I always feel him around me with his bright, shining and smiling face

I was very close to my father. Almost eight years have passed since he left me alone but I could not forget him; he is still alive for me in my world, may be because I loved him so much. I don’t understand why people, whom we love the most, leave us early in our lives.

My father was the proud parent of three sons whereas I am having three beautiful daughters but he never felt sad about it. Instead, he used to encourage me by saying –“With three daughters, you will also get three sons in the form of their husbands, so don’t worry”.

I fully understand what my father used to think of me when he was around. I am sure, he wanted me to live my life happily, trouble free without any hassles and worry in a very peaceful manner, which should be full of happiness, joy, love, peace and I should never ever face even an iota of problem throughout my life.

Today I am living my life alone, without his presence, cover, protection or shelter makes me very sad, unhappy and sick. I have stopped enjoying my life the way I used to enjoy when he was with us. I was living my life without any fear, tension or worries because, I knew, he was there to take care of every-thing and that he will never let me down. For me, he was my second God who had actually introduced me to my first lord the God Almighty.

I am trying to do many things for my family, in his style, but I am not coming even 10% closer to what he actually used to do for us. All my best and sincere efforts to make my family happy have failed miserably and have gone to the drain due to lack of my devotion, dedication, intensity and love.

He always thought about us first; his personal choices, likings and interest always came later. Throughout his life, he lived for the family first; his love was so deep and intense, which could not be defined in words. I have seen him awake the whole night during summer times, when at mid-night, electricity used to go-off and he gave us air by handmade fan so that our sleep was not disturbed.

We were his first and the last priority and we four were his entire world. He had no friends and we were his only asset which included my mother and us, three brothers. I have never seen him buying anything for himself. I never saw him making any request for any particular dish or item to our mother. Whatever my mother cooked, he used to eat, even if the food was more or less spicy, did not matter to him and he never objected or shouted at my mother. Later, when my mother used to realize her fault, after eating, she used to cry and say sorry, but my father, who never lost his temper, always kept his cool and used to give his soft smile.

Since my childhood, whenever I used to get up in the morning, he was already awake doing his ‘Puja’ and at night when I used to go to bed, he was still busy with his prayers. He always used to recite ‘Gurbani’ and advised us to do ‘Simran’ on a regular basis.

Today, he is not with us, but his memories are still alive and very fresh in my mind. Whenever I feel sad, low or disheartened, I close my eyes and remember him in my prayers and suddenly, I feel him around me with his bright, shining and smiling face looking straight at me with the same intense, deep and soft look, full of his affection, blessing and love, which he always bestowed on us unconditionally. I pray to God Almighty to bless my father with a permanent place in HIS heavenly abode, Amen!

With Prayers

Gurcharan

I have made mistakes and must ask for forgiveness

I always used to think that one should have a friend who is perfect in all respects and it should be without any pre-conditions and promises. Both should be dedicated to each other and should feel very safe and secure in each other’s company. They should be firm; that what ever comes their way, nothing can break their friendship; and they are and they will remains true friends till the last breath of their lives.

It sound very interesting, but should be applicable to both the parties, who thinks in this fashion and expects the whole world's favour first and thereafter they will put the right foot forward towards their dear friends.

There were many examples in our history where “Friendship” has been given a new definition. I am referring to Lord Krishna’s friendship with Sudama and Duryodhana’s with the Karna.

In the above relationship, the first friend is very rich, powerful and highly influential with high standing in the society whereas the second one is poor, weak and having no status or standing in the society. Here, the first friend can survive without the latter but the same is not true with the former.

I have learnt very hard way in my life that friendship become successful only if it’s based on “give and take” formula which works out to be the best and sustainable relationship; otherwise the one-sided liking, favours and support dies very soon and it becomes a liability for the friend who sacrifices the most.

My God has always been very kind to me and I have been blessed with not one or two but many friends, who love me so much and I always cherish their affection, concern, care, love, warmth and also felt wanted by them.

Although I am not a perfect human being, neither very rich and brave nor very resourceful and without any power or social status, but at the same time, all my friends are very powerful, rich, strong with a powerful personality and they have always taken care of me and stood by me as and when the need arose the most in my life.

Today, when I sit back and think about it, I feel so delighted, grateful, happy, honoured and obliged that they have done much more than what I have done to them. They have always been the center of attraction, although I could not do any-thing for my friends but yes, they always tried to remain honest, loyal, true and dedicated to me whole heartedly.

