking for Dowry?” This time, the house lady started speaking rudely to her husband in loud voice: “What did he say: Dowry” what nonsense is he talking? We are not asking anything for ourselves; damn it, he will only give us one suit each that’s all, but will definitely gift, a foreign make sedan Car, 3-BHK furnished flat and foreign trip to his lovely daughter on her marriage; what’s so new about it? All the girls’ parents do it - there is no big deal?”  

With lots of courage and confidence I finally told the lady with both my hands folded: “Madam, I can’t give even a motor-cycle, forget about gifting a car to my daughter. At present I am staying in a rented house in Gurgaon so how could I offer a furnished flat to my daughter? Sorry, I can’t fulfill any of your demands and moreover, I had repeatedly asked you in the beginning whether you have any demand but you simply denied everything, and today you are presenting me with such a long list of items which I just can’t afford and moreover your demands can’t be met by me”

After listening to my submission, the house lady started shouting at her husband and she very rudely spoke to him in a very loud voice: “I told you not to contact these service class people, they are worst than beggars, what can they offer us, nothing, this relationship is over, just tell the driver to drop him at the nearby bus stop, from where he will get an auto for station - you hear that.”    

The house lady went inside and her husband also followed her. I was still standing at their Drawing Room totally confused not knowing what to do next. I didn’t know when my eyes were filled with tears and with a very heavy heart I left their house alone without talking to anyone. I slowly walked out of the house and after walking for twenty yards or so, I got a rickshaw which dropped me at the main road from where I got an auto-rickshaw to reach the railway station.

Somehow I reached station but was still under the influence of today’s episode, something like which had never happened in my life before. My eyes were still moist with tears which were refusing to dry up and flowing uninterruptedly. Suddenly, I was shaken up from a ring from my mobile phone. This was from one of my very dear friend from Jamshedpur. In that moment I was not in a mood to talk to anyone or take any call,  but he being very dear I could not muster courage to miss his call and picked up the phone to talk. After exchange of courtesies, I started narrating to him about the incident that had happened today. After hearing the story and a long pause, he asked me only one question - “will you marry your daughter outside your community?” And my answer was: “Why not, If the boy happens to be from a decent family?” He then hung up saying “please wait for my call”.

I got a call again from my Jamshedpur friend and this time he was very excited. At the outset he said: “would you like to marry your daughter with my sister’s son. The boy is educated, serving in New Delhi and belongs to a Brahmin family. I could not believe his statement and enquired again: “Have you discussed with your family members about my daughter and did they agree for a Punjabi girl. What about dowry etc.???” His answers were in the affirmative as he specifically mentioned ‘No Dowry’. He then asked me to forward the CV and photograph of my daughter so that he could share the details with his sister.

Meanwhile, I discussed this matter with my wife and daughter over phone and also forwarded the details of my daughter to my friend. Within ten minutes I got all relevant details of the boy on my mobile and within half an hour I got the approval and acceptance from the boy’s family also. In between, my friend, whom I refer to as “Anna” (which means elder brother in Tamil) and his wife (who happened to be my Rakhi Sister) spoke to my daughter and asked about her consent, and my daughter’s reply, was: “Whatever you, aunty (Anna’s wife) and my parents will decide shall be acceptable to me.”           

After listening to my sad story the Canada going lady sitting nearby started showing her empathy and even asked for my daughter’s resume and photograph so that she could look for a suitable match in Canada. She was literally feeling very sad and offered her honest consolation and prayers that everything gets settled smoothly in my daughter’s life.

This had happened just a month ago and today sitting at home while penning down this story of mine, I am feeling deeply grateful to the God Almighty that finally like fairy-tale story everything ends well, my tale also reached to a final stage of re-union of two soul-mates with the help of a friend indeed; Anna who had not only accepted my proposal but also decided to arrange my daughter’s marriage with his nephew under his direct supervision.

Who said - matches are made in heaven? Correct, but they are arranged here on this earth by good friends and well-wishers like my most beloved respected friend Anna who truly understood the feelings of a lonely helpless father in need of help for his lovely marriageable young daughter and assisted in bringing together a similar helpless parents in search of a beautiful bride for their handsome son.   

With Prayers

Gurcharan