They always bestowed their love and affection without any expectations or return, never lied to me and always wanted to be honest, simple, straight-forward and transparent without hiding anything from me. They communicated very frankly with me without any hitch or hesitation and I always felt at ease and comfortable with them in any given situation.

But, many a time, knowingly or unknowingly, I have hurt many friends with my words, deeds and actions in. I knew for sure, they have not liked it but still they kept quite due their deep love for me. I appreciate their silence but it’s not done. I have made mistakes and must ask for their forgiveness.

I pray to God Almighty to give all my friends: fame, good health, wealth, joy, happiness, love and peace. May the Lord fulfill all their wishes and desires and shower them with everything they need, simply because they happen to be my true friends and they truly deserve it.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

We don’t have to make false promises to anyone any more.

It has never happened with me in the past, but lately, I don’t know why, I am getting more and more worried about my family. I want to finish all my responsibilities as a son, husband, father, friend and a good human being. It's more so because all the pending work should have been completed by now; all the commitments, obligations, promises and pledges, which were made to my Lord when I was in my mother’s womb; to my daughters at the time of their birth; to my friends when they accepted me as their true friend and last but not the least to my dear wife with whom I tied the knot in front of our parents, relatives, friends and the priest who performed our marriage in presence of the God Almighty.

But when I go deep down into my worries, it becomes more intense, which further makes me impatient, scared, tensed and uneasy. I need many more lives to complete, fulfill and honour all those commitments, obligations, promises and pledges, which I have made in this very life.

Now it’s very clear to me, because it’s always easy to commit but very difficult to fulfill. Today, when I have decided to actually fulfill those obligations, I am finding it very difficult, hard and almost impossible sometimes to serve them.

I am totally in a fix, I have realized after years of running around in my life that many promises are made for fun sake, they were just hollow words, which meant nothing and it was to please someone for  formality sake. But at the bottom of our hearts, we all knew for sure that we will never fulfill those promises in rest of our lives.

But in spite of all odds, we keep on repeating the same mistake, again and again, some times we do it as an old habit of promising and then breaking it - as the adage goes 'promises are made to be broken', without any guilt, regret and shame; realizing very little that what ever we have spoken in this life has been noted down with minutes details by the Mother Nature.

I have sincerely tried to fulfill those promises which are essential, important and a must. But In spite of my sincere efforts I could not do so. Now the time is running out of my hands and the D-day is fast coming closers and closers and I don’t know when the curtain of this life will come down.

Today, I have left with no option but to either act upon now or accept my defeat of in-competency, incapability and poor performance of an untrustworthy and unreliable man who couldn’t keep his words as a perfect gentleman.

Moreover, there is no choice left to me also, either you fulfill those promises or face the consequences, that’s it. Therefore, first I have tried to lookout for all the shortcuts but was not successful. Then I thought of making contingent plan but that also failed. Later, I tried to use crisis-management lessons to solve the puzzle yet failed again.

I have no confidence, guts or strength left to face the chief justice of this universe with the dignity any more. I can't deny or contradict about my mistakes, because I have done it and I must accept my responsibility whole heartedly.

Finally I have decided to stop making promises, leaving everything in HIS hands and started renewing my life on day-to-day basis. I wake up in the morning, I thank my Lord for giving me yet another day's life, I plan my day accordingly and try to finish all the day’s work before dawn. At night, before going to bed, I again request my Lord to grant me good night sleep without any disturbance and interruptions.

After a good night sleep I wake up again in the morning, I repeat the same prayer again to my Lord for the new day/night in my life. For the past three months, I am doing these things on a regular basis, and to my utmost surprise, I have nothing to loose because now I don’t have to make any more false promises to anyone any more.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

The Three Angels we love the most

It was the sixth consecutive day and my wife was still in the Hospital. We were all very worried and tensed but my mother was more upset and nervous. She was continuously crying and also praying to Babaji for the safety of my wife and yet to be born baby.

We were already having two beautiful daughters and both were studying in school. Life was smooth and smiling till last year. We were very happy with our two daughters and always wanted to live with them but my mother, who was having three sons and no daughter herself, wished that at least I being the eldest son in the family must have one son.

It all started when my mother came from Calcutta to stay with us at Jamshedpur for a month. She started convincing my wife to make one more attempt and have one baby boy. In spite of her repeated attempts when my wife refused to accept her suggestion, she went to my in-laws place and forced my mother in-law to convince my wife to take one more chance for the sake of the family; after all only the son’s can keep the name of the forefather’s alive for generations and daughter’s are not our own; you feed them, bring them up and when they become young, you get them married into someone else’s family. It’s only a son who will stay with you and look-after you when you both will be very old.

After a month long marathon between the two families, we both finally decided to make one more attempt to have one more child.

All of sudden, a team of Doctors and nurses came rushing to my wife’s cabin and after ten minutes, I was called in by the CMO of the hospital and informed that it can’t be a normal delivery and my wife has to be operated. I must sign on the consent letter, so that the necessary arrangements can be made for the operation.

It was the biggest shock of my life as my earlier two daughters were born through normal deliveries but why now an operation. I was cursing myself, why; why I had accepted the proposal to have one more child, and today, I have brought my wife to the death-bed. I refused to sign the consent paper. Here, Doctors were of the opinion that due to low pulse rates and high blood pressure of my wife, both mother and child’s lives were in danger and I must give permission for the said operation.

Finally, with lots of arguments and counter arguments, we came to the consensus that operation must be performed and the lives of the mother and child saved at all cost.

Thirty minutes had passed since they took her inside the operation theater (OT) and all of a sudden, one nurse came out of the OT and took me inside the OT; The lady Doctor, who operated on my wife, showed me something in the stainless-steel tray and said, “due to double knot (life-cord) on the neck of the child, my wife had to be operated”. I was shivering in fear and was so scared that I could not even ask the Doctor about the health of the new-born. I simply enquired about my wife and the Doctor replied, “not to worry, both mother and the child are safe and healthy”.

I came out of the OT with a very heavy heart. My mother came rushing towards me and asked in weeping voice –“what happened?” I told her about the double Knot story, she interrupted and again asked, “is the new-born a boy or not?” I answered in a low voice, “I don’t know”. Then she rushed towards the sister, who again came out of the OT and the sister finally announced the arrival of a baby girl, in her loud and clear voice, so that everyone could hear her, once and for all.

After hearing about the birth of a girl child, my mother started crying as if someone had expired. Seeing her cry, lots of people came rushing to her and consoling her but she refused to listen to anyone and she rushed back to Calcutta same night, without meeting my wife and the new-born angel. She was very upset because her son had become the father of Three Daughters.

More than twenty years have passed since my third daughter was born; we have no regrets, we are very happy and proud parents of three very beautiful, charming, intelligent, smart and sincere daughters. They are the most wanted daughters in our lives as they are the proof of our existence, and we both pray to God Almighty that HE always bless our three angels whom we love the most.

With Prayers,

Gurcharan

You will only get what you deserve and not what you want in life

I was born in a Hindu-Sikh family in Calcutta where going to Gurudwara and Temple was a must; right from my childhood and I was having no choice either. During those days. I also developed my devotion towards Goddess Kali, Thakur Ram Krishna and God Shani Dev. When I was in College, I used to visit the Church, which was in the College campus. Later, when I joined my Sales profession, I started touring across the county and I used to visit Holy places including many Dargah and Mazars besides Ashram, Churches, Gurudwaras, Mosque and Temples, on a regular basis, all due to my childhood habits.

To my utmost surprise, at each Holy place, I used to communicate with my lord in my own mother tongue (Punjabi) and the prayers also used to be the same. I used to beg and the demands used to increase in quality and quantity day-after-day. If one demand of mine was met, I was ready with two more demands immediately, that too, without any hitch or hesitation, as if, putting my demands is my birth right and to fulfill those demands were HIS top most priority.

If my LORD seriously analyzed my demands, HE will not be surprised to know that all these demands came from different places of worship which included Ashram, Church, Dargah, Gurudwara, Mazar, Mosque and Temple, spread all over the country; and all the demands were similar and repetitive in nature, as if, someone was submitting photo copies of the said demands to HIM by many different channels, routes and sources.

When I became a husband and later a father, I used to ask my wife and children about the justification of each and every demand they used to make. And without listening to their justifications, I used to cancel their demands. And with their repeated requests and reasoning, I used to accept only those demands, which I used to think was right in my opinion, and their choice or preferences were not at all important, after all, it was my money and obviously the decision was also mine.

And if you ask me, what all they were demanding, movie tickets of their favourite film stars or a treat in good restaurant or visit to some hill station during holidays or new gadgets or new dresses with matching shoes, cosmetics and jewelries when someone in the relative or friend’s family got married. And last but not the least, humble request to increase the pocket money/allowance or a personal-conveyance (two/four wheeler) could be the maximum they could ask for.

I never used to honour their demands, not because I could not afford it but because I was of the opinion that it was sheer waste of money and we must not waste hard-earned money, just for the sake of fun.

Today, when I look back and evaluate my family members’ demands, it seems to me so genuine and authentic, but at that point in time I had not bothered to look into it. At that time, decision making power was in my hands and to be more honest, neither was I having any interest nor inclination to fulfill those demands.

But when I put forward my demands to my LORD, it automatically became genuine, in my opinion, justifiable and due since long. I wanted HIM to fulfill all my demands in totality and that too without asking any question or explanation.

And my LORD sitting in his chamber must have been smiling and laughing at my stupidity that in spite of all the knowledge, experience and maturity he gave me, in this life, I could not realize one thing even today that you will only get what you deserve and not what you want in life. Therefore, it’s more important to become deserving before demanding and the same is fulfilled by the nature automatically.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

To understand Life better you need not have to go to any Business School

It was almost mid-night and I was all alone sitting at my study doing very serious thinking by way of chintan (meditation) and the agenda of my late night mission was to finally draw a road-map so that I can reach at my personal and professional destinations in this lifetime before I can get a final call from the God Almighty.

I have been told human life is very precious and after covering eighty four lakh lives; one can get the most sought-after “human life”, which is the most valuable, precious and best life in this world, and every living being of this universe desires to have it, at any cost.

I am totally confused and disturbed with my present state-of-affairs. I am feeling as if suddenly someone becomes all alone, without having any close friend, well-wisher and guide who can sit with him understand needs, wants and desires of his mind, body and soul in totality. Someone who is very closes to him and can talk with him without any hitch or hesitation with un-biased approach. Someone, who can further help and assist him in his personal and professional life and can solve the present crises with lots of courage, conviction, confidence and clear understanding, and finally understand him fully well that too without any pre-conceived notion and pre-conditioned mind, which is full of unconditional love, respect and regards for him.

This problem started when all of a sudden I realized that I am no more young and the middle age crises started knocking at my doors and the physical signs started showing on my mind, body and soul. All of a sudden, I found myself standing all alone in the so called crowded world, where everyone is talking to everyone except me. Neither was I their center point of discussion nor the topic worth discussion amongst them any more.

For my beloved wife, who is still beautiful, charming, sweet and young, I am no more her first priority and the main objective of her life. I was getting older and all my dreams, desires and fantasies have no relevance to her. Besides, for her, the first and the foremost priority in her life, are her children, whose future is the most important thing in her life; hence I should not interfere in her present state of affairs unnecessarily, anymore; unless I have been asked to help and assist her, I should stand aloof.

Similarly, my children’s have also started thinking that the generation-gap between us becoming more-and-more prominent and they find it most difficult to make me understand their point of view. Therefore they have also stopped talking, discussing and arguing with me, any more. Maybe, they have also started thinking that I am getting older and I will not understand their point of views any more, very easily?

But seniors and elders of my family thinks otherwise, for them, I am still not mature enough to understand the true meaning of life because, I am still young not worthy of their trust. Just having grey hair does not mean I have attained the maturity-age, not yet. I still have to go a long way to learn the actual purpose and meaning of this life which I got without paying any price as a God’s Gift to me, per say.

Today, I have realized what my father used to tell me when I was very young but I never gave any importance to his ideas, views and advises then, because I used to think that my father had not gone to any school or college and moreover he was not an MBA; so how will he understand my life, dreams, career and future plans better?

I have also understood fully well at this point of time that, how wrong I was in judging people, position and purpose of their lives, because my thought process, attitude and vision were very conservative, one-sided, narrow and wrong. Then, I used to think that, I know life better than my father and have understood the meaning of real Life fully well. But how idiot, novice and stupid I was, who never understood the real meaning of life, even today. For me life always used to be a plan-strategy with defined goals and the road map to achieve the said goals which were also well researched and defined with a very clear option of having contingency plan-B in case of failure of Plan-A.

But how stupid and wrong I was, through out in my life, because between the fine-thin-lines of this life, I have missed the fundamental point that the Life is not mathematic and you just can’t predict the life the way you want it to be.

Today, I can say with confidence that, you get what you have been destined by the Nature, not a penny less not a penny more. To understand life better you need not have to go to any business school because this entire universe itself is a big university where you are admitted the day you are born that too without any entrance examination and where the classes are a continuous process no Sundays or any holidays. Moreover, here every individual is having separate syllabus and anybody can teach you any subject and you have no choice but to attend the classes seriously and the lectures are also not repeated. Moreover, you can’t buy, borrow or steal the notes from any market of this world.

Here everyone has to get the first-hand practical experience and chances of studying and learning simultaneously. The most unique thing of this university is that after every action, event, incident and situation, there are examinations and everyone has to sit and pass these tests without any option, where all the questions have to be attempted and nobody can afford to be on leave or can re-appear in the said examinations and the best part of these examinations are, the results are spontaneous, if you survive the test you pass otherwise you are failed.

That’s why nobody ever fails in these examinations because the vice-chancellor of this university is the God Almighty himself who will not leave you unless and until you have passed in this Life's (which is His gift to the Man-kind) said examinations, that too in first division with distinction.

With Prayers

Gurcharan

Life is more than Buying and Selling

Whatever I wanted in my life, it has never happened and whatever happened was beyond my imaginations and expectations. Things I not even thought of in my dreams came true and it came in front of me without giving me any chance or choice.

The truth of my life was looking straight into my eyes without blinking an eyelid and I was simply watching it helplessly because I was having no choice either and I was forced to accept the same as a verdict of my destiny.

Right from my childhood I was fond of reading and writting. I always wanted to become a writer and a story-teller but I became a hardcore product-seller and a salesman whose primary job was to please the clients by providing them with the best of products and services.

In the sales profession, client’s happiness comes first and self help comes last. The first lesson which is imparted to every salesman is to understand the customer’s requirements first and his existence was directly linked with the survival of his “Client”. They were taught from the beginning that the Client is a real “King” and they have to do every thing possible to please the client at all cost and at the end of the day, they have to make the client very happy with the products and services they offered.

As a matter of fact, it was very difficult to understand whether the client actually needed those products/ services or not, moreover, it was not any salesman’s purgative also to know about it. Because they can’t be judgmental, at the end of the day, it’s their profession, responsibility and prime duty to perform accordingly, on prime-fascia.

The job of a professional sales person used to be first creating an environment and developing the need, want and desire amongst their prospective customer/clients and thereafter offer them the right product-mix and services to fulfill those need, want and desire in totality.

If we look back and evaluate the buying process with an x-ray eyes, we will come to know that in many cases the actual need was never established fully at the first place and due to target presure from the seniors they end-up over-selling the sales transaction has been made and it was the direct impact of the Third-P of the Marketing-mix (Product, Price, Promotion and Place) which resulted in wrong-sales.

The today's professional salesmen are actually very intelligent, clever and smart and they go out of their way to satisfy the customer’s ego, hunger, thirst and requirement/s by fulfilling all their demands which have been created by the market dynamics.

They offer them a solution, which is in the interest of both the parties and hence the deal is stuck between them and it looks like a win-win situation on the face of it, but if we go deep down and analyze, we will find out that this need may not be there at the first place and every thing was an illusion which was artificially created by the sales environment to fulfill the need, want and desires of the customer.

In the beginning, the said salesman used to feel guilty of over/wrong selling but after repeating the said act again and again with the clients, he becomes an expert enough to even fool himself. He also has started living in the same illusions that the need was actually their hence he is not guilty for the said act. But deep down in his heart, when he really start thinking about his clients, he becomes very impulsive, uneasy and uncertain of his acts and deeds because he has never treated his clients as a human beings at the first place and throughout his professional life the client remains a customer only, nothing more nothing less and the same client is only a via-media of achieving his pre-set sales target/goals and he is not at all bother or worried to know what the client actually needed, wanted and desired in his life.

But we know for sure, life is more than Buying and Selling, but it's easier said than done.

With Prayers,

Gurcharan